Okay- I mentioned yesterday that I was reading "Have A Little Faith" by Mitch Albom.
It was amazing- highly recommend it. I'm hoping Ginelle gets her laptop soon so she can read this and jump in on the discussion because she had mentioned reading it before.
As I am prone to do, I'd like to expand and reflect on a few things from the book.
The first being this quote:
"When we reach our end, that's where we find God begins."
Woah! I can't describe my reaction when I stumbled upon that quote. I think my jaw dropped, and I sat and stared at the page for a span of about ten minutes. I then took a post it and stuck it right there. (and in a few other places later in the book.)
I guess I was just in awe of someone putting exactly what I was feeling into an awe-inspiring quote like that.
I found that is true.
When every earthly element and source comes to a screeching halt and can't provide us with what we need to pick up and go on with life, God steps in and takes over.
God begins in places we thought we were done with and all hope was lost.
We think hope is gone and there is nothing left- God begins.
God begins in the most unexpected places.
You think you can't go on? God begins.
You think life is too hard to handle? God begins.
You think you are all alone? God begins.
You think you can't? God begins.
You think things can't get any worse? God begins.
You think this is the end? GOD BEGINS.
Isn't that powerful!?
Blessings:
-I still am rolling in laughter- we had book club tonight, it was so much fun. I made a mistake, got a title of a book way wrong (Said "My Wife is A Lion" and meant "The Tiger's Wife"- NOT the book we just read, btw) - everyone became hysterical, yelling with laughter, in tears. The rest of the evening was a total pandemonium. We laughed about everything. We were in the restaurant for a good 3-4 hours!)
-VBS meeting today and we look to be almost all set, ready to go in about a week and a half!
-I had to carry a lot of cases of beer today at work. Up and down stairs- BUT- it was great exercise!
-Getting a text from a friend I haven't heard much from this summer!
-I made a new smoothie concoction not too long ago- it was so good!
-It was hot today, (like 100 something degrees), but I was in AC all day.
-I got invited to lead an adult Bible study this Sunday- short notice, but I am looking forward to it! There will be youth there too, so I have to make it invigorating for all ages- they thought I was a perfect guy for the challenge!
-I totally forgot to give everyone a foot update- Haha- my foot is doing so much better, thanks to all who were keeping me in their prayers! It has down-sized to just a small sore now. Still hurts a bit when I put it into a shoe, but it's doing better.
-And, so is my dehydration. Well, as long as I keep myself well-hydrated. I learned my lesson the hard way last night. I didn't drink enough during the day, and I paid for it. The pills dry the body out, so as long as I stay hydrated I'm fine!
-STILL smiling about all the laughter that happened this evening.
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
A Moment to Say Thank You
I got an e-mail yesterday that had this quote:
"God gave you 86,400 seconds today. How many have you used to say thank you?"
I realized that I don't use enough to say thank you. So here is a list of things as of late that I am thankful for:
-Playing an organ today that is over 100 years old. It was one that was maintained for years by my organ professor at college, in the church he was married in, where his wife grew up. I will be playing it for the next few Saturday evenings and also for an installation service at the end of the month.
-Having an hour long conversation with a stranger (now a friend!)
-Buying fresh fruit today
-Being inspired through the Bible and other books. A good one I am reading now is "Have a Little Faith" by Mitch Albom (Ginelle is reading this one too, I think)
-A book club that I joined for the summer. Our conversations challenge each other's faith and perspectives on life.
-The ability to read. I love reading. It is probably my favorite thing to do at this time (even more than organ playing!) I am also thankful for good books and great authors
-My blog followers- You all bring your own unique gifts into my life through your comments and through your own blogs. Thank you for being awesome!
-My job- I love waiting tables. While sometimes my patience is tested, I often make people laugh and people make me laugh and I enjoy work. I'm so glad I came back to do it for another summer.
-My friends and colleagues from college- These guys are amazing. Enough said.
-My family- I'm enjoying my time at home this summer so much.
-The ministry of VBS- It's a lot of work on my part, but it's totally worth it if even one student joins the church or learns about Jesus who didn't know about Him before.
-My future- I know it's a strange thing to be thankful for, but I cannot wait to be a teacher and begin student teaching. Every day here during the summer that passes means I am one day closer to becoming a teacher. And that is great. I cannot wait.
So thank you, God. For all of the blessings you so freely give.
How about you? What are you thankful for?
"God gave you 86,400 seconds today. How many have you used to say thank you?"
I realized that I don't use enough to say thank you. So here is a list of things as of late that I am thankful for:
-Playing an organ today that is over 100 years old. It was one that was maintained for years by my organ professor at college, in the church he was married in, where his wife grew up. I will be playing it for the next few Saturday evenings and also for an installation service at the end of the month.
-Having an hour long conversation with a stranger (now a friend!)
-Buying fresh fruit today
-Being inspired through the Bible and other books. A good one I am reading now is "Have a Little Faith" by Mitch Albom (Ginelle is reading this one too, I think)
-A book club that I joined for the summer. Our conversations challenge each other's faith and perspectives on life.
-The ability to read. I love reading. It is probably my favorite thing to do at this time (even more than organ playing!) I am also thankful for good books and great authors
-My blog followers- You all bring your own unique gifts into my life through your comments and through your own blogs. Thank you for being awesome!
-My job- I love waiting tables. While sometimes my patience is tested, I often make people laugh and people make me laugh and I enjoy work. I'm so glad I came back to do it for another summer.
-My friends and colleagues from college- These guys are amazing. Enough said.
-My family- I'm enjoying my time at home this summer so much.
-The ministry of VBS- It's a lot of work on my part, but it's totally worth it if even one student joins the church or learns about Jesus who didn't know about Him before.
-My future- I know it's a strange thing to be thankful for, but I cannot wait to be a teacher and begin student teaching. Every day here during the summer that passes means I am one day closer to becoming a teacher. And that is great. I cannot wait.
So thank you, God. For all of the blessings you so freely give.
How about you? What are you thankful for?
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
What God Does For Us
A story is told of a little boy who is at a baseball game. The boy is fourteen years old. He wants nothing more than to catch a fly ball.
He is seated toward the back part of the stadium, so he realizes his chances of getting a baseball are slim to none. Nevertheless, he leans over the railing every time a ball is knocked is way, and time and time again he tries to catch it. It never makes it back that far.
While he is waiting for the next ball to come, a girl his age catches his eye and he notices she has a disability. The girl is cheering, and looks to be trying to catch a ball too. She talks on and on about how much she loves baseball and how it's always been a dream of hers to catch a ball. Because of her disability, however, her hand/eye coordination is very poor and she must remain seated.
In the next inning, the boy jumps up as the ball seems to be coming straight for him. He gets his glove ready, and the ball seems to land in his glove.
Without hesitating he brings the ball and hands it to the girl. "This is for you," he says.
Isn't that what God does for us?
Without Him, we don't have much. But He steps in and catches the ball- and gives blessings to us.
Far more than we deserve- He blesses us each day. It's up to us to notice.
We are nothing without Him. We are helpless without Him.
But He catches the ball, and every day blesses us. He says, "This is for you."
And here is a long list of why life is so good right now.
The blessings God has taken and said, "These are for you."
-An amazing recital on Sunday afternoon. I could not have asked for a more perfect day. The weather was great, there was a large crowd, and the people really sang.
-Getting a standing ovation after my recital
-So many positive, encouraging comments after the recital
-The Pastor saying this after the recital in his announcements: "God gives us the gift of music to root His Word in our heart, and His beauty in our heart. Dylan has shown us a glimpse of God's beauty this afternoon."
-Making felt characters for a lesson prop for the fall
-Sitting in the quiet outdoors with a perfect summer breeze
-Upcoming playing services to look forward to
-Finding out I get to attend a conference for free in August
-Finding good deals on Ebay
-New reading material
-Playing an organ tomorrow that was maintained by my professor for years- over 100 years old! (the organ, not the professor)
-Prepping for VBS
Life is so good!
PS- New look... What do you think?
He is seated toward the back part of the stadium, so he realizes his chances of getting a baseball are slim to none. Nevertheless, he leans over the railing every time a ball is knocked is way, and time and time again he tries to catch it. It never makes it back that far.
While he is waiting for the next ball to come, a girl his age catches his eye and he notices she has a disability. The girl is cheering, and looks to be trying to catch a ball too. She talks on and on about how much she loves baseball and how it's always been a dream of hers to catch a ball. Because of her disability, however, her hand/eye coordination is very poor and she must remain seated.
In the next inning, the boy jumps up as the ball seems to be coming straight for him. He gets his glove ready, and the ball seems to land in his glove.
Without hesitating he brings the ball and hands it to the girl. "This is for you," he says.
Isn't that what God does for us?
Without Him, we don't have much. But He steps in and catches the ball- and gives blessings to us.
Far more than we deserve- He blesses us each day. It's up to us to notice.
We are nothing without Him. We are helpless without Him.
But He catches the ball, and every day blesses us. He says, "This is for you."
And here is a long list of why life is so good right now.
The blessings God has taken and said, "These are for you."
-An amazing recital on Sunday afternoon. I could not have asked for a more perfect day. The weather was great, there was a large crowd, and the people really sang.
-Getting a standing ovation after my recital
-So many positive, encouraging comments after the recital
-The Pastor saying this after the recital in his announcements: "God gives us the gift of music to root His Word in our heart, and His beauty in our heart. Dylan has shown us a glimpse of God's beauty this afternoon."
