"Tell Me About What God is Doing in Your Life"

I've been e-mailing a rather "famous" pastor of the LCMS and he wrote me this line at the close of his e-mail.

"Tell me about what God is doing in your life."

 I would like to share what I wrote in my reply:

God is doing some pretty amazing things in my life and blessing me far beyond I ever imagined I could be. I gotta tell ya, life was pretty rocky for a while. In fact, it still is to some degree.  I'm going to be a 5th year Senior. My aim after graduation is to teach in a Lutheran School- I'm getting my LTD. 

However, I ran into some beginning last Spring. I knew something was wrong with me- I had a feeling it was depression, but I was too embarrassed to admit it to anyone. I thought "You have no reason to be depressed." So I just put it off. Big mistake. 

Things got pretty bad around October. Life should have been great- I had it all. I was on the homecoming court, I had great friends, I was pursuing my dream. But I could not make myself feel happy. I knew the depression was bad, but I didn't know how bad.

A week after homecoming, I fainted in church on Sunday morning. I snapped out of it, and I was unable to walk. After many brain scans, blood tests, and living in fear, they determined that part of my brain "shut down"- the depression and anxiety in my life was so severe, and I wasn't getting enough sleep, so my brain said, "Okay, Dylan, if you're not going to rest, I'm going to make you rest." So I was forced to rest. I was bound to a wheelchair for ten weeks, and then I had a walker for 6 weeks after that. 

It wasn't ideal for me to spend a big chunk of my "senior" year in college in a wheelchair, but I coped with it the best I knew how. I began having panic and anxiety attacks, and the administration wanted to remove me from school because I was totally dependent upon other students. My boss encouraged me to resign from my job at the school library. 

Pastor, it was the hardest 16 weeks of my life. To be totally dependent upon someone else, and then to have to teach myself  how to walk again was almost humiliating. I laid in bed every night and cried. 

When I could finally walk again, the hard times were far from over. I saw a psychiatrist and got on some medication. It didn't really work. I vomited violently for weeks. I lost 35 pounds over the course of the hard times (not all from the medication).

2nd semester rolled around and things took a turn for the worse. What took me the most by surprise was the fact that some of my closest friends completely abandoned me. They altogether stopped speaking to me one day. They began glaring at me, and pretty much had me feeling lower than dirt. Wouldn't say Hi, wouldn't even give me the time of day. Of course, that didn't help my depression any, in fact, it made things worse. Times were so hard. I felt so helpless. 

A few weeks later, I fell out of bed and fractured my foot. I was so triumphantly confident in my walking abilities, and overnight I was robbed again of the gift of walking God has given us.

As time has gone on, I have found the right balance of medications- I still have some moments, but it is so good to have a heart filled with joy again. I am walking just fine. The friends still do not speak to me. 

I don't tell you any of that to ask for sympathy- I tell you because I wanted to tell you how blessed I am. Because of these hard times, I have grown even closer to God. My relationship with Him is so strong now. I was really ticked off at Him for a while. But now I thank Him for what He has done. He provided so much for me during those times, it was more than I could have ever deserved or imagined.

I've learned that good health is a gift from God. It's taken for granted by so many people. 

I've also learned to find the good-the positive- the blessings in every circumstance. I believe now that so much energy is wasted in self-pity, bitterness, and negativity. When we fill ourselves up with those things, we have no room for Christ to fill us with His joy. 

I've come to realize that I wouldn't change the last 9 months of my life for anything. I have grown close to God, come to appreciate His amazing power and ways, and realized how many good things and people I have in my life.

When we go to the grave, we can't take people or possessions with us. We can only take our experiences. I am taking this one with me. And you know what Pastor? So many people have commented that my strength and positive attitude were inspiring and contagious. I told them my strength came from my Savior. 

I was able to share the love and strength of my Savior with many people because of my problems. That makes everything I've gone through worth it. It's not about me. It's about my Savior and how many people I can help because of what He has done for me.

I'm entering school 3 weeks from today. And I'm entering confidently. I student teach for 3/4 of the year. My first school is Faith Lutheran. First grade. It will be such an amazing privilege to share the love Jesus has shown me with the students I will be blessed to have. I'll receive my first call in May. 

Will there be hard times in the coming year or years after? I don't know. I imagine so- they're unavoidable. But I've seen what Jesus can do and I will continue to cling to Him as my rock and my Savior- no matter what obstacle life may bring.

I'm sorry this e-mail is so long. I wanted to share with you all of the good things God has been doing in my life.

Thank you for your bold witness of the Gospel. 

Blessings to you on your last few weeks of sabbatical and travels back home.

Peace in Christ,

Dylan

Already Full?

I heard a quote in a sermon this weekend that I want to expand upon:
"If you're already full, Christ cannot fill you."

We are so quick to fill our lives with the wrong stuff.

When we fill our lives with anger, we don't have room for Jesus.
When we fill our lives with resentment toward one another, we don't have room for Jesus.
When we fill our lives with bitterness toward one another or life, we don't have room for Jesus.
When we fill our lives with self pity, we have no room for Jesus.
When we fill our lives with worry, we have no room for Jesus.
When we fill our lives with want or jealousy, we have no room for Jesus.
When we fill our lives with hopelessness or despair, we have no room for Jesus.

When we fill our lives with any other emotion other than joy and desire for Christ, we fill ourselves up to the brim and there's no room for Jesus.

