Where Can Your Dreams Take You?

As I said the other day, I got to meet Jerry Pinkney this weekend. I bought his new book, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. The book jacket "preview" says this:

Where can your DREAMS take you? Farther than you've ever been, on a magical, windswept adventure to the stars- then back into the comfort of nature's loving arms.


The amazing illustrations follow a little chipmunk chasing a star through the various verses of the song.

But I really liked that preview. And it's so incredible to think about where I am today.

And thinking- THIS is where my dreams have taken me. Some are being fulfilled. Every day, I thank God that my dreams of being a teacher are coming true. That my dreams of sharing His love through music are being fulfilled. That I have more friends and support in my life than I ever imagined I would.

Where can your dreams take you? To the stars- to see the glory of God.

And then back to the comfort of GOD'S loving arms.

Dream big. God will hitch your wagon to HIS star and take you far beyond you will ever imagine.

Trust me. I'm riding that star right now. Hanging on tight and never wanting the journey to end.

Blessings:
-I was able to stay after class this evening and chat with our amazing professor about some things. It was so good, and reassuring.

-I was going through some things and I found an old letter from my friend, famous author, Patricia Polacco. I remember this quote she said, and there was something reassuring about it:
"Sometimes, people have no idea how much they hurt the person they are cruel to.  If someone is cruel to you, realize, there is something wrong with the person teasing you. THEY have the problem. Think about it. They can't be happy unless they're watching you be upset and sad? It says a lot about them doesn't it?"


-Even though she didn't get my name right, a student but this on my desk today... Made my day!:

-I'm prepping for tomorrow and I'm really, really excited about some things I have planned!

-Is it already the weekend? Do I really get to sleep in Saturday, for the first time in over 2 weeks?!

I Want to Take a Minute

I'm feeling better today! :)

Someone posted this on Facebook:

So, here it is: Thank you, God...

-For providing relief and rest when I need it.

-For the gift of literacy and for the ability to teach literacy. Because my goal is to get children excited about words, so they can read YOUR Word.

-For the amazing role models you have put in my life.

-For people who are happy to do letters of recommendation for my credential file.

-For a successful "first" today- I did my first guided reading group. Up til now, I've just been doing running records. It went very well!

-For a mom who understands.

-For friends who never fail.

-For my amazing students. I had so much fun with them at recess today, and many are really, really warming up to me. There are fights for who will hold my hand and who will sit by me at lunch, and the hugs are getting to be so abundant.

-For an "afternoon field trip" with my students, we went and saw a university's production of Joseph And the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. 

-For professors who are providing me with binders full of resources.

-For not having enough space in my dorm room to hold all of my children's books.

-For a creative mind.

-For a chapel service today with my students about being "like minded" as Jesus.

-For people who have just the right words to say.

-For the amazing fall weather.

-For leaves changing to orange and red.

-For hoodies and jackets.

-For kite-making and flying with my classmates in my methods course this afternoon.

For all of this and more, God, I want to take a moment to say Thank you.

Keeping Me Going

I was still a little sick (mainly overstimulated and under-hydrated) this morning, so I had to miss class, but I felt well enough to go to school.


I have to say, last night, before bed, (and more things came today), I sat back and made a list of the positive things people have said to me over the last few days.


They are what are currently keeping me going.


First have been Bible passages.
God saying "I LOVE YOU!" (John 3:34)
God saying, "YOU CAN DO IT!" (Philippians 4:13)
God saying, "COME TO ME!" (1 Peter 5:7)


These things were said to me (or about me) during the literacy festival this weekend:
While introducing me to someone, the festival director said, "This is one of the most outstanding students I have ever met!"


Another festival leader introduced me to some authors and said "This is one of the most valuable players in future literacy eduction!"


"You are such a wonderful young man, and I am sure you bless any individual who comes into your life."


Today, someone said to my co-op, "Wow, your student teacher is amazing." I said "Amazing? I don't know about that..." And my co-op said, " I DO know that- he is absolutely amazing at what he does."


These came from my students:

(the bottom one says: "Please come every day)

And this is a get-well "card" my students made because they knew I wasn't feeling well. The top says 2+2=4 We love you. And the bottom part says Get well soon, and then various students wrote their names:

I also received this in an e-mail from a great friend:

...none of us can do everything. That is nothing to be ashamed of. And Dylan, please remember how much you have overcome this year! Your mind & your body have taken so much, and you have done amazingly to come through everything. We've seen so much strength in you lately! And I love that you've got that strength, but remember that you are still fragile, okay? We all are! What you are doing right now - I'm certain that would push just about anyone to exhaustion and illness. It is not that there's 'something wrong with you'. Please know that!

...

Nothing is wrong with you, Dylan. You're doing more than anyone would be able to handle right now. This is not a weakness in you. It is a human trait which is hitting you hard right now. I hope there's an end in sight to all of this, and I'm praying for you in the meantime to find those extra hours each day that you need! Look after yourself!!