-Making felt characters for a lesson prop for the fall
-Sitting in the quiet outdoors with a perfect summer breeze
-Upcoming playing services to look forward to
-Finding out I get to attend a conference for free in August
-Finding good deals on Ebay
-New reading material
-Playing an organ tomorrow that was maintained by my professor for years- over 100 years old! (the organ, not the professor)
-Prepping for VBS
Life is so good!
PS- New look... What do you think?
The Main Thing
You can find a guest post I wrote on Emmy's blog today:
The Main Thing
I encourage you all to check it out, as well as the rest of Emmy's blog!
The Main Thing
I encourage you all to check it out, as well as the rest of Emmy's blog!
Monday, June 27, 2011
Perspectives Challenge
I want to challenge you to the following things. Perspectives and outlooks on life are so important to our happiness and help us to see the blessings we're surrounded with.
These are things I've come up with when I've been down, angry, upset, or feeling an urge to complain. This is what I did to correct myself, and I challenge you to change your perspective.
Should you feel that you don't want to go to work in the morning, be thankful that you have a job and consider those who are unable to work- whether it be because of job cuts, disability, etc.
Should you feel that you don't want to go to class, be thankful you have chosen the path of education and are striving toward your goals. Think of those who can't afford higher education, or who can't go because of other circumstances.
Should you feel you are having a bad hair day, be thankful there are hairs on your head. Think of a Cancer patient who has lost all of his or her hair and would give anything to get it back.
Should you find yourself complaining about cleaning the house or doing yard work, be thankful you have a roof over your head. Think of those who lost their homes to flooding or tornadoes, and would give anything for a floor of their own to mop and sweep.
Should you find yourself complaining about doing homework, be thankful you have that ability. Think of those who have learning disabilities and cannot complete any work on their own.
Should you find yourself complaining about having to walk a long distance, be thankful you have that ability. Think of a paraplegic who would give anything to go that "long" distance.
Should you find yourself complaining about not getting enough sleep, be thankful you have a bed to sleep in. Think of those who are homeless and often have to lie on the cement.
Should you find yourself complaining about the food that you are eating (whether it be at home, work, school cafeteria), be thankful there is food in front of you. Think of how many school children go home each night to no meal because their family cannot afford it.
Should you find yourself the victim of someone else's malice, hatred, bitterness, persecution, scorn, or ignorance, be thankful you are strong. Things could be worse- you could be one of them!
Should you find yourself a member of a relationship or friendship that has gone downhill, be thankful for the moments you shared together. Think of someone who has never known what is is like to be loved.
Should you find yourself feeling down, purposeless, and asking, "What is life all about?", be thankful you have the time to do that. Think of those who didn't live long enough to get that opportunity.
Life is all about the perspective you take on things.
Feel free to add to this list, comment below, and I will add your perspective challenges to the list!
These are things I've come up with when I've been down, angry, upset, or feeling an urge to complain. This is what I did to correct myself, and I challenge you to change your perspective.
Should you feel that you don't want to go to work in the morning, be thankful that you have a job and consider those who are unable to work- whether it be because of job cuts, disability, etc.
Should you feel that you don't want to go to class, be thankful you have chosen the path of education and are striving toward your goals. Think of those who can't afford higher education, or who can't go because of other circumstances.
Should you feel you are having a bad hair day, be thankful there are hairs on your head. Think of a Cancer patient who has lost all of his or her hair and would give anything to get it back.
Should you find yourself complaining about cleaning the house or doing yard work, be thankful you have a roof over your head. Think of those who lost their homes to flooding or tornadoes, and would give anything for a floor of their own to mop and sweep.
Should you find yourself complaining about doing homework, be thankful you have that ability. Think of those who have learning disabilities and cannot complete any work on their own.
Should you find yourself complaining about having to walk a long distance, be thankful you have that ability. Think of a paraplegic who would give anything to go that "long" distance.
Should you find yourself complaining about not getting enough sleep, be thankful you have a bed to sleep in. Think of those who are homeless and often have to lie on the cement.
Should you find yourself complaining about the food that you are eating (whether it be at home, work, school cafeteria), be thankful there is food in front of you. Think of how many school children go home each night to no meal because their family cannot afford it.
Should you find yourself the victim of someone else's malice, hatred, bitterness, persecution, scorn, or ignorance, be thankful you are strong. Things could be worse- you could be one of them!
Should you find yourself a member of a relationship or friendship that has gone downhill, be thankful for the moments you shared together. Think of someone who has never known what is is like to be loved.
Should you find yourself feeling down, purposeless, and asking, "What is life all about?", be thankful you have the time to do that. Think of those who didn't live long enough to get that opportunity.
Life is all about the perspective you take on things.
Feel free to add to this list, comment below, and I will add your perspective challenges to the list!
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Blessed to Know Who? Me?!
Continuing on with some observations from last night's sermon, the Pastor said something along these lines:
"I've been blessed to be a the bedsides of many members who are dying, and close to death. I've been blessed to visit and associate with many individuals who have illnesses of various kinds.
They've got a different faith than those who aren't knowingly facing death or fighting a battle.
They know what it feels like to carry a big cross, and their faith and their life is changed because of it.
And they are often a blessing to all they encounter. I am blessed to know many of them."
That comment just made me think a lot. How has my life changed since I've picked up this heavy cross, and how have I changed the lives of others?
This is where I value your input. I don't seek praise or adoration, but how have you noticed me changed? Have I influenced your faith life at all? If you don't mind sharing, how?
I would be humbled and honored by any comments.
I am far too tired to write much more, but, TODAY'S RECITAL WAS AMAZING! We had a large crowd, it was a perfect day.
Here are the flowers I got from my family:
Saturday, June 25, 2011
That's Not The Jesus I Want....
I went to church tonight in a different congregation than my own since it's a big day for me tomorrow and I'm going to try and sleep in for my health benefit reasons...
The sermon text was based on the portion of Matthew 10 where Jesus says, "I have not come to bring peace, but a two edged sword."
Wait... What?!
Wasn't Jesus supposed to bring us peace? Love? Harmony? Hope? Fulfillment?
The sermon started off based on advertising slogans, and we often like to think of our Jesus as one who promises to bring peace, harmony, hope, happiness, love, joy.
But here Jesus says He's come, and He's brought a big sword, and He's going to turn people (your own family) against you!
What kind of a Jesus is that?! That's not the Jesus I want...
But it's the Jesus we have. Because He means following Him isn't going to be easy.
Later, it says,
"If anyone must follow me, He must take up His cross." I've talked about bearing crosses before. You can read about that here.
That's what Jesus means. Everyone has a cross to bear in this world. Mine is depression and other problems you are well aware of. Nobody goes through life without bearing a cross.
Jesus means that being with Him doesn't always mean perfection, perfect peace, harmony.
He had a cross to bear, the sin of the world, and we have our own crosses to bear.
However, the pastor ended the sermon by reminding us that a better slogan for Jesus is this:
"Jesus comes with a mighty two edged sword. And also with a peace that is even mightier."
There are crosses to bear in our lives, yes. But God always provides us the strength we need, and when we turn to Him, He provides that perfect peace.
I don't want a Jesus with a two edged sword.
I want a Jesus with a two edged sword who's also ready to fill me with His peace.
I found it kind of ironic that we also spoke together portions of Psalm 119- v. 157-158 tonight said this:
"Many are my persecutors and my adversaries, but I do not swerve from your testimonies.
I look at them with disgust because they do not keep your commands."
Yeah, I, like the Psalmist face many persecutors... but Jesus brings His perfect peace.
Isn't God awesome?! I just left worship tonight totally in awe. I'll probably be up at the crack of dawn and end up going again to my home church in the morning, but I still really enjoyed my experience this evening.
Yeah, I've got crosses to bear, but Jesus comes and brings peace, making it a little easier.
What about you? What are some crosses you face in your life? And how does Jesus bring His peace?
Blessings:
-Last night the dinner party was so much fun!
-I had a glass of wine (as ok'd by my psychiatrist) for the first time since September! (I'm not a real drinker, but I haven't been able to enjoy any wine at dinner parties I've been to...)
-Got a lot of small things accomplished today!
-Our last giant inflatable hippo had a hole, and I blew up a new one today!
-Started a new book- "Have a Little Faith" by Mitch Albom
-Worship tonight
-Being invited to come back to the church in August and play for all 3 of their weekend services! It's the largest church in our district! I am so excited!
-I was gluing a VBS poster this afternoon, and the bottle was plugged up. I squeezed really hard, and, well, the bottle exploded, and there was glue all over me, all over the poster, and all over our living room floor. Do you know what I did? I sat and laughed for a really, really long time. If this had happened last year, I probably would have gotten really upset and angry. I just laughed, cleaned up, didn't let it ruin my work or stop me. Made the situation so much better!
-Not being too nervous for tomorrow
-Out to eat after church with my parents
-And at the restaurant we randomly ran into my grandparents!
-Running into a girl I graduated with who I haven't seen since graduation day 4 years ago!
Please pray that my nerves don't act up, and everything goes well tomorrow!
The sermon text was based on the portion of Matthew 10 where Jesus says, "I have not come to bring peace, but a two edged sword."
Wait... What?!
Wasn't Jesus supposed to bring us peace? Love? Harmony? Hope? Fulfillment?