But if we pour those meaningless things out, and open our hearts, minds, and lives to the Lord, He can fill us.

He replaces our anger, our resentment, our bitterness, our self pity, our worry, our want, our jealousy, our hopelessness, and our despair with His peace, His contentment, His joy.

If you are already full, spill it out. Get rid of it. Those emotions of hurt and anger take up so much room in our lives, and leave little, if any room for our Savior.

Pour yourself out. Let Christ fill you. He will bring so much joy and peace into your heart when you let go of those grudges, those feelings of hurt, worry, fear, and anxiety, and you will have so much joy you won't be able to contain it.

It's true. Trust me. I've been there. The petty stuff leaves no room for Christ, and no room for love for one another, or hope for the future. It's not worth it! 


But I will tell you what is worth it, is giving it all to Christ and allowing Him to fulfill our every need and heal our every ill.

Be satisfied and be made whole. He has filled the hungry with good things (Luke 1:53)- are you hungry for Him? Or for the selfish, sad desires of the world? Listen to this song. Be moved. Empty yourself out so He can fill you up.

Here's a major blessing I want to share with you:
These are the three churches that I've been playing for on Saturday nights. They share a Pastor. They have become like family, they are such blessings to me and I am going to miss all of the congregations when I go back to school- they are Immanuel, St. Paul, and St. Luke. I have been so blessed to share in their ministry!

Taking The Sting

I heard a story in a sermon a while ago that I was thinking about as I have started reading The Secret Life of  Bees. The story (I think this is how it goes) is not related to the book, other than the related theme of bees.

(I've been on a bit of a story kick as of late- I hope you're enjoying it and gleaning something from it.)

A little girl and her mother were camping. When they had settled in for the night, double zipped the tent and began to prepare to go to bed, the little girl noticed a big bee flying around. She screamed, and began running flailing around the tent. The mother, afraid of bees, began to panic too. That made the situation worse, as they could no longer see the bee. Then, the mother noticed the bee coming toward the daughter. She stuck her hand up to stop it. The bee hit it, and continued to fly, but the mother settled down. The daughter said "Mom, do something!" But the mother held up her hand, and showed the daughter the bee's stinger stuck in her palm. She said "It's okay- the bee can't harm you- don't be afraid, I've taken the sting."

Today, that's what God says to us. "It's okay- I've taken the sting"

The point of my stories in the last few posts have been this: Rest assured, God is in control. And because he is in control, you have nothing to worry about.


Let me repeat that. God is in control, and you have nothing to worry about.


Sometimes, the bees of life are buzzing all around us. I don't know how many of you have worked around bees, but they are pesky. They are loud, they are annoying, and they carry a threat of a sting with them. I'll never forget the time I had spent sometime outdoors, I came in, and Mom said, "WHAT IS ON YOUR NECK" I wiped it, she screamed, and away flew a bee. It never stung me, but I'm sure if I let it linger any longer on my neck, it would have. Then, panic erupted amid the house as we tried to swat it and get it back outside.

Panic and disarray fill our lives when we've got the "bees" flying around.

Sinful habits, pain, hurt, disappointment, anger, bitterness, resentment, and anguish are a swarm of bees that can follow us around.

And they carry the sting of fear and turmoil. They can cause us a lot of pain.

But my friends, today, God sticks His hand up and says, "Do not be afraid- I've taken the sting."

1 Corinthians 5:55 says, "Where o death is thy victory, where o grave is thy sting?"

Because Jesus suffered, died, rose again, and will soon come again, we can say with Paul, "Where is your sting?" Jesus conquered sin, death, devil, hurt, pain, sorrow, hardship when He died and rose again.

Don't let the bees in life that can sometimes be violently swarming around harm you- God will always stick His hand up and take the sting.

The bees will be there- life is not without hardship. But they aren't going to harm us. They can threaten, they can scare, they can taunt, (and they will), but God always sticks His hands up and takes the sting.

You want proof? Look to the risen Savior. Hear how he encourages Thomas in John 20:27 to touch His side. The wounds from the nails that hung Him on the cross are there. He took the sting, and the sting can never harm us again.

Blessings:
-Worked at Rib Night last night- and I got to eat too- we had sliced cucumbers in a vinaigrette, garlic bread, ribs, sauce, and sweet corn. It was fantastic!

-Last night my tip jar burst because there are so many dollar bills in it!  A few more weeks and I can cash it in!

-I got to go to work at 7:30 this morning, it was good practice for getting up early in the fall.

-I got to socialize a lot with people all day

-Played a successful service tonight

-Going to watch Rio the movie tonight.

-New smoothie concoction made tonight!

-Started a new book today! It was great!

-I made this guy laugh to the point of tears after church because of all the cracks I was making to him. In turn, I laughed hard, which made him laugh harder, and then me laugh harder. I love those moments!

Let Him Take Care of It

Food Network has a new show entitled, Restaurant Impossible, where Chef Robert Irvine steps into failing restaurants and offers suggestions, help, and advice on how to renovate them back to a state of success.

As he was telling one of the chefs at a restaurant ways she needed to improve her cooking skills and management techniques.

Upon thinking about all of the chaos the re-opening of the restaurant on the first night that will be in the kitchen, the chef begins to panic a little bit. To the point of tears.

Robert, the tough chef that he is, reaches his arm out and says, "You prepare the food for that night. Let me handle the headache. Let me handle the stress. Let me take care of the chaos."

Isn't that like what God does for us?