Seriously, thank you, everyone for your amazing words of encouragement, your prayers, and simply for "being there." It's hard, but things like these keep me going.

Always? Even Today?

Hi God,


It's me. I just have a question- Why are some days so hard?  I know, I know, life has its ups and downs, and the tough days really build our character.


But as you know, today was hard. Last night was hard. I know you say in Philippians, "Rejoice always..." But that was so hard today. You want me to rejoice even today?


I realize that I've had a really, really horrible no good year. So days like these should seem insignificant compared to what I've been through. But I just had such a hard time rejoicing and then I felt bad about it.


You know what happened. My blog-friends tried to warn me, others tried to warn me, "Make sure you get your rest." With my dehydration, I should have been keeping well hydrated.


But I thought "Maybe once, just this once, I can do it on my own. I will be just as strong as everyone else. Maybe one time I'll be able to be as strong as those I look up to."


I guess I was wrong. My dehydration got the best of me, my exhaustion got the best of me, and my over-stimulation got the best of me.


Don't get me wrong- I'm okay.... But here I sit... tired, a big gash in my foot from falling and catching it on a sharp edge, my throat sore and my voice lost, fatigued, overwhelmed, and frustrated.


But I still hear that voice that says, "Rejoice always..." Always? Even today?


Even today when I had to miss morning class because of feeling ill, not feeling "up to par" all day teaching, and not having the most-well behaved students in class.


And you want me to rejoice? Even today?


Even when I feel so unaccomplished because I'm not as strong as other people? Because I can't handle things other people could? Because I am so easily over-stimulated and easy to get anxious?


Rejoice? Even today?


I am trying to tell myself- Count your blessings (and I did that yesterday!), and that tomorrow will be better.


But what about today? Rejoice?


Psalm 118:24. This is still YOUR day. It's the day YOU made. It's not about me or about designing it so it's all fine and dandy for me.


Today? Rejoice?


I think I can do that. I consider what you've done in the past, and I know what you are capable of doing in the future.


Even on days like today, that are hard, and not easy to rejoice, your call echoes, "Rejoice always. Even today. It's My day. I made it for you. Enjoy. Find the ways I bless you."


I guess in closure, thank you. For this day. For a reason to rejoice and be glad in today- even when it's hard.

Be Glad and Rejoice With Me

"Be glad and rejoice with me"- Philippians 4:18, part of one of our texts for today. I am sorry I've been neglecting all of my other blog friends, whether it be reading/comments/e-mails. I am totally swamped and in over my head right now- but I'm trying to at least keep up with posting.

I am still in awe over all that has happened these last few days- it has been so inspiring, so meaningful, so life-changing, that I am still trying to process everything.

And so many authors said so many famous things, and I want to reflect on them, but right now, it's almost 7:30, and I simply can't write much.

But I still have time to thank God for my blessings.

-Rides with my co-op teacher to and from school which meant great conversation

-Getting Grace Lin’s Lissy retelling Lissy plush character and Grace signed the shoe

-New books

-Picking new read alouds

-Getting to teach music tomorrow and speak with our music teacher for a while

-32 cent 32 oz. sodas from the gas station on the way home

-Blessed to call Dr. U, one of the most amazing people I’ve ever met, my colleague and my friend

-Being told by my co-op that she respects me because of some decisions that I’ve made in my career as a teacher! 

-There were mothers that went along with us on our class field trip to see the famous authors- they came up to me and told me how much their boys talk about me when they come home, and how "cool" it is to have a male role model excited about learning and reading. :) 

-Yesterday I was Eileen Christelow's assistant, then I went to her session, then I went to Diane DySalvo's session, then Bill Harley's, and all where just phenomenal. 

-Then, we had a luncheon where Dr. Kylene Beers presented, as well as Barbara Robinson. Kylene's presentation was so moving, it brought me to tears and stirred up even more passion for teaching in my life. 

-Then, I was Brian Pinkney's autograph assistant

-I got so many pictures with all of the above!

-And I got all of their books autographed and signed... I may have bought too many, but this was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Here is my stack of purchases from the weeked (I met all authors of these books).

-A very inspirational endowment dinner with Jerry Pinkney

-This morning was my first organ-playing responsibility in the new church. I rode an hour each way with an amazing theology professor, and we had such good conversation

-An inspiring sermon and Bible study.

-Planning for tomorrow (which, I still have a TON to do!)

Life is so great, my dreams are coming true, and I want to invite you to be glad and rejoice with me.

Coming topics (so I don't forget to write about them):

-Following dreams

-The effects that cruel people have on their victims

-Never give up

-The importance of relationships

-Hearts

Grasping That Apple

After my students got to see two famous authors, we went to pick apples from a tree because our shared reading book was about a changing apple tree this week. 

