Every Day in Every Way

"Every day in every way I'm getting better!"


For Valentine's Day, my mom sent me a "Therapy Box", and in it are small slips of paper. Each day I pull one out to read, and on them are quotes, words, and Scripture verses of encouragement.


Today's saying was rather optimistic:


"Every day in every way I'm getting better!"


I pulled it out and laughed, and initially I thought "That's rather absurd." 


But, then I realized, it's not such a crazy thing to say. And it's true.


Some days, the road seems long and I feel beaten down by life, by other people, by class, by stress, and I always wonder "Did I do the right thing?" 


But ultimately, in many ways, I am making progress every single day. Lately I've been going to bed saying "I survived another day. And I am proud. Because it wasn't easy."

And in the mornings I would usually say to myself "What do you need to prepare yourself for what's going to go wrong today? How can people treat me any worse today? What else can possibly go wrong in your life today that you need to be ready for?"

And I realized that no matter how hard I tried to "prepare", I really was never ready for what took place. I have been blindsided by so many events that have happened, and now I look back and think "Look how much you survived....

You were confined to a wheelchair for six weeks.
You moved on to a walker for four weeks.
You moved on to a cane for four weeks.
You then were walking on your own.
You were having panic attacks and those have become infrequent.
You were having anxiety attacks and those are manageable.
You were not sleeping because you were so worked up. Now rest is more manageable.
You were not eating because you were too upset. Now you have your appetite back.
You wanted to die but you now realize your life is worth more than anything to the one who won salvation for you.
You were falling behind in classes because it was hard to focus, but you earned straight A's last semester.
You would not associate with many people because of what was going on. Now you can converse again with almost anyone.
You were hearing extreme voices in your head and vocalizing them. Now they are a whisper in the background.
You had many people give up on you, but you did not give up on yourself.
You lost faith for a brief time, but now you are closer to God than ever.
You became ill as you tried different medications, but you stayed strong.
You were walked out on by your friends and are still being ignored and slandered against, but you are keeping your head up and keeping your eye on your best friend, Jesus.
You were having self-injurious thoughts, but you have won the battle against them.
You were told you couldn't do this here at school, but you pushed through and are winning a battle.

Whew! that's some heavy stuff. And the list could go on. I truly have been through a lot. And I don't know what other bends I will face in the road. But the list above shows that I truly am getting better every day in every way.

While my progress may not always be evident to myself or to others, it's happening. I'm learning and growing every day.

I don't know what the next curve ball will be. I'm not going to worry about it. Today is the only day worth focusing on. I've been through enough. The only thing I look forward to is the day where I will get a big pat on the back from God and I will hear him say, "Well done, good and faithful servant."

I haven't been perfect throughout this, but I've always done the best I could do. And I have not lost faith in God. Though the world has walked out, and everything I encountered was screaming "GIVE UP!", God remained faithful, and hope gently whispered, "Keep going."

I am being made stronger every day. While I certainly hope my trials are nearing their end, at least for a little while, if something else were to go "wrong" or "awry", I think I would be ready to face it.

Because I am getting better.

Every day.

In every way.