Sometimes life comes along and kicks us in the teeth.

We're hurt, we're disappointed, we're let down, we're upset, we're angry, we're bitter.

And it makes us panic a little bit, and sometimes even to the point of tears.

But God sticks His hand out and says, "You don't worry about a thing. Let me handle the headache. Let me handle the stress. Let me take care of the chaos."

1 Peter 5:7, "Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you."

When we're hurt, God says, "I'm here for you."
When we're let down God says, "I always provide hope."
When we're upset, God says, "It's all in my hands."
When we're angry, God says, "Find some rest and relief in me."
When we're bitter, God says, "I love you."

Do your best. Let HIM handle the rest. He will. You can trust Him with everything.

You have been hurt- I know that. But shake it off and step up!- Put it in God's hands. Let Him take care of it. Trust Him for that. He will bless you, as He has me.

I'll Catch You

The story is told of how a house caught fire and a young boy was forced to the roof. The father stood on the ground below with outstretched arms. He called to his frightened son, "Jump! I'll catch you." Looking down, all the boy could see was flames, smoke, and blackness. He hesitated. Time was running out. His father kept yelling: "Jump! I will catch you." But the boy protested, "Daddy, I can't see you." The father replied, "Son, I can see you. That's what matters." 


My friends, today, God says the same thing to us when we are in our fires. "I will catch you!"


Facing fires is common, at least, in my life. I find myself up on the roof of a house filled with flames. Sometimes the fire starts out small. A misunderstanding. But as more things go wrong, the flames spread and the fire grows.


Sometimes the fires are big right from the start. As a diagnosis sheet was slapped into my hand by my psychiatrist I read the words "Depression, Anxiety Disorder, OCD". 


Sometimes we don't notice the fire until it's too late. A fire of a burned friendship because of betrayal. Never saw it coming.


Fires are everywhere. Mental illness. Physical problems. Family arguments. Trouble at work. Financial worries. Break ups. Hurt. Death or health problems of a loved one. Bad grades. 


Those fires all light up, spread, and leave us on the roof of the burning house. Sometimes, my brain goes on default panic mode. Default hurt mode. Default anxiety mode. 


The flames seem to strong and it seems like the roof that is holding me up will soon be swallowed by the fire below. When I go to the default mode of panic, hurt, and anxiety, and God is crying "Jump to me! I'll catch you!" I still hang out on the roof. And the situation never gets any better. 


And in my default mode of hurt, anxiety, and panic, the smoke is so thick and the flames are so strong that even though I hear God saying, "Jump! I'll catch you!", I say, "Daddy, I can't see you."


And like that father in the story, God says, "I can see you. That's what matters."


And it's safe to jump. And He always catches us. Because He can see us. He wants us to trust him.


When the fires of life rise and blow and come to destroy, get out of the default mode of panic, hurt, and anxiety. Listen for God's call. It might be hard to see Him through the smoke and roaring flames, but He is right there, and He can see you. That's what matters.


And, as I said a few days ago, if He gave us the very best, it is safe to trust Him with the rest.


He will catch you. Whether you're jumping from a small shed, from a small fire; or a hundred story building, God is waiting at the bottom. No matter what the problem is, jump. He can see you. No matter how high you are. No matter how big the flames are, no matter how thick the smoke is, His eye is on you. He's ready to catch you, and it's guaranteed He's not going to miss.


Blessings:
-I didn't really have any reaction to my new medication so far! Yes!


-I read a book about the power of reading today and I could only say "wow!"


-The Pastor whose ordination I played for this past weekend sent me a very nice thank you e-mail.


-I had watermelon and sweet corn on the cob tonight during dinner.


-Phone call from a friend.


-Ordered textbooks today for the fall semester


-Got some free children's books today!

What Really Matters

“You should be ashamed to die before you have made some significant contribution to mankind-“ Horace Mann.

I think he’s got it right. This post is going to bounce a little off of what I talked about yesterday (which, if you haven’t read the post about the mule, I would encourage you to do it).

What does Horace mean? Finding a cure for Cancer? Bringing world peace? Ending a war? Building a charity?

No.

He means helping others. He means doing work for God and His Kingdom.

When I thought about that, I thought, my servant heart has withered a little bit. I was a little selfish. I have too many problems, I have too many issues, I have too many worries. I’m just trying to make it day by day, it’s a struggle to help myself, let alone help someone else.

And then the hurt in me speaks up. When I was hurt, sometimes, nobody was there for me when I was in the midst of some dark days, and I was even abandoned and refused help. It was hard. So why should I help someone else when on some days, there was nobody here for me?

But then I tried to think about those hard times and struggles in a different way.

When we are elevated- when we step up from the dirt that is being thrown on our back, sometimes we go through those experiences so we can help other people.

I’ve quoted a professor time and time again who told me this: “To give, even when you have nothing, to be kind to all of the people in your life= the secret of happiness.”

I have had the opportunity to help other people

When we help other people, as I said yesterday, we are not only blessing other people, but ourselves.

Don’t let the hardships bury you- let them be the things that elevate you, and then become a resource for others.

When you die, what do you think is going to matter? How much money you earned? How many awards you earned? How many toys you had? How strong you were in the weight room? How many people you knocked down? How many petty grudges you held? What your grades were in college?

NO!

None of that stuff is going to matter. But I’ll tell you what is going to matter- how many people you helped. How many people you made contributions to. How many people you did not give up on. That’s why you will not be ashamed to die- because you know you gave up what you had to help others. That’s what matters. That you showed the love that Christ showed you.