Anyway, I was taking pictures of the students all day to make a photo book for the class to read, and then I started messing with my camera and taking cool apple shots with different adjustments and focuses. The above photo is one that I honestly got accidentally. But I was so excited when those two little hands appeared. They were not there when I was taking the photo; the little girl was jumping trying to get the apple. One of our parent volunteers scooped her up and she grasped that apple- just as my camera was taking the picture. It was so perfect- and very unintentional!

I was so in awe of the photo, and I was feeling a bit run down, so I sat down on a chair and just looked at the picture. (The students were still twirling around under the apple tree, fawning over their hard work of picking). 

And then I realized- (as you know, I'm swamped the next few days- well, week actually...)- I am trying so hard to get it all done- to grasp that apple and take ahold of it.

And I'm sure I look like that little girl, jumping and flailing and trying so hard to achieve the task of getting it done.

And then God steps in, scoops me up, and I can grasp the apple. And this accidental photo captured that so well. 

I'm relying on God to see me through the next few days. I know He will. I know I am strong. I know I can do it.

That Little Push

A little steam engine had a long train of cars to pull. She went along very well till she came to a steep hill. But then, no matter how hard she tried, she could not move the long train of cars. She pulled and she pulled. She puffed and she puffed. She backed and started off again. Choo! Choo! But no! The cars would not go up the hill. At last she left the train and started up the track alone. Do you think she had stopped working? No, indeed! She was going for help. "Surely I can find someone to help me," she thought. Over the hill and up the track went the little steam engine. Choo, choo, choo! Pretty soon she saw a big steam engine standing on a side track. He looked very big and strong. Running alongside, she looked up and said: "Will you help me over the hill with my train of cars? It is so long and heavy I can't get it over." The big steam engine looked down at the little steam engine. Then he said: "Don't you see that I am through my day's work? I have been rubbed and scoured ready for my next run. No, I cannot help you."

The little steam engine was sorry, but she went on. Choo, choo, choo! Soon she came to a second big steam engine standing on a side track. He was puffing and puffing, as if he were tired. "That big steam engine may help me," thought the little steam engine. She ran alongside and asked: "Will you help me bring my train of cars over the hill? It is so long and so heavy that I can't get it over." The second big steam engine answered: "I have just come in from a long, long run. Don't you see how tired I am? Can't you get some other engine to help you this time?” 

"I'll try," said the little steam engine, and off she went. Choo, choo, choo! After a while she came to a little steam engine just like herself. She ran alongside and said: "Will you help me over the hill with my train of cars? It is so long and so heavy that I can't get it over." "Yes, indeed!" said this little steam engine. "I'll be glad to help you, if I can." So the little steam engines started back to where the train of cars had been standing. Both little steam engines went to the head of the train, one behind the other. Puff, puff! Chug, choo! Off they started! Slowly the cars began to move. 

Slowly they climbed the steep hill. As they climbed, each little steam engine began to sing: "I-think-I-can! I-think-I- can! I-think-I-can! I-think-I-can!..." And they did! Very soon they were over the hill and going down the other side. Now they were on the plain again; and the little steam engine could pull her train herself. So she thanked the little engine who had come to help her, and said goodbye. And she went merrily on her way, singing: "I-thought-I-could! I-thought-I-could! I-thought-I-could!"

Where do the days go? I'm sitting here, just coming in to my dorm for the first time since 6:50 AM this morning. And it is almost 10:00 PM.

To say I am exhausted would be an understatement. 

I began my day with a full day of teaching, and heavy load today. It all went well. Then I rushed back to campus for class, had class, ate dinner, rushed to my room to change, then went to another class that I was an "honorary member" of tonight. 

I sat through the class, which went just past nine, and we had one of the famous authors with us. She needed some help getting to where she was staying, so I walked about 2 blocks with her and made sure she got in the building okay. I was so happy to help! And we had a great conversation, well, just about our love for children's literature. She's an amazing woman and I am blessed to be working with her again over the next two days.

Anyway, this is what my schedule looks like for the next three days:

-Tomorrow: Wake at 6, commute to school (45 minutes), take my children to the literacy festival all day, come back to school, plan for next week, arrive back to my dorm around 6:00 PM or later. There are two things I am supposed to go to/participate in tomorrow night, but I don't know that I will be able.

-Saturday: Wake at 6, assist author with autographing 7, attend the conference all day 7-3, help load books into my car to carry, commute at 4, sell books at the endowment dinner, attend endowment dinner, commute back, go to bed (10 or later).

-Sunday: Wake up at 6, commute to my professor's house (30 minutes), commute to the church with him that I am playing organ for (which, also, I still need to make time to practice), (45 minutes), attend service and Bible class, commute back to school another hour and fifteen minutes, grab a quick lunch, work 1-3, begin planning for next week, 3-10 PM.

