Forsaken

Forsaken. Forgotten. Abandoned.

Three words that put my emotions in a nutshell and my relationship with God.

I admit it, I'm angry at God because I feel forsaken.

And today in church, I was reminded that I am not the only one who feels that way.

About three in the afternoon Jesus cried out in a loud voice, “Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?” (which means “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”).- Matthew 27:46

While my suffering does not nearly compare to that which Jesus experienced, He knows what it feels like to be forsaken by God.

While God never forsakes His children, we sometimes feel like He does, and that is okay.

We hear David echo similar sentiments: "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, so far from my cries of anguish? My God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer, by night, but I find no rest." - Psalm 22:1-2

I expressed my frustrations today to a dear friend. I told her that I felt so abandoned and so discouraged that no one understood me or knew what I was going through.

She reminded me that someone does, and no one else may ever. Jesus Himself knows what I'm going through. He experienced it. He knows what it's like to feel God-forsaken.

And while other people will have their own problems, trials, and hardships, no one will ever know my own unique individual pain.

Except Jesus. He bore every grief and wrong doing and pain known to man as He hung upon the cross.

And while I know that I feel God-forsaken, as I've said before, feelings are real, but that does not make them reality. Reality is, God is not forsaking me right now. He's still holding onto me, caring for me. I am reminded of Hebrews 13:5, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you."