Last night I had a rough night. I was so upset about some things that I didn’t eat dinner, until about 11:30. I was watching Chopped as I did so. One of the chefs competing for the $10,000 prize kept saying over and over again how much she needed it so she could see her sick grandmother in France.

When it came to the final round, she lost. She was devastated. But her competitor did something that made me cry. He said, “I want you to have my $10,000 prize so you can see your grandmother.

Wasn’t that touching? He knew what it meant to give, and what it meant to help others. Because when we share, we may lose possessions, money, time, or effort, but we gain so much joy, it is worth it.

And when we lay back down on the death bed, those moments- those ten thousand dollar give away moments are going to be worth it.

Here’s my challenge for you today- find someone to help. Grab your keys, your wallet, purse, whatever, and head out your door. Find someone to help.

Because that’s what really matters- giving and helping. All in the name of Jesus.

Blessings:

-Today I went to see my medical doctor. I needed to have a check up with my psychiatrist back at school this month, and I didn’t want to travel all that way just for a half hour appt. with her. So she said I could check in with my medical doctor. Things seem to be going well, but we are doing a switch in medication again. I’m going off of one of my night time antidepressants and on to Ambien. I hope it goes well.

-I was outside doing some yardwork and one boy on the sidewalk hollered at me, “HEY!” I looked, and I knew he looked familiar. I figured he was a child who was from our Bible School. No, he informed me he was a student I had when I did my capstone teaching days in January. He said “You were a really good teacher.” I smiled really big.

-Strength to face a hard day.

-Got some good things in the mail today.

-Getting a new Mitch Albom book

-Getting things cleaned up!

Not To Bury, But To Elevate

I want to share with you a story I read today...


A parable is told of a farmer who owned an old mule. The mule was not of much value to the farmer because of its old age- it could no longer work for the farmer. One day, the mule went over to look in the farmer's well and accidentally fell in. 


The farmer heard the mule 'braying' - in other words, asking for help. After carefully assessing the situation, the farmer sympathized with the mule, but decided that neither the mule nor the well was worth the trouble of saving. Instead, he called his neighbors together and told them what had happened...and enlisted them to help haul dirt to bury the old mule in the well and put him out of his misery.

The mule began to panic, and was in a state of disbelief. But as the farmer and his neighbors continued shoveling and the dirt hit his back...a thought struck him. It suddenly dawned on him that every time a shovel load of dirt landed on his back...He could shake it off of his back and step on it. 

"Shake it off and step up...shake it off and step up...shake it off and step up!" he repeated to encourage himself. No matter how painful the blows of the dirt hitting his back, or distressing the situation seemed the old mule fought and continued to shake it off and step on it.

It wasn't long before the old mule, battered and exhausted, stepped up over the well. What seemed like it would bury him, actually blessed him...all because of the manner in which he handled his problem.


Isn't that how life works? We choose what buries us. 


When life- problems, people, circumstances, illnesses, trauma, or hardship come along and kicks us to the teeth, we get angry. 


Because, it's easy to get angry and give up, isn't it?


But sometimes the things we think come along in life to bury us are the very things that elevate us. 


Life isn't all fun and games. Life isn't perfect. Life isn't living without problems and persecution and hardship. They may not be there every step of the way, but they will be there. Real life means hardships come our way. 


And it will be easy to get angry, to panic, to become bitter, and to wallow in self pity. If we allow those to determine how we handle life's hardships, we will be buried. 


You know what- it's ironic- sometimes the things we think are meant to bury us are actually used to elevate us. 


When life brings on the dirt and it starts nailing us in the back, we choose how we handle it. It's not how much dirt hits our back, but how we handle the dirt that's burying us.


Don't let the things that are here to bury you-bury you- shake it off and step up out of the dirt. 


And you'll find that the experiences you think have come along to bury you are actually there to elevate you, and bless you.


I am thinking back- and I'm still angry about some things. Depression takes a while to come out of and heal from. But it no longer controls my life- I have shaken it off and stepped up.


And I've realized that depression has not buried me- but elevated me. I overcame my darkest days, and I have been blessed because of them.


But why? Why do we experience hardships? Why can't we live a life without being buried by dirt and struggles?


I think sometimes, God gives us experiences we don't always like, but He gives us them so we can overcome them, and bless others by our own experiences. 


I'm going to write more on helping others tomorrow. But think of it this way- if we don't let our problems bury us, we can use our hard times to help others in their hard times.


And sometimes, I think, when we help other people through their problems, we are not only blessing them, but we are blessing ourselves.


My friends, I wrote this post to encourage myself and to encourage you- you choose what buries you. You don't choose how much dirt hits your back, but you choose what you do with it. Choose to be blessed. Choose to be elevated. Choose to shake it off and step up.

Where Have I Been?

I'm back! And I'm blessed! I took a few pictures of my escapades for the last few days, and while I had my camera handy, I took pictures of some projects I completed over the summer.

Sometimes, it's nice to go walking in the evenings, as the sun is setting. Often I run into some animal or other creature, as I did the other night. It was great to stop and watch these geese follow each other around.

My first stop after working all day Saturday was playing in this church Saturday night. It was a church that was actually in my hometown, but then they had a "mega move" and the church was moved to a different town when we basically quadrupled the size of our church. It's old, though, and no air conditioning.