And then Monday begins a new day with class at 7:30 AM and then school all day, class at night.

Considering my current level of energy, I'm trying to tell myself, I think I can, I think I can, I think I can, just like that little engine.

When I look back at the times I failed and couldn't, I tell myself, "No, you can't. Look at the times you were busy too- that's when you got sick. Give up. Cancel some things. Back out. Don't go on."


It's hard too, my foot (the one I fractured), was injured again last night. I have so many piles and so much stuff to sort, work on, or organize this weekend, that when I was stumbling around in the dark, I tripped, gashed my foot on a sharp edge (big gash, blood everywhere), and the part of the foot that was fractured is now throbbing.  I will be on my feet a ton the next few days. It won't be easy.

But that little voice inside me continues to push me... "I think I can, I think I can, I think I can..."

[God] Is So Good!

This is going to be one giant post of blessings because things are so awesome right now!

Okay, so I work at a library and one of the books we have on reserve is titled, "Life is So Good"- I was going to title my post based on that title, but I decided it wasn't good enough.... GOD is so good!

I had the day off on Monday. I got so much done, as well as my neck pain relief. I got to stop by some professor's offices and check in with them and let them know how I am doing, and update them on some things that have changed... and well, that haven't. 

Anyway, everyone was delighted (at least they said so, and appeared to be), to see me. I love the net of support I have here on campus!

I also had lunch with a professor and a gal who is just completing missionary work in Latvia. It was so awesome to hear her story and see how God is continuing to bless her and her ministry!

Monday evening (golly, my memory is getting bad), we had class, and my co-op teacher was the guest speaker. She is just phenomenal- her depth of knowledge and wisdom as a teacher. I have learned so much from her for the first half of the term and I am still continuing to learn a ton. She is amazing. No other way to put it.

Tuesday we had music class, and there were no recorder bloopers this time! 

Yesterday's teaching went so well, and as I told you yesterday, I got my mid-term back, and I am still so happy and proud. I also got in my Scholastic book order!

Did I mention ever how blessed I am to always start my day with Jesus time or chapel! It is awesome!

Today I did more shared reading, we're working on The Apple Pie Tree, and the flannelgraph I worked so hard to make was such a valuable teaching tool!

Then, this afternoon I presented a lesson on greater than/less than symbols. I had a crocodile puppet and it "ate" the bigger numbers right out of the students' hands.

I spoke a bit with my mentor professor, who is in charge of the literacy festival this weekend. I am already helping a ton, but I said, "If you need anything, give me a call any time and I will help in whatever capacity I can." And she responded, "There are few people we would call in the event we needed immediate, dependent help. You are one of those people."  It was such a high compliment!

Then we had Science methods class. It was really interesting and a lot of fun, and I gave a lesson on bubbles, and we ended up sidetracked and tried to see how big my "students" (actually my classmates), could get a tower of bubbles. It was fun!

And this evening I got to have dinner with one of my best friends, and also two other guys I don't really know. I'm always thrilled to meet new people.

Then, I met FIVE children's book authors!!!! There are about 8 coming to campus for our children's literacy festival this weekend (which I am heavily involved in, so I don't know how much you will hear from me). Anyway, a prof introduced me to them, and I went around the table and shook all of their hands, and laughed with a few. It's so awesome that I can pull a book off of a shelf, especially in my classroom, and say, "Oh, I met this author!" I can't wait for Friday and Saturday. 

And the evening was topped off with a birthday party, complete with 2 cakes and 3 types of cupcakes. I didn't eat one, but took one for my lunch tomorrow! Espresso cupcake with coffee icing. Mmmmmm!

If it isn't evident by how blessed I am in the above, God is SO GOOD! 

Where I Am And Who I Am Today

I got my mid-term student teaching evaluation back already (Am I already half done with the first component of student teaching?!)

I almost was in tears when I got it. Not because it was bad.

But because it said this:
"Dylan has an excellent understanding of the needs of children this age. He works hard to have creative lessons that will hold the interest of the children. His dedication to making a meaningful and exciting learning experience for the children is clearly evident.


I am very delighted to have Dylan working with me in first grade. He truly is a colleague with whom I can discuss best practices and research-based instruction. I would love to have him stay teaching here with us at Faith."

If consulted by an administrator who is considering this student teacher for a teaching position, I would: Recommend with enthusiasm!

The one-year mark of the day my depression sunk in and I suffered a conversion disorder is soon arriving.

And to think- about where I am and who I am today- compared to then, I am so proud of myself, I am so happy with my life, and I am so confident for the future. I am also thanking and praising God for all He has done to see me through this.

A year ago, would I have imagined that would be on my first student teacher evaluation? No.

And that makes me so enthusiastic to think about where I might be a year from today.

No matter what happens, where I am, I know whose I will be and who will be guiding me through and always watching over me.

Instant Relief

I haven't written about this, because I didn't want to complain about it.

