Overflowing

I heard a story a few weeks ago that I can't help but share.


A man named James Vanderbrook was a cruel man. In Africa, he kidnapped a family's soon, took him, and burned him to death. This was a father and mother's only son.


8 years later, he came back, and kidnapped the father. He and his henchmen took the mother along, to witness this torture and death of her husband. He made her watch as he burned him to death. As the fire and the smoke rose above his body, she listened to the last words of her dying husband who said, amazingly enough, “Father, forgive them.” 

When James Vanderbrook was caught, he was brought to trial. During the Truth and Reconciliation hearings, the woman was asked ‘how do you believe justice should be done to this man who has inflicted such suffering on you and so brutally destroyed your family’? 

The old woman replied that she wanted three things. “I want to be taken first to where my husband’s body was burned so that I my gather up the dust and give his remains a decent burial,” she said. She stopped, collected herself and then went on.

“My husband and son were my only family. I want secondly, therefore, for Mr. Vanderbrook to become my son. I would like for him to come two times a month to the ghetto where I live and spend a day with me so I can pour out to him whatever love I still have remaining in me.” 

“Finally,” she said, “I would like Mr. Vanderbrook to know that I offer him my forgiveness because Christ died to forgive. This was also the wish of my husband." 

"So I would like now for someone to lead me across the courtroom so I can take Mr. Vanderbrook in my arms, embrace him and let him know that he is truly forgiven. “

The assistants came to help the elderly woman across the room and, as they approached, it is reported that Mr.Vanderbrook fainted. 

Those in the courtroom, all family and friends of those victims and perpetrators of unspeakable violence and oppression, began to sing ‘Amazing Grace’.

That is a true story. It was taken from the reports of the Truth and Reconciliation Commission in South Africa. The breaking point for the elderly South African woman should have been the brutal death of her husband and son. Instead, it became a turning point – a time when she turned all of her sorrow and grief, her pain and anguish into an act of radical love and forgiveness. 


Isn't that so awesome?  It is a story that touched my heart. It is my home church's centennial and our theme verse is Colossians 2:6-7 -- "Therefore, as you received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in him, rooted and built up in him and established in the faith, just as you were taught, abounding in thanksgiving"


Other translations say "overflowing with thankfulness".


That's the way our hearts should be. When they're so deeply rooted in Christ, they can't help but to pour forth His love and compassion in every circumstance and situation.


Things are still going well-- very well-- for me. In 3 weeks, I will move to my new apartment in my new town to begin my new life in a new place. 


And I want people to see that my heart is overflowing with thankfulness. In my words and in my actions. 

Three Months is a Long Time

Hello friends,

Many of you are probably wondering where I’ve gone and why it’s been three months since you last heard from me.  Hopefully I can give you an idea here.

I first want to let you all know that it was never my intention to abruptly abandon Blogger and my followers. I guess it sort of just… happened. I’ve thought of you all often, but in a sense I was “afraid” to enter back into the world of blogging. I think, because, I’ve been embarrassed that I left without any sort of explanation.

I started this blog December of 2010 when I was diagnosed with severe clinical depression and generalized anxiety disorder. I didn’t really know where it would go or how long I would keep up with it. They told me it would take a few years to fully come “around” from the severe depression, and that I would probably battle it for my lifetime. Although it took quite some time, I accepted that’s the way it was.

I wanted to use the blog as an outlet for expressing my struggles, fears, insecurities, and anger. And the blog served that purpose.

But as you remember, toward the end of the Summer, I began showing more and more improvements, and as the school year began, I fell backwards a little bit, but came around again. Though the status of my health fluctuated, the blog did not. It was always there for me.

And as I continued to improve, and God continued to see me through the struggle, I felt as if I had no real stories to share on the blog. I became more self-sufficient and I felt as if I could no longer offer anything to my blog. Sure, I wasn’t quite healed, but my struggles pretty much remained the same. Sure, I was overcoming things, but everyone knew that. And so I let it slip- with the thought in the back of my mind, “You had better keep up every now and then.”

And I guess, now, thanks to the comment dropped by Sarah, I was reminded that there are still people out there who care about me and remain interested in my story. So the “every now and then” has arrived and I’m here to give you an update.

I want everyone to know that I am at a point in my life that I never imagined I would reach. Ever. I knew that God would see me through the depression, but I never imagined I would feel this good, or that I would come this far, or that it was even possible. It just goes to prove that with constant prayer, faithfulness to the Word, hope, and trust, you can overcome anything.