Sunday morning I played in this beautiful church and we sang some awesome hymns.

And Sunday afternoon I went to a third church, where a new pastor was ordained and installed. Here's a shot I took from the balcony during the ordainment. 

And here's what my music looked like as I prepared for the weekend. It was a bit of a challenge trying to keep everything straight and organized.

This is my children's book shelf. I just boxed up 2 boxes of books for storage, and I have another one boxed up that I'm going to take to school with me. The rest will wait on this shelf and in storage (and over time the numbers will accumulate, I'm sure), until I have my own classroom.

And these are the new bookshelves I put in this summer. It's my fun and professional library. I have two more crates of books, plus 3 other shelves, and 2 desk shelves. What can I say, I love reading and I love learning. Other than a few, the entire second shelf on this picture contains books on literacy development and instruction.

I've made about 13 blown up versions of children's book characters. I draw them out on posterboard really big, and then outline them and color them, and then cut them out. They will go on the walls of my classroom in the literacy center. I'm not an artist by any means, but I picked these 4 to take a picture of because they were the best of all I had made.

I wish I had a before and after picture for this. This is my music corner in our basement. There were piles of music every where, but now I have them in large tupperware containers. Yes, that is my guitar; no, I do not really play- I know the chord basics, but beyond that I'm not very good and haven't really touched it for a few years. 

I've been making felt-board characters and other retelling props. This is my current project, "The Great Big Enormous Turnip"- I haven't made boots yet for the man, and there are still 4 animals I have to make.

The last 3 days have been overwhelmingly busy, but, here are some blessings:

-This in an e-mail from the Pastor I'm playing for this Sunday: "People are very eager to have you back with us, and we so very much look forward to seeing you again."

-I made a LOT of money in tips this weekend. My tip jar is almost completely full, and I still have a few weeks of work left!

-Still finding time to Thank God, seek God, and spend time with God.

-I got to receive communion twice over the weekend.

-All of my services went very well.

-We sang this hymn yesterday morning.

-Hearing from friends from school.

-"You're such a handsome young man!"

-"You're my favorite waiter here. We all love you!"

-Finding an e-mail inbox full of amazing comments left on my blog!

-Playing worship songs on the keyboard and singing along

-Feeling great and appreciating all life has to offer! Things couldn't be any better for me!

There's A Hole in My Heart

Dear friends- The "blessings" list on my post will be absent for the next few days. The posts are scheduled posts, all written in one day, because I am extremely busy for the next 3 days. I'll be back to post "live" on Monday. In the mean time, enjoy my thoughts... 

I've got a hole in my heart.

According to Blaise Pascal, everyone does.

He says, "There is a God-shaped hole in the heart of every person, and it can never be filled by any created thing. It can only be filled by God."

When I heard this quote, I pictured one of these:

It's like, sometimes we try and fill our voids with things that just won't fit in the hole. Like a toddler trying to cram a square block into a circle shape, it's just not going to fit.

I talked the other day about our hearts not being able to contain the blessings God has to offer. And I expressed my desire to have a bigger heart.

Maybe I had it all wrong then. Maybe I don't need a bigger heart, I just need to start sticking the respective blocks in their proper holes.

What kinds of blocks to do try to put in the hole of your heart?

Sometimes they're sinful desires and pleasures, and sometimes they're just meaningless pleasures.  Shopping, eating, doing whatever.

Sometimes they're other people.

Sometimes we just sit in self-pity and wallow away, not even trying to fill the hole.

But my friends, there's only one piece that will fit in this hole. Nothing else goes in. You can push and shove and try to adjust as necessary, but the God shaped hole in our hearts only holds one thing.

And that is God Himself. 

In the next few days, I have 2 long work shifts, playing for weekend services at 2 different churches, and then playing for an installation and ordination service, followed by another work shift.

I imagine, come Sunday night, when I get off work, I'm going to be stressed, tired, crabby, and irritable.

And I'll try to devour some food or drink or sleep to try to fill the void of rest.

But none of those pieces are going to fit in the hole.

Because as I've quoted St. Frances before, "We are restless until we rest in thee."

Try all you want, but only God can fit in that hole, and bring His rest.

Price Tags

Dear friends- The "blessings" list on my post will be absent for the next few days. The posts are scheduled posts, all written in one day, because I am extremely busy for the next 3 days. I'll be back to post "live" on Monday. In the mean time, enjoy my thoughts... 

How many of you thought of the Jessie J song when you read that title? While that is a good song, it is not the topic of this post.

But rather, a text a friend sent me yesterday. It said this:
"If you're not being treated with love and respect, check your "price tag." Perhaps you have marked yourself down. It's YOU who tells people what you're worth by what you accept. Get off the 'clearance rack' and get behind where they keep all of the valuables.... Value yourself more. You are special, unique, and wonderful."

My friends, I love a good bargain. If you go into a store, you'll find me with my back bent over, nose dug deep into the clearance bin, trying to scope out a good find.

But a lot of stores throw into clearance bins things that nobody would buy. Flopped products, broken items, outdated things, or things that nobody really wants anymore.

Sometimes, I feel like I belong in the clearance bin.

Based on the way the world looks, the media's messages, ignorance and bitterness from others, sometimes I think I belong deep in the bottom of the clearance bin.

But it's because I accepted the way others view me to be true. I accepted that I am not of any value, I am not of any worth, I deserve to be ignored and persecuted against, and I am nothing.