The sermon started off based on advertising slogans, and we often like to think of our Jesus as one who promises to bring peace, harmony, hope, happiness, love, joy.
But here Jesus says He's come, and He's brought a big sword, and He's going to turn people (your own family) against you!
What kind of a Jesus is that?! That's not the Jesus I want...
But it's the Jesus we have. Because He means following Him isn't going to be easy.
Later, it says,
"If anyone must follow me, He must take up His cross." I've talked about bearing crosses before. You can read about that here.
That's what Jesus means. Everyone has a cross to bear in this world. Mine is depression and other problems you are well aware of. Nobody goes through life without bearing a cross.
Jesus means that being with Him doesn't always mean perfection, perfect peace, harmony.
He had a cross to bear, the sin of the world, and we have our own crosses to bear.
However, the pastor ended the sermon by reminding us that a better slogan for Jesus is this:
"Jesus comes with a mighty two edged sword. And also with a peace that is even mightier."
There are crosses to bear in our lives, yes. But God always provides us the strength we need, and when we turn to Him, He provides that perfect peace.
I don't want a Jesus with a two edged sword.
I want a Jesus with a two edged sword who's also ready to fill me with His peace.
I found it kind of ironic that we also spoke together portions of Psalm 119- v. 157-158 tonight said this:
"Many are my persecutors and my adversaries, but I do not swerve from your testimonies.
I look at them with disgust because they do not keep your commands."
Yeah, I, like the Psalmist face many persecutors... but Jesus brings His perfect peace.
Isn't God awesome?! I just left worship tonight totally in awe. I'll probably be up at the crack of dawn and end up going again to my home church in the morning, but I still really enjoyed my experience this evening.
Yeah, I've got crosses to bear, but Jesus comes and brings peace, making it a little easier.
What about you? What are some crosses you face in your life? And how does Jesus bring His peace?
Blessings:
-Last night the dinner party was so much fun!
-I had a glass of wine (as ok'd by my psychiatrist) for the first time since September! (I'm not a real drinker, but I haven't been able to enjoy any wine at dinner parties I've been to...)
-Got a lot of small things accomplished today!
-Our last giant inflatable hippo had a hole, and I blew up a new one today!
-Started a new book- "Have a Little Faith" by Mitch Albom
-Worship tonight
-Being invited to come back to the church in August and play for all 3 of their weekend services! It's the largest church in our district! I am so excited!
-I was gluing a VBS poster this afternoon, and the bottle was plugged up. I squeezed really hard, and, well, the bottle exploded, and there was glue all over me, all over the poster, and all over our living room floor. Do you know what I did? I sat and laughed for a really, really long time. If this had happened last year, I probably would have gotten really upset and angry. I just laughed, cleaned up, didn't let it ruin my work or stop me. Made the situation so much better!
-Not being too nervous for tomorrow
-Out to eat after church with my parents
-And at the restaurant we randomly ran into my grandparents!
-Running into a girl I graduated with who I haven't seen since graduation day 4 years ago!
Please pray that my nerves don't act up, and everything goes well tomorrow!
Friday, June 24, 2011
Appreciate All of It
I'm happy to say today has been much better than yesterday!
I want to share a story with you:
I want to share a story with you:
One day, the father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to
the country with the express purpose of showing him how poor people
live.
They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be
considered a very poor family.
On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, "How was the
trip?"
"It was great, Dad."
"Did you see how poor people live?" the father asked.
"Oh yeah," said the son.
"So, tell me, what did you learn from the trip?" asked the father.
The son answered:
"I saw that we have one dog and they had four.
We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a
creek that has no end.
We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at
night.
Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon.
We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go
beyond our sight.
We have servants who serve us, but they serve others.
We buy our food, but they grow theirs.
We have walls around our property to protect us, they have friends to
protect them."
The boy's father was speechless.
Then his son added,? "Thanks Dad for showing me how poor we are."
Isn't perspective a wonderful thing? Makes you wonder what would happen
if we all gave thanks for everything we have, instead of worrying about
what we don't have and trying to make others miserable.
Appreciate every single thing you have.
I'm going to try and put my own perspective on things:Depression has made me realize how rich I am. And how blessed I am.
It's amazing. I was rather pretentious, boastful, careless, prayer-less before this all happened.
But I've realized I have more than I deserve.
There are a lot of people out there with health struggles.
Some have no help and suffer until they must face death. I was blessed to get medication and while there is no cure for depression, my condition has greatly improved.
Some people take going to class for granted, and while they're there they complain. I was blessed with the ability to still go (even though sometimes it seemed the hardest thing I would do.) Some people take that for granted. "I'm going to sleep in 2 of the 3 days of the week because he doesn't take attendance anyway." That always infuriated me. Did those who said things like that realize how much work I had to go through to get to class when I was in the wheelchair?
Some people haven't found Christ. I don't know how anyone comes out of depression without faith. I surely wouldn't be where I am today if it wasn't for my Savior by my side.
You know, the three who hate me, they really only have each other as friends. It's always the three of them together, and its a small, exclusive circle. I have hundreds of people I am proud to call my friend, and blessed to spend time and enjoy meals with hundreds of people. I'd take many, many friends over an exclusive, snooty few. Especially hundreds of friends who get pleasure from helping others and giving, and not putting others down and ignoring them.
I am so rich. Thank you, depression, for making me appreciate every single thing I have. Each is a blessing. Each is a gift from God.
Thursday, June 23, 2011
A Memo From God
I don't know if I've posted this before, but even if I did, it's worth posting again. Because of a very, very hectic day and a lot of things not going right, this is going to be short. But, this is a reminder I needed today, and every day. It is posted on my bedside at home, and on my mirror at school:
To : YOU
Date : TODAY
From : GOD
Subject : YOURSELF
Reference: LIFE
This is God. Today I will be handling All of your problems for you. I do Not need your help. So, have a nice day.
I love you. And, remember.... If life happens to deliver a situation to you that you cannot handle, do Not attempt to resolve it yourself! Kindly put it in the SFGTDbox. I will get to it in MY TIME. All situations will be resolved, but in My time, not yours. Once the matter is placed into the box, do not hold onto it by worrying about it.
Instead, focus on all the wonderful things that are present in your life now.
Date : TODAY
From : GOD
Subject : YOURSELF
Reference: LIFE
This is God. Today I will be handling All of your problems for you. I do Not need your help. So, have a nice day.
I love you. And, remember.... If life happens to deliver a situation to you that you cannot handle, do Not attempt to resolve it yourself! Kindly put it in the SFGTD
Instead, focus on all the wonderful things that are present in your life now.
Now, you have a nice day.
God
God
Today was crazy, and things didn't go according to my plan, but that doesn't mean I won't stop and count the blessings:
- I made these (both batter and frosting from scratch) for a dinner tomorrow evening:
-Mom found me a bookshelf for my classroom at a thrift store
-Enjoying a new book I started at work today
-Smiling even though others are complaining
-One day closer to the recital
-Got in a run this evening to blow off some stress
-The sun came out for the first time in 4 days!
-Cool summer breeze
PS- I will get around to leaving comments on blogs again soon! Sorry for my hiatus!
PS- I will get around to leaving comments on blogs again soon! Sorry for my hiatus!
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Yet This I Call To Mind
I wasn't going to blog today. Or the next few.
You see, life's a little hectic right now.
I'm juggling two jobs. I worked 8-4 at one and 6-10 at the other today. I'm wiped.
In between, I had a VBS meeting, which I am directing, and working so hard to prepare for.
Did I also mention I have a huge organ recital this weekend which I am trying to polish all my pieces for?
Yeah, it's been busy. And that's no excuse not to blog.
Because blogging is my time in response (often) to Scripture I've dug into, things I've been praying about, or things that have been on my mind.
And I've been so busy, I haven't had time to really meditate on God's greatness or His Word (as much as I was, anyway. I haven't totally given it up!)
But, anyway, tonight I was looking at Lamentations 3, by Jeremiah.
And you know, up to about verse 21, things are really depressing. He's got so much going wrong for him. He's swamped.
But then he sort of abruptly stops and says, "Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope..."
And then he reminds himself of this:
Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
I say to myself, “The LORD is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him.”
The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him,
to the one who seeks him
While yeah, my foot hurts, and yeah, things aren't totally perfect with my health, and yeah, I've still got friendship issues, I can't really complain because life is really good.
But I can relate to Jeremiah with that feeling when I was down- and now when I'm busy.
Because although I've got a lot of stuff going on, I can still say
"WAIT! Yet, this I call to mind..."
The Lord is GOOD to those whose hope is in Him...
No matter how down I am, no matter how busy I am, no matter how much I hurt, my prayer is that I always say:
"WAIT! Yet this I call to mind..."
So even in the midst of this chaos, I want to say,
"WAIT! Yet this I call to mind.... Here are my blessings:"
-Worked a lot and raked in a lot of hours and that means a lot of money in my pocket!
-Found out one of my profs had a baby; another is coming on board full time who I really really like and get along well with!
-Almost finished with another book
-A woman said this to me tonight at work, and I laughed for a really long time... "You look busier than a one legged man in a butt kicking contest."
-Many compliments on my new hair do
-Crawling into bed and sleeping so soundly till my alarm goes off- I love doing that!
You see, life's a little hectic right now.
I'm juggling two jobs. I worked 8-4 at one and 6-10 at the other today. I'm wiped.