 

I misstepped on a stair about 2 weeks ago, and it threw my neck off a little. I took back and body pills to help relieve some of the tension.

 

With the stress of teaching, it only got worse. I have been so tight, and my neck has been so sore the last week. I just said, "Man up and deal with it."

 

And so, I was. But today, I finally had a day off, and I could get in to see the chiropractor.

 

So, I went and had an adjustment. Let me tell you, I had a pretty messed up neck, according to the doctor.

 

But, he cracked me, adjusted me, and then worked out some of the knots in my neck, and it was pretty much instant relief.

 

And I feel so much more loose and comfortable now. It is great.  But I didn't really get it instantly- I had wait until I had time in my schedule.

 

Sometimes, I think, we expect that of God. We have our perils, our problems, our hardships, and our pains, and we want instant relief.

But that's not the way God works. As I said yesterday, His thoughts are not our thoughts and His ways are not our ways. While He doesn't operate around a, "I'll get to it when I have time on my schedule," He does do everything for our good and in our best interest. And that might not be our ideal, perfect timing. But it's God's. And He's working for our good.

 

Are you seeking some instant relief tonight? Find comfort and instant peace by digging into God's Word. Find instant hope by trusting He's working for your good. Find contentment in the fact that no matter what you're going through, He is blessing you. 

PS- Where is everybody?! Both comment wise, and postings have been really quiet over the last week or so!

PPS- This is short because I am feeling a little under the weather. I've been coughing all day, and my throat really hurts, so I need a lot of rest. 

Raise Both Hands

We had some awesome texts this morning again.

They were:
Old Testament: Isaiah 55:6-9
Epistle: Philippians 1:12-14, 19-30
Gospel: Matthew 20:1-16

For today, I'm going to take a look at Isaiah 55:6-9, simply because verse 9 is one of my favorite "cling-to" verses that I often refer to in my time with God.

Life is full of deceit. Let's face it.

In many teenage TV shows and movies, you'll find the typical story of the not-so-popular-boy who asks the very-popular girl to prom, she says yes, and then stands him up on prom night while all of her friends laugh.

Do we get used to it?

I suppose, after we've been tricked over and over again, we sometimes come to expect it. But that doesn't mean that the pain and destruction, the devastation, it brings get any easier.

I've been deceived before, yeah. The biggest time I've been deceived has been recently about 8 months ago when I was stabbed in the back as I realized a friend had been lying to me for months and then turned against me.

Yeah, it hurt. It sucked. It brought a huge amount of destruction, devastation, and pain into my life at a time where I really couldn't handle it.

But it's because of situations like that, people in this world who do that, some people, (including me in the past), are so skeptical of God.

But if you take out the text of Isaiah 55, and look really closely at it, you may realize that God is not out to deceive us.

It is not the goal of God to ignore us, to fool us, or to try to play tricks with our minds.

Do you disagree? Think about this. God gave His Son to die for us. Is that the kind of God that would deceive us, or play tricks on us?

You may say, "Well, what about my problems, what am I supposed to do with those?"

I know you have them. We all do. Sometimes we underestimate what God can to, and we end up trying to overcompensate.

But, consider this. How can we raise a palm of one hand and ask God for help, but yet, use the other one to continue to sin, mistrust, and try to overcompensate what we think God is not capable of doing?

How can we ask for help, act like we totally rely on God, and then say, "God, you can bless me, even though I'm going to continue to go against Your will."

And that's where verse 9 comes in- "My ways are higher than your ways, and my thoughts higher than your thoughts."

God is not trying to deceive us. He knows far more about what's best for us and for our lives than what we do. His thoughts and ways are so much higher, so much more incomprehensible, that we could not even begin to understand them.

If there's anything that you take away from this post of reflection, take this: God is not here to deceive you. Let go of your sinful actions and your overcompensation in your hand or hands. Raise both to God our Father, whose ways and thoughts are higher than ours. Trust Him.

Blessings:
-Friday night was so much fun. Two of my close friends and I went garage-saling, and I found a lot of things I can use in my classroom, all for under $10! Then we had a fantastic meal and wonderful conversation at the restaurant. It was a great evening.

-Saturday I got a ton of little things done. Last night, I started out with two friends, and we were in a lounge watching the movie Up (which is a great movie!). Anyway, after the movie we were just talking, and then another guy showed up, and before long 3 other friends showed up, and the pattern kept going. Before long, the lounge was full-standing room only, and we were all screaming with hysteria. It was so much fun, and I love it when all those unexpected guests arrive to have a good time, even though they didn't know we were there- just happened to be passing by!

-Today's worship service was great!

-Also, after this morning, the fall weather was just perfect!

-I went to my co-op's house to plan for this week, and we had a nice conversation!