And I set my price sticker so low, that I was thrown into the clearance bin with the rest of the things that nobody wanted.

But I've realized- I'm more valuable than that. I have worth. I am a treasure. And I'm high priced.

I am lovable- especially in God's eyes. So I dust myself off, pick myself up, and put myself where I belong. (And you belong there too)- on the biggest display in the store, where the best, most expensive things are sold. With the treasured possessions.

I am a treasured possession. Exodus 19:5 says so.

I am special. I am unique. I am loved. And I am wonderful. (That's what God thinks.)

And I don't deserve to be treated like I belong in the clearance bin. That's not going to stop other people's ignorance or cruelty, but you know what? It's not going to put me in the clearance bin.

Because I was bought at a price. (1 Corinthians 6:20). And it's expensive. And nothing compares to what I'm worth to God.

Others may see me- because I'm different because I have a mental illness- like I should be thrown in the clearance bin, or worse, in the dumpster.

But I know I don't belong there. I heard someone say, "People only treat others the way they view themselves. Often, if you are a victim of someone else's bitterness or cruelty, it is because they are unhappy with their lives and themselves."

So I pray that they realize they are valuable too. Because, if they treat me this way, they obviously don't have much value for themselves.

What do you say? Join me in God's arms, where we're all treasured possessions.

Life with Meaning

Dear friends- The "blessings" list on my post will be absent for the next few days. The posts are scheduled posts, all written in one day, because I am extremely busy for the next 3 days. I'll be back to post "live" on Monday. In the mean time, enjoy my thoughts... 


Hunter Thompson said, "Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming "Wow! What a Ride!"


Today, my friends, I ask you, does your life have meaning?


To what do you expend your free time on? 


Facebook?
Shopping?
Reading?
Eating?
Cooking? Baking?
Watching TV?
Watching movies?
Playing video games?
Messing around on your cell phone?


The list could go on.


But after I heard that quote, I realized, I waste a lot of time. I'm not dissing Facebook, nor do I have plans to abandon my account completely, but only as of late have I realized what a colossal waste of time it is.


My life is worth so much more than technology, than sitting and trying to preserve myself.


When I arrive at my grave, I want to be that way- as the quote said, totally used up, totally worn out, proclaiming "WOOOO! What a life!"


What does that mean?


Well, I don't have any intent to go sky-diving, mountain climbing, parasailing. I don't want to turn into a daredevil who does flips on skateboards or tricks on motorcycles jumping off of ramps.


But I want to be totally used up. I don't want to waste another minute. We have so few here on earth. 


I want to use myself up.....
In service. Helping others. Giving. Sharing.
Working for God. As a career.
Devoted to a family (wife and children) some day, caring for them and teaching them to love God.
Forgiving. Letting go and not holding grudges. Such a waste of energy.
In His Word. Studying it. Applying it.
Praying. Talking to God. How many minutes on Facebook could I have used to dig into Scripture or talk to God in prayer?


And when I finally reach the grave, sliding in, wiped out, and hollering, I'll be ready for God to take me into His arms and He'll say, "Well done, thou good and faithful servant." 


And the next adventure- eternal life with Jesus- will begin. And I'll be ready. 

Get Out of The Way

When I'm at work, I have long conversations with people. Some people come to the country club when they know nobody else is in there, because they are looking for someone to talk to.

And it's okay- I love talking. And today, as one woman was sharing something with me, I shared with her some things I was worrying about. She gave me this profound statement:

"Never trouble trouble til trouble troubles you."

Sounds simple, but I thought it was profound.

Why worry about pressures before they pressure you? Why worry about troubles until they are troubling you?

Our conversation stopped there, but my thoughts didn't.

I thought about that all day. And I found myself saying, "I wish I knew that I was out of harm's way. I wish I knew I was out of trouble's way. I wish I knew how to get out of harm's way."

But you know, that's not possible.

There will never be a day for me, for anyone that has an absence of turmoil, that has an absence of hurt, that has an absence of worry, doubt, or the like.

But there's a promise we have from God. In John 14:27, Jesus says:  "Peace I leave with you, my peace I give you."

No where in that verse, or in the Bible, does it say, "When you're living life, you're going to have perfect times. You're not going to have turmoil, you're not going to get hurt, there will be nothing to worry about, and you will never have any reason to doubt."

But it does say, "Peace I leave with you..."

Get out of the way.

Don't get out of harm's way. Get out of God's way.


God is ready to step in and provide peace and healing for all of your worries, troubles, or problems.


When you start to realize that troubles are troubling you, or you're troubling trouble before troubles trouble you, get out of the way.


It's so easy to step right along into harm's way and try to find some kind of fulfillment or hope in someone or something on earth. But they can't give that perfect peace. Only God can.

So get out of His way. He invites you to cast your cares on Him (1 Peter 5:7). He wants to step in and help you. He thinks you're pretty special.

And you know what He says in Romans 8:32? "He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all- how will he not also, along with him, give us all things?"

Did you hear that? God gave the very best for you and I- His Son.

And if He gives us the very best, why don't we get out of the way and let Him take care of the rest?

I Need A Bigger Heart

I got the book "God Thinks You're Wonderful" by Max Lucado today.

Wow. It's not really a children's book, but in a sense, it is. It's one that you keep and you can read in the times when the world has you feeling down, feeling worthless, feeling blue, etc.

One particular line that struck me was something like

"Your heart isn't big enough to hold all of the blessings God has to offer you."