In between, I had a VBS meeting, which I am directing, and working so hard to prepare for.
Did I also mention I have a huge organ recital this weekend which I am trying to polish all my pieces for?
Yeah, it's been busy. And that's no excuse not to blog.
Because blogging is my time in response (often) to Scripture I've dug into, things I've been praying about, or things that have been on my mind.
And I've been so busy, I haven't had time to really meditate on God's greatness or His Word (as much as I was, anyway. I haven't totally given it up!)
But, anyway, tonight I was looking at Lamentations 3, by Jeremiah.
And you know, up to about verse 21, things are really depressing. He's got so much going wrong for him. He's swamped.
But then he sort of abruptly stops and says, "Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope..."
And then he reminds himself of this:
Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
I say to myself, “The LORD is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him.”
The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him,
to the one who seeks him
While yeah, my foot hurts, and yeah, things aren't totally perfect with my health, and yeah, I've still got friendship issues, I can't really complain because life is really good.
But I can relate to Jeremiah with that feeling when I was down- and now when I'm busy.
Because although I've got a lot of stuff going on, I can still say
"WAIT! Yet, this I call to mind..."
The Lord is GOOD to those whose hope is in Him...
No matter how down I am, no matter how busy I am, no matter how much I hurt, my prayer is that I always say:
"WAIT! Yet this I call to mind..."
So even in the midst of this chaos, I want to say,
"WAIT! Yet this I call to mind.... Here are my blessings:"
-Worked a lot and raked in a lot of hours and that means a lot of money in my pocket!
-Found out one of my profs had a baby; another is coming on board full time who I really really like and get along well with!
-Almost finished with another book
-A woman said this to me tonight at work, and I laughed for a really long time... "You look busier than a one legged man in a butt kicking contest."
-Many compliments on my new hair do
-Crawling into bed and sleeping so soundly till my alarm goes off- I love doing that!
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Did I Ever Tell You How Blessed You Are?
Have you heard of the book, Did I Ever Tell You How Lucky You Are? by Dr. Seuss?
In the text, it is explained to the reader how fortunate they may be, even in hardships. Here's a brief excerpt:
When you think things are bad, when you feel sour and blue, when you start to get mad..... you should do what I do!
Just tell yourself, Duckie, you're really quite lucky! Some people are much more..... oh, ever so much more...... oh, muchly much-much more unlucky than you!
I decided I'd create my own version. Here you have, "Did I Ever Tell You How Blessed You Are?" (With apologies to Dr. Seuss)
When you think times are tough,
when the road ahead seems rough,
when life hurts the most,
You should do what I do!
Just tell yourself, "Stop that unrest!
You're really quite blessed!"
Just think of the many things that God does provide,
Remember His love, which is so far, and wide.
If trials come forward (believe me they will)
When the world around you is shaking and it's hard to be still,
When the thunder crashes and the rain pours down,
And all the pain you feel causes you to frown,
You should do what I do!
Just tell yourself, "Stop that unrest!
You're really quite blessed!"
When friends and family fail you (they're not perfect, they may)
And it's hard to see color because your world is grey,
When pain throbs your body- both inside and out,
And those times when you just want to sit and pout,
You should do what I do!
Just tell yourself, "Stop that unrest!
You're really quite blessed!"
Because, did I ever tell you how blessed you are?
If we sat down and made a list, it'd reach very far,
Take a deep breath, and look all around,
And you'll see that blessings -they sure do surround,
You'll notice God's faithfulness, He's always there for you,
It's easy to notice when you do what I do!
Just tell yourself, "Stop that unrest!
You're really,really quite blessed!"
In the text, it is explained to the reader how fortunate they may be, even in hardships. Here's a brief excerpt:
When you think things are bad, when you feel sour and blue, when you start to get mad..... you should do what I do!
Just tell yourself, Duckie, you're really quite lucky! Some people are much more..... oh, ever so much more...... oh, muchly much-much more unlucky than you!
I decided I'd create my own version. Here you have, "Did I Ever Tell You How Blessed You Are?" (With apologies to Dr. Seuss)
When you think times are tough,
when the road ahead seems rough,
when life hurts the most,
You should do what I do!
Just tell yourself, "Stop that unrest!
You're really quite blessed!"
Just think of the many things that God does provide,
Remember His love, which is so far, and wide.
If trials come forward (believe me they will)
When the world around you is shaking and it's hard to be still,
When the thunder crashes and the rain pours down,
And all the pain you feel causes you to frown,
You should do what I do!
Just tell yourself, "Stop that unrest!
You're really quite blessed!"
When friends and family fail you (they're not perfect, they may)
And it's hard to see color because your world is grey,
When pain throbs your body- both inside and out,
And those times when you just want to sit and pout,
You should do what I do!
Just tell yourself, "Stop that unrest!
You're really quite blessed!"
Because, did I ever tell you how blessed you are?
If we sat down and made a list, it'd reach very far,
Take a deep breath, and look all around,
And you'll see that blessings -they sure do surround,
You'll notice God's faithfulness, He's always there for you,
It's easy to notice when you do what I do!
Just tell yourself, "Stop that unrest!
You're really,really quite blessed!"
Monday, June 20, 2011
Get Rid of That Boat!
While visiting my Grandpa yesterday, the subject of boating came up (don't ask me how, because we are not interested in buying a boat at all).
Anyway, he said, "Well, you know how the old saying goes. When it comes to buying a boat, there are two happy days. The day he makes the purchase, and then an even happier day the day he sells it."
That quote meaning that boats are a real burden for some, taking care of it, hauling it, keeping it in good condition etc.
But I've been thinking about that quote.
What if we replaced "boat" with "joy." While maintaining joy is nothing like maintaining a boat, the same principle applies.
It's a good day when you receive joy,
but it's an even better day when you pass it on.
And I think the opposite goes for hurtful words, actions, ignorance.
It's a hard day when you receive persecution, hurtful words, negative actions.
It's an even harder day when you pass it on.
Giving away joy is far easier than giving away negativity.
Give it a try- share your blessings! I challenge you to find one person today (whatever day you read this on) and "get rid of that boat!" - Where you see negativity, fill the void with joy and your blessings.
And when you've done that, stop back here and let us know how it went!
What are you waiting for... get rid of that boat! Share the joy! It's an amazing feeling!
Blessings:
-No cavities today at my dental check-up!
-Only two of my wisdom teeth need to be extracted!
-Found out that I won't have 7:30 class every morning next year after all! Only two days of the week- the rest of the days we have afternoon/evening class! That means just a tad bit of extra sleep!
-Began a new book today
-Fresh baked chocolate chip cookies
-Meeting tonight for a project I'm helping with at a church.
Anyway, he said, "Well, you know how the old saying goes. When it comes to buying a boat, there are two happy days. The day he makes the purchase, and then an even happier day the day he sells it."
That quote meaning that boats are a real burden for some, taking care of it, hauling it, keeping it in good condition etc.
But I've been thinking about that quote.
What if we replaced "boat" with "joy." While maintaining joy is nothing like maintaining a boat, the same principle applies.
It's a good day when you receive joy,
but it's an even better day when you pass it on.
And I think the opposite goes for hurtful words, actions, ignorance.
It's a hard day when you receive persecution, hurtful words, negative actions.
It's an even harder day when you pass it on.
Giving away joy is far easier than giving away negativity.
As I've quoted a friend of mine saying many times, here it is again (because I am reminded of the quote):
To give, even if you have nothing, to share whatever you can, to be good to all the people in your life=the secret of happiness. The key word- to GIVE. Give it up, don't hang on to material things. Give of yourself, give your time , help others, give your heart to whomever needs it.
If you have joy, share it! You won't lose it, but rather, you'll double it!
If you have negativity, give it up! Don't hang on! That's like getting rid of the boat- it's a great feeling to give it up to God and let it go! Move on with your life!
Give it a try- share your blessings! I challenge you to find one person today (whatever day you read this on) and "get rid of that boat!" - Where you see negativity, fill the void with joy and your blessings.
And when you've done that, stop back here and let us know how it went!
What are you waiting for... get rid of that boat! Share the joy! It's an amazing feeling!
Blessings:
-No cavities today at my dental check-up!
-Only two of my wisdom teeth need to be extracted!
-Found out that I won't have 7:30 class every morning next year after all! Only two days of the week- the rest of the days we have afternoon/evening class! That means just a tad bit of extra sleep!
-Began a new book today
-Fresh baked chocolate chip cookies
-Meeting tonight for a project I'm helping with at a church.
Sunday, June 19, 2011
What's So Great About God?
Worship this morning was fantastic! As it was Trinity Sunday, the sermon was about God's greatness.
After all, what's so great about God?
In an age where technological advances surround us, disaster abounds, troubles assail us, and problems often outweigh blessings, it's easy for anyone to throw up their hands and say, "What's so great about God?"
I liked the story that was told.
One day, St. Augustine was walking around trying to understand God's power, abilities, and greatness. He was on the beach, and he noticed a little boy. The little boy had dug a hole in the sand and was going back and forth from the sea to his hole. He would fill his bucket, carry the water to his hole, and so on.
St. Augustine said, "Little boy, what are you doing?" To which the little boy responded, "I'm trying to empty the sea into this hole."
Augustine realized that is exactly what he was trying to do- to understand God's greatness is like trying to empty a big ocean into a small hole. Impossible.
What's so great about God?