-This evening, I went to the library to print something, ended up running into a friend who graduated and is here visiting, and I sat and talked for an hour longer than I planned to stay. It was worth it! Then, on the way back, I ran into another friend who works at a pizza place. She just happened to have garlic cheese breadsticks, and offered me some! :)

Peace Place

I meant to write about this earlier this week but I didn't get around to it.

In our classroom, we've established what we call the "Peace Place."

The peace place is a very special place in the classroom, though it might not look like it to an outsider.

The peace place is simply a cross hanging on a ledge with open floor space below it.

There are many conflicts with young children. The smallest things that happen can create the biggest problem. And the automatic response is to come running to me or my co-op and saying, "So-and-so stuck his tongue out at me!"  "So-and-so won't let me sit with them!"

Those problems can usually be solved with a simple conversation between the two, but some conflicts require the two arguing parties to make a trip to the peace place.

Let me tell you, it is so awesome to see those kids come to the peace place.

Whenever I overhear someone say, "We need to go to the Peace Place," if I'm not teaching or helping someone, I always go to my desk (which is by the Peace Place), and eavesdrop.

Those children know what to do when they are there. They first pray. (Which, to hear their prayers, is so incredible). Then they talk about how they feel and how they can fix the situation. Sometimes it takes longer than others, but they always work it out. And then they pray again. And sometimes I just want to go over there and give them all a big hug!

In our own lives, we've all got a Peace Place we can go for reconciliation and forgiveness. It's the cross.

And you know, sometimes, as I've learned, things aren't as simple as the young children's ability to solve the problem.

Sometimes, we go to the Peace Place and we find that the brother or sister in Christ we are trying to show love to and reconcile and be at peace with, will not join us there.

I've been waiting patiently at the Peace Place for 8 months now. Yes, it's been a long time. I'm still hurting. I'm still waiting.

And I don't know how long I'll be waiting here. As long as it takes. And you know what, it may never happen. That individual may never want to join me at the peace place. That individual may want to continue to go against the presence and the will and the love of God for the rest of their life.

But I will not leave. Jesus is still here with me, wiping away my every tear and reminding me that, yes, it will all be okay. And He's sitting here with me, waiting for that individual to join us.

Others I've wronged have come and gone, and have been at peace with me and with God. But not this individual- they're still avoiding Jesus and I.

And we're patient. We'll always be here. Waiting. Ready.

Life Upside Down

We had a professional development workshop all day today.
The presenters opened by sharing this video:

Wow. Powerful. I thought I knew how they were going to change things, but I didn't expect it to go quite like that.

It's interesting to think, that even when I was ready to give up, God was cheering me on saying:
"You can turn things around! I can turn things around! We work together!"
"No matter what crap may come next, I do not believe you are a failure! Keep going!"
"You are capable of more than failure!"
"Your life can and WILL be full of joy!"
"You have a great future ahead!"
"You WILL recover from your past mistakes!"

Wow. That's just about all I can say. Wow.

God is awesome, life is so good, I can't say that enough.

Blessings
-Some people may have said, "Oh... workshop ALL day.... UGH..." but I thoroughly enjoyed it. And their "gift" to us, was a set of file folders FULL of tips, research, methods, techniques etc. Here's how big it was. I cannot wait to dig into this and do some professional development reading this weekend:

-I chatted a bit with my amazing mentor professor afterward. She is awesome.

-I went to lunch and had chapel with another professor and my amazing ECE colleagues. It was great to get together and have "teacher-talk."

-Tonight, actually, soon, I am going garage-saling and then out to eat for a long overdue birthday celebration with two of my best friends. 

-Is tomorrow Saturday? Yes? I get to sleep in! (But I will probably be up by 8 anyway!)

Life is so good!

Blue and Yellow

Okay- so maybe the title is a play on the Black and Yellow song.
Which, BTW, my buddy posted the link to this Christian version of the song on my wall. Listen to it here.

Anyway, we are doing a teacher professional development workshop tonight and all day tomorrow. Tonight was about getting along and understanding almost anyone.

Anyway, we took personality tests. They were made Anita Reed surveys.

I am yellow-dominant personality. These are the words they used to describe yellow:
-Expressive
-Extremely Friendly
-Never meets a stranger
-Need contact
-A friend to all
-Always willing to help you with your problems
-Drive a big vehicle (yes, I drive an SUV Crossover!) which will be able to haul a LOT of people
-Operates best with people
-People-oriented
-Will talk to everyone and anyone.
-Very extravagant.
-Eternal optimist
-No rear view mirrors
-Fun
-Dynamic
-Plan all the parties
-Social director
-Likes group activities

My 2nd dominant personality was blue.
Here are the blue characteristics:
-Creative
-Sincere
-Caring
-Loyal
-Understanding
-Open-minded
-Different
-Sweethearts of personalities
-Come out of things sobbing (paid mourners)- Feel emotions
-Misunderstood
-Fearful of criticism
-Want understanding
-Might sing you a song (DEFINITELY me)
-Ambiance
-"Let's smell the flowers along the way."
-Enjoys life
-Cries easily- for instance, when the organ at church simply begins playing (yep, that's happened before).
-Gets their toes stepped on
-Specialized skills
-Needs hugs

I would say, this personality test was pretty accurate. We got into our color groups and planned a back to school event. The leaders observed that the yellow was the group that was the loudest, having the most fun, laughing, and in total pandemonium of fun.