I got the book this morning, and I've been thinking about that line all day.

I've been told a few times, "You've got a big heart, Dylan. You're always putting serving others above serving self."

But it's not big enough. I need a bigger heart.

I need a bigger heart to fully appreciate all that God has done for me. Because too often, I lose sight of the blessings. My heart slams the door shut and says, "Sorry, this heart is full of worry, selfishness and regret, no room to count the blessings."


It's so easy to get that way. Stubborn. When people are cruel, when my body hurts, when I want to wallow in self pity. 


It's so easy to just completely disregard what God has done and think of what great things He will continue to do.


I need a bigger heart.


I need a bigger heart to love myself when I know I've done wrong.
I need a bigger heart to love others even when they are cruel to me.
I need a bigger heart to be patient in times of distress.
I need a bigger heart to constantly be in awe of God's blessings.


I'm not sure if Lucado intended for that page of the book to be taken in this direction, but I did.

When I am grateful, and when I do remember to count my blessings, my heart just isn't big enough to cherish all of them. That's why sometimes I'm speechless, in awe, and total appreciation.

Because my heart doesn't hold all that God has done and will continue to do.

I need a bigger heart.

Blessings (which my heart cannot hold enough appreciation and thankfulness for):
-We had one grandmother bring her grandson to our VBS last week. She told me this story: This little boy is 3 and a half years old. When his mom was tucking him into bed the other night, he said, "Mom, do you know that Jesus cares for us, no matter what?" She said "Yes, where did you hear that?" she said, "That's what they taught us at VBS." Yes. That is what it's all about. That makes every one of those hundred hours I spent preparing and getting it ready worth it. I don't get any money for all of the time I put in, but hearing a story like that is worth far more than any cash I could have received.

-I got new glasses today.... Maybe a photo will come... I'm not sure how often I'm going to wear them, but I have them!

-Receiving that Max Lucado book today (and those of you I know personally, I'd be happy to let you read it- it will take you less than 10 minutes).

-I'm trying to start up a book club for school, and so far I've had a pretty good response! I'm excited to get the ball rolling!

-After I read that book today, I was reminded of this song. It's a few years old, and I forgot about how much I really like it. I encourage you to listen in.

All Circumstances

The story is told of a little girl who got a new bike. While she left it on the bike rack with the others one day when she was at the pool, it was stolen. She called her dad and told him what happened. To his surprise, she didn’t seem upset at all. She informed dad, “Dad, I am honored! Out of all the bikes they could have taken, they chose mine!”

Talk about being thankful in all circumstances!

I know I’ve written quite a bit about being positive in every circumstance and finding the good in everything, but the story of the girl takes that to a completely new level.

I tried my hand at giving thanks for the hard stuff in this post, so I don’t feel like I need to do it again, but I really wanted to share that story. That’s exactly what I’ve been striving to do.

That girl could have been upset, distraught, angry, malicious, bitter. But instead, she chose to be thankful. She probably had to go get a new bike, but think of how her day probably ended up following that incident- she could have sat sulking and crying, but she chose to be positive. And I’m sure the rest of her day turned out to be amazing because of it.

I’m going to take a different route listing my blessings today. The whole day was full, so I’m just going to give a run-down of everything that has happened.

I woke up earlier than usual because it was extremely hot in our upstairs. I couldn’t sleep and I just decided to get out of bed rather than lay there. So, I had about an hour more of time added to my day than I would have anyway.

I went to the post office to mail the things I sold on ebay, and then I ran to pick up a few groceries. On the way back, the car in front of me swerved off and onto the road and I had to slam on the brakes. It was kind of amusing, all of the groceries that were laying on the back trunk area of the trunk flew forward. I’m not kidding, I slammed hard on the breaks, or I would have hit that car (and no, I was not tailgating- anyway,) ... a pack of strawberries hit my head and went all over the car. It was pretty funny. Glad I was not hurt, and I hope that driver was okay too!

I came back, had lunch, and then made felt retelling props for the story "Go Away, Big Green Monster"- I made all the pieces for the face to be used when telling the story and then having the students retell the story.

I practiced for all of my services this weekend- I have 2 churches, and one installation service.

I then got a call that they needed a building host at the church for the afternoon. We are getting directory pictures done, and nobody was scheduled, and they thought I was friendly and nice so they said I'd be a good fit. I had to have a picture done for myself in the middle, but it was nice to visit with people and welcome them to the church.

After that, I had to go to work. It was a fun evening with a lot of laughs, and I enjoyed it, and I made people laugh, and people made me laugh.

And then I came home to some amazing comments on yesterday's post that brought me to tears. THANK YOU so much for your encouragement and prayers.! I can do this! This is not too hard for God and me!

Try Not To Get All Choked Up

If you aren't familiar with the parable of the weeds and the wheat, check out Matthew 13! (Yesterday's Gospel lesson)

Basically,  a man goes and plants a crop for his harvest. When he's sleeping, his enemy comes and plants weeds among the wheat.

The man says it's okay, when he realizes there are weeds among his wheat, because they will just be separated at harvest.

What's life like among the weeds?

I can't say we're the wheat and the nonbelievers are the weeds.

At least, I can't say that I've never been a weed.

I think there are times in my life when I've been caught up and growing among the weeds.

It's discouraging to think about it, but it's happened, and it probably will again, because I'm not perfect.

It's not a matter of trying how not to be a weed,

But figuring out how to live as wheat among the weeds- trying not to get all choked up.