When I was first diagnosed, I was informed that it would be hard for me to keep up with school. That it would be hard to find a job. That I might need to take a year or two off from the “tough” stuff of school and whatnot. That things would probably come around in a few years again.

I can’t begin to say how much I have proved doctors, counselors, teachers, ex-friends, wrong. It is not even a year later from my struggles (I was still severely struggling in April of last year), and here I am today- 3 and a half weeks away from graduating (with honors), and with a JOB already secured beginning in July.

As I said before, I never knew things would- or could- take such a sharp turn for the better. Right now, I am so full of joy and optimism and hope- and happiness. And I don’t see anything changing any time soon.

I have a solid circle of friends who have been nicer, more caring, and more sincere than any other friend I’ve had before. I never knew there were people out there that would care so much for me and love me the way they do. As life goes on, you really do learn who the people are who are willing to stay with you and who will remain your friends for a life time. And you will also find out the people who are only there to use you. And those who are only there to treat you poorly only to build themselves up. You may encounter them- but never get discouraged- there are good people in the world who love you. You might just not realize that or see those people at that time.

I have a job, yes, a job, secured for next year. The whole process went so fast. I was being interviewed by schools, and this one school interviewed me, and a few days later they were ready to hire me. It is a huge church and school, and in the Fall, I will begin serving as the first grade teacher and assistant church music director. It is my dream job- dream area, dream town size, dream congregation size. Everything I was praying about- and it’s now about to come true.

I am graduating. I never gave up on school, pushed through, kept persevering even when the administration told me I couldn’t do it and threatened to expel me from school because of my insufficiencies. Well, here, a year later I’m graduating with honors. You thought I couldn’t do it? Well, administration, you were wrong. Insert sarcasm here- Thanks for keeping your faith in me and believing I could do it. (Yes, there still are some hard feelings here.)

I am finishing student teaching. And I just sort of had a pseudo “mid-term” evaluation today. My cooperating teacher said “You are beyond any student teacher I’ve had. You are excelling and one would never guess you haven’t been teaching for years.” Do you know what that feels like?

Oh, and my psychiatrist told me she was proud of me. PROUD of me. This wasn’t just a kind thing, this was a serious conversation. As in, “Do you know how proud I am of you?” I had a check up a few weeks ago where we finally reached a consensus that I have really far exceeded everyone’s expectations of how far I could come and what I could achieve. She was astounded that less than a year later I was doing so well. She sees/has seen so many patients, but I’m one of the ones that overcame so much in such a short amount of time. And she’s proud of me. Do you know what that feels like?

There you have it. An update on my life from the last three months. It is not thorough by any means. But it’s a start. I’m not signing off here permanently, but I don’t know when I’ll be back. In the mean time, check out Romans 8:31-32. Over the last year, it became my “cling-to” verse and will forever remain my foundation- if God gave us the very best, we can certainly trust Him with all of the rest!

I hope to catch up on other people’s blogs here soon. So you may be hearing from me.

Hang in there with the one who hung on the cross for you.

Sloppy Handwriting

There was a man standing in line at the post office when a gentleman approached him and said, “I’m sorry to bother you, but would you mind writing a letter for me? This weather is so bad that my arthritis is acting up.”

“Sure thing,” replied the other. And as the one dictated, the other dutifully transcribed it into letter form, signing the man’s name, and addressing the envelope as well. When he finished, he said, “Is there anything else I can do for you?”

After a pause, the man said, “Yes, now that you mention it. Could you please add, ‘P.S. Sorry for the sloppy handwriting?’

That's been me lately.

I have a habit of dwelling on the wrong things. 

God has done so much for me, saw me through so much, given me so many more blessings than what I ever imagined or deserved.

And all I can do is dwell on the negative. Like that older gentleman. I sit back and I say, "Well God, it would be nice if you did this. Or fixed this. Or changed this."

All I do is focus on the things I don't have or don't like.

But I have been given eternal life. God says in Romans 8:32, "If I'm willing to give you my best, don't you know I'll take care of the rest?"

Life gets hard sometimes. Sometimes is a terrible understatement.

The illnesses don't seem to get fixed.
The relationships seem to get taught and stretched to a point of snapping.
The bills add up.
The problems don't seem to go away.

But you know what? We can give thanks in all circumstances. 

We have a God who is willing. Whose love endures forever. Whose faithfulness will last from generation to generation.

Because of that, we know we will get through whatever it is comes our way.

God is tireless. God is fearless. God is ours.