Yep. That was us. I loved that group.

The idea at the end was that God blesses us in many ways with many people- all colors work together and none is better than the other.

The last two days have been full of many blessings. I don't really know where to start.
-I have had two amazing one on one conversations at dinners the last two night. Seriously, I have met some of the most amazing people in my life here.

-Today was my first day where I taught for nearly the whole day. It went so well! Yeah, there were bumps along the way, but I feel so confident about where I am and where I'm going!

-I got two wonderful (and signed) little reminder notes/letters in the mail. :)

-I found out today that I get Monday off from school! Can we say work day?

-Tonight, our education professors were attending the workshop and one was in the back trying to imitate my laugh. I wasn't offended- I laughed at his attempt!

-Autumn weather is finally here.

-Starting work on my earthworm unit

-My stack of resources from my co-op, classes, professor friends is stacking up and there is so much valuable and good stuff in there! I cannot wait to begin putting it to use in my own classroom!

-I have a great weekend lined up!

-I get to host Eileen Christelow a week from Saturday!

-Did I mention I have an amazing net of support here? Really, I wouldn't be doing so well if it weren't for all of their love and loyalty and friendship to me. And also, all of my blogging friends. :)

-Smiling ear to ear right now!

Cannot And Won't

Have you heard of Fanny Crosby?


Because of a medical mistake, from her earliest years Fanny Crosby was blind. 


Blind, but she could still see her Savior most clearly. 


At the age of eight, at the age of eight, Fanny Crosby wrote: "Oh, what a happy child I am, although I cannot see. I am resolved that in this world, contented I will be. How many blessings I enjoy that other people don't. To weep and sigh because I'm blind, I cannot and I won't!"


I've tried not to write about it, but depression makes teaching hard.


Yes, I've said I was a success story, and yes, I am. But, I still battle side effects daily.


It's like everyone is already exhausted and worn out from teaching. But it's like double for me. I have to fight that battle on a daily basis. Is it easy? No, not at all. You have no idea.


Am I succeeding? YES. 


I'm sure other people are being blessed by their positions. But, there seem to be a lot more things I appreciate that other people miss. To weep and sigh and give up because I'm depressed? As Fanny said, I cannot and I won't! 


On that note, today has been just awesome! 


We had music methods today. In class, we are learning to play recorder (or in my case, re-learning), so we can be able to teach it.


I didn't practice my notes this week, and while I read music very well, my fingers are big for the recorder so I really have to work to get fingering correct.


Anyway, we were playing songs and I was screwing up bad. And my partner kept saying, "You are messing me up Dylan!!" Of course, that just made me laugh, and that made her laugh, and we weren't very focused.


Then we had to play some song about a dog together with the class on CD. We were maybe two measures in and I landed on a wrong note, and she rolled her eyes and shook her head, and I let out a big "air" laugh. Which, happened to go right into my recorder, and it made a very LOUD squeal/squeak/whistle. Whatever you want to call it. Immediately, I fell into hysteria- to the point of tears, and maybe 2 other people in the class kept playing, everyone else was on the floor laughing. I didn't know a recorder could make a sound like that. Everyone thanked me for making their morning bright. I don't know what was funnier- the recorder noise, or me wiping away tears of laughter from my face.


As soon as I got to school, I did my first reading running records this morning and they went very well! 


In the afternoon, I taught a math lesson about making counting books to share with the kindergarteners. That went really well.


Then, I went out and changed for shared reading. I came back in as the "King of all things ING"- The King of All Things ING, who wears a rING and likes to sING, decided to brING the first grade students a gift that will help them remember how to spell ING. It went very well, and we made our word family house of ING words. 


This evening, I had a meeting with my supervisor and he gave me straight 5s on my first observation and overall report! YES! And I was doing so well on my lesson plans I can now switch to short form! Again, YES!

Nothing Is Not Negative

My students today did the classic "Going on a Bear Hunt."

It was great. They were following along with a CD and after they made it safely home after being chased by the bear, the CD asked, "Were you afraid?"

One little guy proudly bursted out, "No! I'm not afraid of anything!"

While that probably wasn't reality in his life, wouldn't it be amazing if we all had that attitude?

I'm not afraid of anything.

I think the point of this post bounces of yesterday's idea. There is nothing, absolutely nothing that can separate us from God's love.

And therefore, we have nothing to be afraid of.