I know the choking feeling all-too-well... believe me. When I suffered from severe panic attacks, I couldn't breathe, and I would be hyperventilating so hard that I began choking.

It's scary- and all you want is another breath, but the harder you try to breathe, the harder it gets.

It's such a terrifying experience, one that I hope I don't have to go through again any time soon.

But that's what happens when we let the weeds get to us. We get choked up, we cant breathe, and we get tangled up with them.

It's not easy to live as wheat when the weeds in your life are strangling you so hard.

What are the weeds in my life? (Normally, I know, I try to find blessings, but bear with me as I talk about the weeds for a moment).

I've got pressures and stresses of the world that are trying to turn me to find rest and relief in material things and means.

I've got 3 people who hate me, who are trying to strangle me. They have done so much damage to me. I was a healthy stalk of wheat, but they have made me feel like I don't even belong here on earth. It is so discouraging. It's like they're having a social exclusive party, eating chip and dip, laughing, having the time of their lives as they watch me suffer. They have made me feel like nothing, they have found my weak spots, took advantage of it, and got some sort of satisfaction out of lying to me for months and then pulling the rug out from me. It's choked me up, real bad, and I don't really know what to expect next. (any suggestions from readers on trying not to get choked up with this would be much appreciated! I pray every night they will stop their wicked ways)

I've got an illness I'm recovering from, and every time I have a problem, the weeds try to get me caught up in being angry with and blaming God.

And God knows we're struggling, trying to stay strong as wheat among the weeds.

And He says, "Try not to get all choked up."

Since this world is sinful, and there are problems in the world, there will be weeds among the wheat. Always.

Until harvest time. When God finally calls us home. He'll bundle all the wheat up.

I just think that's such an awesome visual!

In the meantime, rely on The Rock, and try not to get all choked up. Sometimes it's hard, but God always provides, and God's promises always prevail over all of our problems.

Blessings:
-I had a free day to catch up from all of last week's hectic-ness. I think I'm finally no longer worn out from VBS.

-I got a lot of other things accomplished today that needed to be done!

-I sold some things on Ebay!

-We had book club tonight- a great time, as usual... I really want to start one up back at school. I think I will!

-I got some things straightened out with financial aid at school

Standing on The Rock

Rocks.

That was the theme of our worship service over the weekend, at the congregation I played for anyway.

The theme verse being Isaiah 44:8, "Do not tremble. Do not be afraid. Did I not proclaim it and foretell it long ago?... Is there any God besides me? No, there is no other Rock; I know not one."

We sang "My Hope Is Built On Nothing Less" and "Rock of Ages" (and other good hymns too).

I once wrote a thematic unit on rocks. There are so many different directions you can take teaching children about rocks that is beyond Science.

But one of the recurring themes was how solid a rock is.

The pastor had the theme, "Build-a-god-Workshop"- many of my American followers are probably familiar with the "Build a Bear Workshop" stores, where you can go in and design a bear or other stuffed animal, color, dress, design, etc.

Sometimes, we look to other rocks in our life, and we try to build what we think a "God" would look like in our lives. We put our time, energy, hope, etc. into all of these "gods" that we want so much to bring us fulfillment, especially in our time of need.

So it got me thinking- lately, and especially when I was sick, what have I "built" up to be rocks where I looked for fulfillment or security?

I've looked to people here on earth. Family, friends, professionals, etc.  While people have been a tremendous help and blessing, they never really satisfied the needs I had.

I've looked to earthly items- books, music, etc., for ways to kill the time and avoid thinking about my problems. They kept me occupied for a minute, and that's about all they really did.

I've looked to sleep for escape. While it made me not conscious of things going on, problems always hurt just as bad when I woke up again.

And, as that awesome hymn today said,

"All other ground is sinking sand..."
(I couldn't find one with lyrics to that tune! This is the tune I know- not familiar with the rest on Youtube)...

All of those "build-a-gods" were sinking sand.

But not the solid rock. Not Jesus. That's the only place where you can be secure and find ultimate fulfillment, hope, and peace.

I don't like sinking. I actually just purchased a children's book by Tomie de Paola called "Sinking Sand"- it's a cool book about a boy who falls in sinking sand, and then a girl who is obviously knowledgable about science helps get him out, and then they explain how you make your own sinking sand.

It's explained clearly in the book how it works, but you need a flow of water coming underneath to make the sand sink.

Isn't that how satan works? He's the water that comes which creates the sinking sand. And it's really easy to get stuck with him, with the things and people of the world who try to bring you down and underneath the mess.

But if you're anchored secure on the rock, you're safe. And that's great.

And I've been on the rock for a while, and it's great. And I want you to join me!

Blessings:
-Received communion at both services this weekend.

-The pastor said to the congregation, "Whoever is lucky enough to have Dylan full time at their congregation will be very, very blessed." I think I lit up with a smile.

-My mom somehow got a goldfinch bird stuck on the grill of her vehicle. Needless to say, it was in good enough shape that I preserved it (for educational purposes).

-I was a good grandson tonight and took my great grandma out for dinner. I had grilled chicken over rice, and 3 glasses of raspberry iced tea.

-I found some good deals on Amazon today.

-My favorite show (right now, even though I don't watch much TV)- The Next Food Network Star- is on tonight and I think it's going to be a really good episode!

-I am coming up with more and more teaching ideas every day. It's great, and it's only a month away before school starts again!