In the midst of suffering from depression, anxiety disorder, OCD, a fractured foot, panic attacks, dehydration, a foot severely wounded with a sharp nail, I know I've said time and time again,
"What's so great about God?"
"You know, I've got problems, a lot, and God expects me to praise Him, and worship His greatness even through all this? What's so great about God when I've got all these problems?"
Sounds selfish, doesn't it?
There's where the ocean story comes in- I don't understand or comprehend His greatness or His ability to heal and show abundance.
What's so great about God?
Let me tell you.
God is a healer. God is faithful. God sees His people through some of their toughest times.
God never gives up.
God walks in when the rest of the world walks out.
God never stops loving you. Ever.
God provides far more blessings every day than what we deserve.
Even when we don't see them, or when we are stubborn and only dwell on the negative, God still blesses us. Isn't that great?
As was appropriate, I got to play this hymn before the sermon. The singing gave me the chills!
(Speaking of that hymn, I'm playing this arrangement at my recital in ONE WEEK!)
The biggest blessing we have about God is that He saves us sinners. He's in the business of saving His people. He gives us, ultimately, life eternal.
And that's what's so great about God.
Blessings:
-We also got to sing this today (although they really janked up the lyrics- blessed TRINITY!)
-Maple glazed donuts at Bible class
-An amazing Pastor friend of mine was our guest liturgist and preacher this morning. He did outstanding!
-Great children's message illustration
-Realizing my recital is in one week!
-Visiting my Grandpas for Father's day.
-Hair-cut and new hair-do (for the first time in years!)
-Smiling
-Realizing just how great God is.
After all, what's so great about God?
In an age where technological advances surround us, disaster abounds, troubles assail us, and problems often outweigh blessings, it's easy for anyone to throw up their hands and say, "What's so great about God?"
I liked the story that was told.
One day, St. Augustine was walking around trying to understand God's power, abilities, and greatness. He was on the beach, and he noticed a little boy. The little boy had dug a hole in the sand and was going back and forth from the sea to his hole. He would fill his bucket, carry the water to his hole, and so on.
St. Augustine said, "Little boy, what are you doing?" To which the little boy responded, "I'm trying to empty the sea into this hole."
Augustine realized that is exactly what he was trying to do- to understand God's greatness is like trying to empty a big ocean into a small hole. Impossible.
What's so great about God?
In the midst of suffering from depression, anxiety disorder, OCD, a fractured foot, panic attacks, dehydration, a foot severely wounded with a sharp nail, I know I've said time and time again,
"What's so great about God?"
"You know, I've got problems, a lot, and God expects me to praise Him, and worship His greatness even through all this? What's so great about God when I've got all these problems?"
Sounds selfish, doesn't it?
There's where the ocean story comes in- I don't understand or comprehend His greatness or His ability to heal and show abundance.
What's so great about God?
Let me tell you.
God is a healer. God is faithful. God sees His people through some of their toughest times.
God never gives up.
God walks in when the rest of the world walks out.
God never stops loving you. Ever.
God provides far more blessings every day than what we deserve.
Even when we don't see them, or when we are stubborn and only dwell on the negative, God still blesses us. Isn't that great?
As was appropriate, I got to play this hymn before the sermon. The singing gave me the chills!
(Speaking of that hymn, I'm playing this arrangement at my recital in ONE WEEK!)
The biggest blessing we have about God is that He saves us sinners. He's in the business of saving His people. He gives us, ultimately, life eternal.
And that's what's so great about God.
Blessings:
-We also got to sing this today (although they really janked up the lyrics- blessed TRINITY!)
-Maple glazed donuts at Bible class
-An amazing Pastor friend of mine was our guest liturgist and preacher this morning. He did outstanding!
-Great children's message illustration
-Realizing my recital is in one week!
-Visiting my Grandpas for Father's day.
-Hair-cut and new hair-do (for the first time in years!)
-Smiling
-Realizing just how great God is.
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Hurting Ends and Loving Begins
I called in sick from work today.
I couldn't put any weight on my foot whatsoever. And I knew bussing tables wasn't going to happen for a wedding reception for 8 hours. Thankfully, my boss understood.
I am in a tremendous amount of pain- so far it looks like there is no infection, but when a nail goes several inches into your foot, some serious damage is done. Ouch!!! I unwrapped it a while today to give it some air. Not going to take a picture to spare those of you with a weak stomach.
Thanks for the prayers...
As I referenced several times, I just finished reading A Place Called Blessing by Dr. John Trent. (I highly, highly recommend you go out and buy this book now- find it and read it, once you start, you will be hooked and it will blow your mind.)
*SPOILER ALERT*
While I will try not to give too much of the plot away, if you're interested/plan on reading this book and don't want anything suspicious, then stop reading here because I might give some things away. (But I will try my best not too). If you don't want to know more, skip to the starred line below. Below there, I don't give anything away.
The author of this book, Dr. Trent, accidentally kills his best friend in childhood. A small girl.
That dark secret taunts him for the rest of his life. He has to live with it. And so does the family of the small girl.
But the family of the small girl forgives John. In fact, they welcome him into their home.
And that made me think, if someone can be so forgiving, to forgive a boy who killed their daughter, why is it so hard for me to forgive people sometimes? And why is it so hard for individuals to forgive me for being sick?
Why don't we all chose to live life choosing blessings?
Sometimes, life hurts. Life has hurt for me in the last nine months. Life hurt for the author.
But he wound up at a place called blessing- where his hurting ended and loving began.
And I've wound up in my own place called blessing- the cross. Every time I read a devotional, dive into scripture, pray, or sing hymns, I'm at the cross. And all hurting ends, and loving begins.
And I wish people would join me there.
*************************************************************
Here is an audio version of the introduction and first chapter. See what you think...
Whether you've read the book or not, whether you plan to read the book or not, my hope, and my challenge for you is this:
-Choose blessings over curses: When someone wrongs against you, forgive. Give to them. Turn the other cheek. Chose to be blessed instead of frustrated or angry. Don't call them names, curse at them, hold grudges, hatred, malice, bitterness. Let it go. Go to the place called blessing and your hurting will end and loving will begin. Reconcile- don't wait until it's too late. It takes a lot of energy to hate, avoid, speak poorly of, glare at someone who you may have differences with. It can cause so much unwanted hurt in your life. Chose to go to the place called blessing and abandon your hurts, your hatred. Chose to love, and you will find loving in return.
-Choose light over darkness: When things go wrong in your life, when you are experiencing difficulty, hardship, pain, health problems, financial issues, stress, pressure, persecution, chose light. Chose to bask in God's glory, don't give into Satan. Don't complain about what's wrong. Don't dwell on the negative. Find the positive. Live your life in light- celebrate God's blessings. Your hurting from the difficulty will subside when you focus on God's blessings. Remember the Hair Story? Live every day like you are celebrating the fact you don't have any hair.
At the conference I attended, we were taught a simple song to teach children. It goes like this:
(sung to the tune of "Are You Sleeping?")
It's a new day, (It's a new day)
Given by God (Given by God)
Join the celebration (Join the celebration)
Sing His Praise (Sing His Praise)
-Choose life over death: Chose to love rather than hate, chose to be positive rather than negative, chose to live with Christ rather than Satan, and you are choosing to live the blessing. When you choose to live the blessing, you'll find that hurting ends and loving begins.
While Christ does not promise us a life free of hurting and pain, He does promise He will comfort us, heal us, and never leave us or forsake us (Heb. 13:5).
Chose to wake up each day and live in the blessing. I have. It has changed my life.
And I know it will change yours too.
Blessings (sorry, yesterday I was tired from pain pills and didn't have the energy to write blessings)
-An understanding boss
-Invitation to give ANOTHER recital next summer for a centennial celebration next summer
-I practiced today for tomorrow's worship services. This is one of the hymns that we're singing during communion, and I've had it stuck in my head all day.
-Finishing two books and starting on a third! I love reading!
-Making fresh raspberry iced tea
-Warm raspberry pastry with cream cheese icing for breakfast
-A lie-in and a nap!
-Choosing to live in the blessing!
I couldn't put any weight on my foot whatsoever. And I knew bussing tables wasn't going to happen for a wedding reception for 8 hours. Thankfully, my boss understood.
I am in a tremendous amount of pain- so far it looks like there is no infection, but when a nail goes several inches into your foot, some serious damage is done. Ouch!!! I unwrapped it a while today to give it some air. Not going to take a picture to spare those of you with a weak stomach.
Thanks for the prayers...
As I referenced several times, I just finished reading A Place Called Blessing by Dr. John Trent. (I highly, highly recommend you go out and buy this book now- find it and read it, once you start, you will be hooked and it will blow your mind.)
*SPOILER ALERT*
While I will try not to give too much of the plot away, if you're interested/plan on reading this book and don't want anything suspicious, then stop reading here because I might give some things away. (But I will try my best not too). If you don't want to know more, skip to the starred line below. Below there, I don't give anything away.
The author of this book, Dr. Trent, accidentally kills his best friend in childhood. A small girl.
That dark secret taunts him for the rest of his life. He has to live with it. And so does the family of the small girl.
But the family of the small girl forgives John. In fact, they welcome him into their home.
And that made me think, if someone can be so forgiving, to forgive a boy who killed their daughter, why is it so hard for me to forgive people sometimes? And why is it so hard for individuals to forgive me for being sick?
Why don't we all chose to live life choosing blessings?
Sometimes, life hurts. Life has hurt for me in the last nine months. Life hurt for the author.
But he wound up at a place called blessing- where his hurting ended and loving began.
And I've wound up in my own place called blessing- the cross. Every time I read a devotional, dive into scripture, pray, or sing hymns, I'm at the cross. And all hurting ends, and loving begins.
And I wish people would join me there.
*************************************************************
Here is an audio version of the introduction and first chapter. See what you think...
Whether you've read the book or not, whether you plan to read the book or not, my hope, and my challenge for you is this:
-Choose blessings over curses: When someone wrongs against you, forgive. Give to them. Turn the other cheek. Chose to be blessed instead of frustrated or angry. Don't call them names, curse at them, hold grudges, hatred, malice, bitterness. Let it go. Go to the place called blessing and your hurting will end and loving will begin. Reconcile- don't wait until it's too late. It takes a lot of energy to hate, avoid, speak poorly of, glare at someone who you may have differences with. It can cause so much unwanted hurt in your life. Chose to go to the place called blessing and abandon your hurts, your hatred. Chose to love, and you will find loving in return.
-Choose light over darkness: When things go wrong in your life, when you are experiencing difficulty, hardship, pain, health problems, financial issues, stress, pressure, persecution, chose light. Chose to bask in God's glory, don't give into Satan. Don't complain about what's wrong. Don't dwell on the negative. Find the positive. Live your life in light- celebrate God's blessings. Your hurting from the difficulty will subside when you focus on God's blessings. Remember the Hair Story? Live every day like you are celebrating the fact you don't have any hair.
At the conference I attended, we were taught a simple song to teach children. It goes like this:
(sung to the tune of "Are You Sleeping?")
It's a new day, (It's a new day)
Given by God (Given by God)
Join the celebration (Join the celebration)
Sing His Praise (Sing His Praise)
-Choose life over death: Chose to love rather than hate, chose to be positive rather than negative, chose to live with Christ rather than Satan, and you are choosing to live the blessing. When you choose to live the blessing, you'll find that hurting ends and loving begins.
While Christ does not promise us a life free of hurting and pain, He does promise He will comfort us, heal us, and never leave us or forsake us (Heb. 13:5).
Chose to wake up each day and live in the blessing. I have. It has changed my life.
And I know it will change yours too.
Blessings (sorry, yesterday I was tired from pain pills and didn't have the energy to write blessings)
-An understanding boss
-Invitation to give ANOTHER recital next summer for a centennial celebration next summer
-I practiced today for tomorrow's worship services. This is one of the hymns that we're singing during communion, and I've had it stuck in my head all day.
-Finishing two books and starting on a third! I love reading!
-Making fresh raspberry iced tea
-Warm raspberry pastry with cream cheese icing for breakfast
-A lie-in and a nap!
-Choosing to live in the blessing!
Unveiling A New Portion...
Here's the next portion to the book I'm writing. If you missed the first few pages, you can read them here., or you can check in there if you need to jog your memory. The paragraph below picks up right where the last one left off. Again, your opinions/criticisms/questions are gladly welcomed...
I had to tell someone, although I was humiliated, and I felt as though I would be judged. On the way to a bonfire, I decided to disclose the information to an individual I considered one of my friends. I simply spewed something out like “I think I have depression.”
I don’t remember the direction the conversation took, but his response was something like “That stinks man, I’m sorry to hear that. Thanks for telling me.” When we arrived at the bonfire, the conversation was light and so was the breeze that decorated the air. It was the perfect evening. I forgot about my concern with having depression and enjoyed a fun evening.
We went star tripping. It was my first time. I don’t know that I’ll ever forget the sounds of the laughter or the feeling of laying beside close friends afterward and gazing into the dark sky. I won’t ever forget it because it was one of the last nights I would have as a “normal” individual.
I awoke the next morning around 6:30 AM to be ready to greet the author I was hosting for the day- Patricia Polacco. I knew very little about her, I had read one or two of her books, but I had heard nothing but good things. I’ll never forget how welcome and instantly encouraged I felt being in her presence.
I sat next to her as she autographed books for fans, while in between we conversed and got to know each other. I knew that even after a brief period of time, I had made a new friend. I escorted Patricia to the location where she would speak. On the way we continued our conversation and I became even more eager to hear this woman speak.
Within only a few minutes of her presentation, I was hooked, and it didn’t take long before I was in tears. Patricia made me realize that I had chosen the correct vocation- to be a teacher. As she told stories of teachers who had made a difference in her life, and described the power teachers have to impact the lives of their students, the tears continued to stream down my face.
There are so many details I remember in the days preceding my life-changing event. One of them is the feeling of empowerment that Patricia lightened up within me. She told so many stories of what she had overcome, and it was encouraging to me. Whenever I am feeling especially down, I still cling to some of the things she said.
That evening was amazing. I got to hear Patricia speak again, and hear Carmen Agra Deedy, another of my favorite authors speak. I laughed so hard. I still sing one of her songs regularly. It’s another one of those memories I still have of that weekend.
The next morning is quite a blur. But it was a morning that would change my life forever- October 10, 2011.
I was attending the 11:00 church service across the street from campus. I remember the hymn that was playing- “Praise to the Lord, the Almighty.” It was around the second verse that I lost consciousness. My legs felt like jell-o and begin wobbling. My knees could no longer hold up and I fell backward onto the pew.
“Dylan, do you need to leave?” my friend whispered. “Uh huh.” I muttered. I knew something was wrong. She and her boyfriend holstered me up on their arms and carried me out of church. Many congregation members looked on with a deep concern in their eyes. Since we were sitting so close to the front of the church, many people had seen me black out and go down.
They tried to carry my limp body out of church and across campus. I am not sure that anyone really knew what to do with me. By the time I had made it a few yards out of the church and onto campus, other friends had noticed I was having difficulty and inquired about my condition. Part of me knew it had something to do with my mental health, but I wasn’t about to let on to anyone that I had anything wrong with me. I just told everyone that I was having trouble walking.
As we progressed further, with the campus center our aim, I remember blacking out totally and my back hitting the cement. I don’t know how, because my memory is so vague, but the next thing I remember is waking up in the lobby of the campus center with a gnarled apple in one hand and cup of iceless water in the other, obviously snagged from the cafeteria downstairs.
Though I don’t remember exactly what happened, I was told that I was conscious and talking as they picked me up off of the sidewalk and brought me to the campus center. I was being drilled with questions from friends who were trying their hardest to help me. I reassured everyone was fine; no trip to the hospital was necessary, and I was certain that once I deposited some food into my stomach, I would feel better. I insisted we head down to eat lunch.
I remember feeling everyone’s eyes glued on me as I was holstered into the cafeteria. It’s not every day that a fellow student is practically carried to a table. Even more individuals came up and asked what was wrong. I felt a strong sense of discomfort and annoyance, because I didn’t have an answer to give anyone. I just said I had fainted and wasn’t feeling up to walking on my own. I knew more was wrong, but how did I begin to describe it to someone?
I should probably explain what I was feeling- or rather, what I wasn’t feeling. There seemed to be a major disconnect between my feet and my mind. My mind was forcefully bellowing “MOVE!!!” to my feet, and my feet were not obeying the command. No matter how hard I tried, no matter what I did, the feet would just scoot along. It was impossible to pick up my legs, and every movement was harder than the one before. I was scared. It felt like I was partially paralyzed.
The trek from the campus center up the hill and into my room was long and difficult. As I had hoped, food was not the solution to the problem. I knew something was seriously wrong, but how was I supposed to tell anyone? It’s not like people pass out on a regular basis and then can’t walk. It was such an unusual problem that I was afraid to let on I had other suspicions.
I felt bad for “ruining” everyone’s morning as I kept saying. I apologized an enormous amount of times for working everyone up and wasting their time. Being the good friends they were, I was corrected and told that I hadn’t ruined anyone’s morning and everyone was happy to help.
I couldn’t help but wonder, “How long are they going to be willing to help?” I dismissed the idea, because I was certain this problem would be but a memory tomorrow and everyone would be able to resume the normalcy of their day to day routines. I kept reminding myself that I would see a counselor tomorrow, hoping she would provide answers and tell me this is a reaction to a mental problem I have.
My friends insisted that they spend the afternoon at my side. I am sure they did it out of fear. I wasn’t comfortable staying alone; and they weren’t comfortable letting me stay alone. There were about five of us who crammed onto my futon, kicked back, and popped in a few discs of Seinfeld reruns. It was enough to pass the long hours of the Sunday afternoon. As the time passed, more and more friends found their way into my room and we all decided we would head back over to the church for a BBQ they were hosting for college students.
Friday, June 17, 2011
No Longer Alone, No Longer Afraid
I've done it again.
I've managed to injure myself again.
This morning, I was helping with some yard work. Last summer, our garage was re-roofed. Somehow, a rusty nail was laying on our yard. I tripped over our garden hose, and I was wearing flip flops.
Well, I probably don't have to tell you the rest of the story. The rusty nail ended up being lodged up my left heel. Without thinking, I screamed, and ripped it out.
OUCH!
I think I last had a tetanus shot before entering college, so I think I'm alright. But in the mean time, I am in a lot of pain. A LOT of pain.
Please pray that it doesn't get infected and that the pain subsides soon.
......
A session I attended Wednesday was on Literacy instruction. As a part of the session, the presenter read Thank You, Mr. Falker by Patricia Polacco, who has become a dear friend of mine.
While I know and love the story, I caught so many striking similarities. The story is about Patricia's endeavor as a little school girl. She had Dyslexia and didn't know it. She was made fun of, tormented, teased, and bullied by others because she was different. I want to share a few excerpts...
"Then, one day, she had to stand up and read, which she hated. She was stumbling through a page... and the page was going all fuzzy when the kids began to laugh out loud.
Mr. Falker.... said, "Stop! Are all of you so perfect that you can look at another person and find fault with her?
That was the last day that anyone laughed out loud. Or made fun of her. All except Eric. He had sat behind Trisha for two whole years, but he seemed to almost hate her. Trisha didn't know why.
Trisha was afraid to turn any corner, for fear Eric would be there. She felt completely alone...
He got all the other kids to wait for her on the playground, or in the cafeteria, or even in the bathroom, and to jump out and call her "Stupid!" or "Ugly!"
And Trisha began to believe them......
Skip a few pages...
But Mr. Falker caught her arm and sank to his knees in front of her.... "How awful for you to be so lonely and afraid."
She sobbed.
"But, little one, don't you understand, you don't see letters or numbers the way other people do. And you've gotten through school all this time...." He smiled at her. "That took cunning, and smartness, and such, such bravery."
As the story ends, Patricia becomes a reader. And now, a world-renowned author who I am proud to call a new friend of mine.
Those few paragraphs of the amazing story are so relatable for me.
To be bullied, ignored, outcast, treated poorly because I am different than someone else. As I mentioned yesterday, I'm not crazy, but a certain 3 individuals had me believing I was. Their words, their ignorance, their intolerance of people different from them made me feel so low. Like I was crazy. And I felt completely alone.
But I've grown so much from the terrible experience. As Patricia had Mr. Falker, I had many, many other caring friends and professors, and my Savior Jesus, who stooped down beside me and said, "You poor thing... How terrible for you to be completely alone and afraid."
And they all said "You're lovable. In my eyes, and especially in God's eyes."
And they all said "You survived 8 months of school with an illness that makes life unbearable for most people. That took such, such bravery. Well done."
And now I look forward. The bullies will still be there. But I no longer feel alone. I no longer feel afraid.
Because, I can do this. This is not too hard for me.
I am lovable (loved). Especially in God's eyes.
I've managed to injure myself again.
This morning, I was helping with some yard work. Last summer, our garage was re-roofed. Somehow, a rusty nail was laying on our yard. I tripped over our garden hose, and I was wearing flip flops.
Well, I probably don't have to tell you the rest of the story. The rusty nail ended up being lodged up my left heel. Without thinking, I screamed, and ripped it out.
OUCH!
I think I last had a tetanus shot before entering college, so I think I'm alright. But in the mean time, I am in a lot of pain. A LOT of pain.
Please pray that it doesn't get infected and that the pain subsides soon.
......
A session I attended Wednesday was on Literacy instruction. As a part of the session, the presenter read Thank You, Mr. Falker by Patricia Polacco, who has become a dear friend of mine.
While I know and love the story, I caught so many striking similarities. The story is about Patricia's endeavor as a little school girl. She had Dyslexia and didn't know it. She was made fun of, tormented, teased, and bullied by others because she was different. I want to share a few excerpts...
"Then, one day, she had to stand up and read, which she hated. She was stumbling through a page... and the page was going all fuzzy when the kids began to laugh out loud.
Mr. Falker.... said, "Stop! Are all of you so perfect that you can look at another person and find fault with her?
That was the last day that anyone laughed out loud. Or made fun of her. All except Eric. He had sat behind Trisha for two whole years, but he seemed to almost hate her. Trisha didn't know why.
Trisha was afraid to turn any corner, for fear Eric would be there. She felt completely alone...
He got all the other kids to wait for her on the playground, or in the cafeteria, or even in the bathroom, and to jump out and call her "Stupid!" or "Ugly!"
And Trisha began to believe them......
Skip a few pages...
But Mr. Falker caught her arm and sank to his knees in front of her.... "How awful for you to be so lonely and afraid."
She sobbed.
"But, little one, don't you understand, you don't see letters or numbers the way other people do. And you've gotten through school all this time...." He smiled at her. "That took cunning, and smartness, and such, such bravery."
As the story ends, Patricia becomes a reader. And now, a world-renowned author who I am proud to call a new friend of mine.
Those few paragraphs of the amazing story are so relatable for me.
To be bullied, ignored, outcast, treated poorly because I am different than someone else. As I mentioned yesterday, I'm not crazy, but a certain 3 individuals had me believing I was. Their words, their ignorance, their intolerance of people different from them made me feel so low. Like I was crazy. And I felt completely alone.
But I've grown so much from the terrible experience. As Patricia had Mr. Falker, I had many, many other caring friends and professors, and my Savior Jesus, who stooped down beside me and said, "You poor thing... How terrible for you to be completely alone and afraid."
And they all said "You're lovable. In my eyes, and especially in God's eyes."
And they all said "You survived 8 months of school with an illness that makes life unbearable for most people. That took such, such bravery. Well done."
And now I look forward. The bullies will still be there. But I no longer feel alone. I no longer feel afraid.
Because, I can do this. This is not too hard for me.
I am lovable (loved). Especially in God's eyes.
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Stuck on Repeat
As I mentioned yesterday, we had a wonderful speaker at our luncheon.
The speaker gave us two mantras that she remembers when life hurts and brings her down. While she directed them toward teaching ministry, she also said they apply in all aspects of our lives:
"I can do this. This is not too hard for me."
"I am lovable. Especially in God's eyes."
Those two phrases can get us through a lot if we believe in ourselves.
The first reminds me of something I heard (and I may have quoted before:
"Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right."
Attitude is everything, as I've said before. If I tell myself I can make it through the next hardship, whatever it may be, then I can most definitely get through it.
Changing medications and getting over the sickness that comes with it?
I can do it. It's not too hard for me.
Overcoming whatever the road of life brings next?
I can do it. It's not too hard for me.
Overcoming the dehydration and dizziness, even if it persists?
I can do it. It's not too hard for me.
Surviving further persecution?
I can do it. It's not too hard for me.
Staying healthy?
I can do it. It's not too hard for me.
Being loveable? That quote didn't take long to sink in as something hurtful happened yesterday in the waiting room of my psychiatrist's office.
I was waiting to go in, and another patient was across from me in the waiting room. She was talking to me non-stop about the moon, going on and on. I wasn't sure which mental illness she had, but it was apparent she had something.
Anyway, I sort of tuned her out, and then she said, "I'm talking about the moon so much, you probably think I'm crazy. Well, you're probably crazy too, that's why you're here to see a doctor."
I was really hurt. It may not have been her fault, if she doesn't have control over what she always says, but it still stung.
I may have some problems, but I'm not crazy.
And even though I have problems, I am lovable. Especially in God's eyes.
I've done some wrong as a result of my illness.
But I'm lovable. Especially in God's eyes.
People hate me because of my illness.
But I'm lovable. Especially in God's eyes.
I may not be perfect.
But I'm lovable. Especially in God's eyes.
And you know what?
Whoever you are reading this?
You can do anything. Nothing is too hard for you.
You are lovable. Especially in God's eyes.
Don't ever forget either of those things. Keep them in your head. Stuck on repeat.
The speaker gave us two mantras that she remembers when life hurts and brings her down. While she directed them toward teaching ministry, she also said they apply in all aspects of our lives:
"I can do this. This is not too hard for me."
"I am lovable. Especially in God's eyes."
Those two phrases can get us through a lot if we believe in ourselves.
The first reminds me of something I heard (and I may have quoted before:
"Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right."
Attitude is everything, as I've said before. If I tell myself I can make it through the next hardship, whatever it may be, then I can most definitely get through it.
Changing medications and getting over the sickness that comes with it?
I can do it. It's not too hard for me.
Overcoming whatever the road of life brings next?
I can do it. It's not too hard for me.
Overcoming the dehydration and dizziness, even if it persists?
I can do it. It's not too hard for me.
Surviving further persecution?
I can do it. It's not too hard for me.
Staying healthy?
I can do it. It's not too hard for me.
Being loveable? That quote didn't take long to sink in as something hurtful happened yesterday in the waiting room of my psychiatrist's office.
I was waiting to go in, and another patient was across from me in the waiting room. She was talking to me non-stop about the moon, going on and on. I wasn't sure which mental illness she had, but it was apparent she had something.
Anyway, I sort of tuned her out, and then she said, "I'm talking about the moon so much, you probably think I'm crazy. Well, you're probably crazy too, that's why you're here to see a doctor."
I was really hurt. It may not have been her fault, if she doesn't have control over what she always says, but it still stung.
I may have some problems, but I'm not crazy.
And even though I have problems, I am lovable. Especially in God's eyes.
I've done some wrong as a result of my illness.
But I'm lovable. Especially in God's eyes.
People hate me because of my illness.
But I'm lovable. Especially in God's eyes.
I may not be perfect.
But I'm lovable. Especially in God's eyes.
And you know what?
Whoever you are reading this?
You can do anything. Nothing is too hard for you.
You are lovable. Especially in God's eyes.
Don't ever forget either of those things. Keep them in your head. Stuck on repeat.
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Thinking of His Arms
Today was amazing. Amazing doesn't seem fit to describe it, but it was a wonderful day.
I was at a conference the majority of the day working and learning with hundreds of other colleagues in the field of early childhood education.
I also got to visit and attend sectionals with my co-op teacher for the fall! We agree on so much and get along so well together!
Anyway- my God-given gifts and vocations were reaffirmed today. I love working with young children, I love literacy, and I love sharing Jesus through all of it. I cannot wait to be a teacher!
There are a few things I want to reflect on, but one of the most powerful happened during the luncheon speaker.
I want you, readers, to close your eyes for a moment. Picture Jesus, when the little children gathered around Him. Some hanging on his arms, some pulling on his tunic, others messing with his beard. Think of how Jesus reacts.
Now think of how Jesus reacted when sinners gathered around Him- He didn't turn them away. He sat with them. Ate with them. Welcomed them.
Now, (I guess you can't really close your eyes and read, can you?) Keeping your eyes closed, think of someone who has wronged you. Someone you have lost patience with. Given up on. Someone who hurt you. Who gets on your nerves. Who you can't stand.
Now, think of this person sitting along Jesus, like the children. How would Jesus respond to this individual? How did you respond to the individual? Was it the way Jesus would have?
Did you welcome the individual? Did you open your arms wide and offer empathy and forgiveness?
Anyone in His arms receives love, mercy, compassion, encouragement and forgiveness.
And so does anyone that comes into your arms. Family member. Friend. Neighbor. Coworker. Classmate. Regardless of what they did to you or made you mad, respond in the way you think Jesus would.
It makes me think of WWJD- What would Jesus do?
We should ask- How would this person look in Jesus' arms? Love the individual as though they are wrapped in His arms- because, we are called to be imitators of God.
We are Jesus with skin on- we become His hands and feet.
And what does it look like when we turn others away or bully others?
Blessings (it's gonna be long today!)
-Safe travels
-Seeing my co-op
-Seeing my professor friend
-Seeing other colleagues
-An amazing keynote speaker
-Stopped and picked up a few books at the book fair
-An amazing luncheon
-A new song to greet the mornings
-Book recommendations
-A whole session on LITERACY!
-A session on Science that had me in tears of laughter
-So many new ideas and thoughts
-Reaffirmation of my talents and vocation!
-My mom had a minor same-day surgery today and it went well! She is recovering well! Praise God!
-Seeing my doctor
-Results- I am getting medications switched
-I am doing so well that one of my dosages can be bumped down just a very little bit!
-Safe travels back home
-Casserole from Grandma
-My parent's anniversary gift finally came
-Ah! I am just so excited and so thrilled with life right now!
Please keep me in your prayers as getting off one medication and on to another is never easy. But I can do it. I've endured it 5 times now.
In the next few days, here's a preview of some of my posts
-Reflections on other quotes from the conference
-Reflections on the book I've been referring to
-More pages from the novel I'm writing
-As always, BLESSINGS! :D
God is so GOOD!
I was at a conference the majority of the day working and learning with hundreds of other colleagues in the field of early childhood education.
I also got to visit and attend sectionals with my co-op teacher for the fall! We agree on so much and get along so well together!
Anyway- my God-given gifts and vocations were reaffirmed today. I love working with young children, I love literacy, and I love sharing Jesus through all of it. I cannot wait to be a teacher!
There are a few things I want to reflect on, but one of the most powerful happened during the luncheon speaker.
I want you, readers, to close your eyes for a moment. Picture Jesus, when the little children gathered around Him. Some hanging on his arms, some pulling on his tunic, others messing with his beard. Think of how Jesus reacts.
Now think of how Jesus reacted when sinners gathered around Him- He didn't turn them away. He sat with them. Ate with them. Welcomed them.
Now, (I guess you can't really close your eyes and read, can you?) Keeping your eyes closed, think of someone who has wronged you. Someone you have lost patience with. Given up on. Someone who hurt you. Who gets on your nerves. Who you can't stand.
Now, think of this person sitting along Jesus, like the children. How would Jesus respond to this individual? How did you respond to the individual? Was it the way Jesus would have?
Did you welcome the individual? Did you open your arms wide and offer empathy and forgiveness?
Anyone in His arms receives love, mercy, compassion, encouragement and forgiveness.
And so does anyone that comes into your arms. Family member. Friend. Neighbor. Coworker. Classmate. Regardless of what they did to you or made you mad, respond in the way you think Jesus would.
It makes me think of WWJD- What would Jesus do?
We should ask- How would this person look in Jesus' arms? Love the individual as though they are wrapped in His arms- because, we are called to be imitators of God.
We are Jesus with skin on- we become His hands and feet.
And what does it look like when we turn others away or bully others?
Blessings (it's gonna be long today!)
-Safe travels
-Seeing my co-op
-Seeing my professor friend
-Seeing other colleagues
-An amazing keynote speaker
-Stopped and picked up a few books at the book fair
-An amazing luncheon
-A new song to greet the mornings
-Book recommendations
-A whole session on LITERACY!
-A session on Science that had me in tears of laughter
-So many new ideas and thoughts
-Reaffirmation of my talents and vocation!
-My mom had a minor same-day surgery today and it went well! She is recovering well! Praise God!
-Seeing my doctor
-Results- I am getting medications switched
-I am doing so well that one of my dosages can be bumped down just a very little bit!
-Safe travels back home
-Casserole from Grandma
-My parent's anniversary gift finally came
-Ah! I am just so excited and so thrilled with life right now!
Please keep me in your prayers as getting off one medication and on to another is never easy. But I can do it. I've endured it 5 times now.
In the next few days, here's a preview of some of my posts
-Reflections on other quotes from the conference
-Reflections on the book I've been referring to
-More pages from the novel I'm writing
-As always, BLESSINGS! :D
God is so GOOD!
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Sometimes It's All That You Have Left
"When you have lost hope, you have lost everything. And when you think all is lost, when all is dire and bleak, there is always hope."
That quote is from Pittacus Lore in the book I Am Number Four. While it is in no way a spiritual endeavor or read, it is a good book (a fantasy about aliens).
But I loved that quote.
Hope was what got me through the last 5 days of waiting to hear from the doctor.
Praise God. The phone rang today.
My doctor's big jovial voice greeted me with a GOOD REPORT!
My problems are not serious and can be corrected by switching medications!
The best thing is- it came in perfect timing, as I have an appt. with my psychiatrist tomorrow afternoon!
GOD IS SO GOOD! While switching meds will be a trial, since these are working so well, it will eliminate other health hazards and risks.
THANK YOU ALL for the prayers. Please send up a "Thank You!" prayer to God, and also pray that tomorrow's appt. goes well and that switching medications is a breeze for me!
I've come so far. Things will NOT be going back down hill any time soon.
Hope and faith saw me through the last 5 days. When it seemed like all was lost and I had nothing to hang on to, God provided hope.
There is always hope. Always.
As I referred to yesterday, God is always in control. God always provides hope.
GOD IS AWESOME!
Had I lost hope any time through this journey... well, let's just say, I wouldn't be sitting here typing this.
Thank you again for your prayers.
Blessings:
-I finished the book I referred to yesterday- it was ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS I HAVE EVER READ- a reflection of it will come soon! You must buy it and read it! Seriously!
-Deposited a large sum of $$ into my account from selling books on Amazon
-Picking out VBS music
-My mentor is going to be mailing me some things she wants me to read!
-The phone call! :D
-Making large felt objects for teaching props in the Fall
-Seeing someone I haven't seen in a long time
-I got a $100.00 bonus at work because of the great job I did Friday night! :D:D:D
-My headlight and wiper on my vehicle are now repaired.
-Having hope and holding on.
That quote is from Pittacus Lore in the book I Am Number Four. While it is in no way a spiritual endeavor or read, it is a good book (a fantasy about aliens).
But I loved that quote.
Hope was what got me through the last 5 days of waiting to hear from the doctor.
Praise God. The phone rang today.
My doctor's big jovial voice greeted me with a GOOD REPORT!
My problems are not serious and can be corrected by switching medications!
The best thing is- it came in perfect timing, as I have an appt. with my psychiatrist tomorrow afternoon!
GOD IS SO GOOD! While switching meds will be a trial, since these are working so well, it will eliminate other health hazards and risks.
THANK YOU ALL for the prayers. Please send up a "Thank You!" prayer to God, and also pray that tomorrow's appt. goes well and that switching medications is a breeze for me!
I've come so far. Things will NOT be going back down hill any time soon.
Hope and faith saw me through the last 5 days. When it seemed like all was lost and I had nothing to hang on to, God provided hope.
There is always hope. Always.
As I referred to yesterday, God is always in control. God always provides hope.
GOD IS AWESOME!
Had I lost hope any time through this journey... well, let's just say, I wouldn't be sitting here typing this.
Thank you again for your prayers.
Blessings:
-I finished the book I referred to yesterday- it was ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS I HAVE EVER READ- a reflection of it will come soon! You must buy it and read it! Seriously!
-Deposited a large sum of $$ into my account from selling books on Amazon
-Picking out VBS music
-My mentor is going to be mailing me some things she wants me to read!
-The phone call! :D
-Making large felt objects for teaching props in the Fall
-Seeing someone I haven't seen in a long time
-I got a $100.00 bonus at work because of the great job I did Friday night! :D:D:D
-My headlight and wiper on my vehicle are now repaired.
-Having hope and holding on.
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