When you find yourself asking, "What's the worst that could happen?", be not afraid.

The same Jesus who calmed the storm and asked, "What are you so afraid of?" asks the same of you. And may your response be bold in saying "Nothing!"

There is nothing to tear us away from God; and there is nothing to be afraid of.

Most people think of "nothing" as a negative term.
"We lost 24 to nothing."
"I got nothing in the mail today."
"I got nothing done today."

But, God says, "Nothing is not negative."

Nothing is positive. Nothing separates us from His love, and we have nothing to be afraid of.

Be like that boy and say, "I'm not afraid of anything, because there isn't anything that can separate me from the love of God."

There Must Be A Catch

I had a hard time choosing which Scripture lesson to use for Scripture Sunday today! They are all phenomenal and though I chose the Romans 8 passage, I will probably reflect on the others this week too, because they are so powerful. (These weren't the readings selected for this Sunday based on the Lectionary, BTW)

Old Testament: Psalm 46
Epistle: Romans 8:31-39
Gospel: Luke 13:1-9

So. Romans 8. One of my favorite chapters in the Bible.

Especially verse 32. It's basically saying, "If God gave us the very best, His Son, we can most certainly trust Him to take care of the rest."

When I worked this summer, sometimes a court show was featured on TV, like Judge Judy. Sometimes I left it on and listened to it in the background.

One day, a seller on Ebay was being sued. Sued because she scammed two people. I don't remember what she was selling, but though it was at a $400some selling price, it was a nice item for that cost. I think it was a laptop.

Nevertheless, these two women bought two of the laptops- they were new, for $400 each.

What they received in the mail was not two laptops.

It was two pictures of laptops. They failed to read the fine print. It said "Not actual laptops, just the pictures."

I know Judge Judy ruled in their favor, but that isn't the point of me sharing this. It's because we have been trained to live our lives thinking, "This is too good to be true. There must be a catch."

Some new magic product comes out on a commercial, and it seems like it can do it all.

But there's usually a catch.

Some new fast-acting drug can help with weight loss or wrinkle remover and we impulsively want it.

But there's usually something written in fine print.

Some new set of knives or other cooking utensils come on sale for a very low price, and we think, "You can't beat that!"

But there's usually multiple payments owed of a small amount.

Loopholes. They're everywhere. Some things seem so great, but when we read the fine print, when we hear the final offer, when we realize the catch, they're not so great.

God's love. It seems like it's great- almost too good to be true. And the blessings He gives us seem far too great to be able to be outnumbered.

But when things seem hard, when challenges arise, when sorrows like sea billows roll, it's easy to get angry and say,

"I KNEW IT! I KNEW THERE WAS GOING TO BE A CATCH! PAY ATTENTION, GOD! YOU ARE NOT AS IMPORTANT AS I AM AND WHEN I WAS BROUGHT INTO YOUR FAMILY, I WAS PROMISED YOUR LOVE. NOW LOOK. I NEW THIS WAS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE! I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR A LOOPHOLE ALL ALONG AND HERE IT IS!"

But if any of those thoughts has ever crossed your mind, rest assured.

In Romans 8, Paul reminds us that there is nothing, NOTHING that can separate us from God's love. There are NO loopholes. There is NO fine print. There is NOT a catch. You have it right there in black and white. It is not a scam- God does not know how to give you bad things, He only knows how to give us blessings.


And if He gave us the very best, we can surely trust Him with the rest. 


Let me repeat that- neither storms, nor bombs, nor difficulties, nor challenges, nor illnesses, nor family member health problems, nor persecution, nor accidents, nor injuries, nor ANYTHING can separate us. No matter how hard your present problems, no matter how messed up your past is, God isn't going anywhere.

There is nothing that can separate you from God's love because we are more than conquerers! I love that verse.

God loved you so much that He sent His one and only Son to live, suffer, die and rise again for you. That kind of love is without loopholes, without catches, and without any fine print.

Doubt not and be not afraid: Nothing will ever separate you from God's love. I think that is absolutely phenomenal. The worst life will have to offer will never take you apart from your Father.

Blessings:
-Last night I had a fantastic evening with one of the guys who has come to be one of my best friends. We ate Chinese, watched a movie, and played a game. It is so good to have people like this in your life!

-Worship today was just awesome. Perfect songs, hymns, message, and celebration of Communion. I left feeling very fulfilled and re-energized.

-We sang this, and it always stays stuck in my head for days after worship when we sing it as our closing hymn.

-We had a Sept. 11 Memorial service this afternoon. It was very contemplative and a great way to spend 45 minutes- reflecting on God's mighty power .

-My co-op teacher took me to Dairy Queen! Yes, you non-Americans should be jealous! ;) We had blizzards! And we had a great, long conversation and we are going to do it again soon.

-And I finished the evening with a fun dinner with another friend.

Life Without Regrets

Some say we learn from our mistakes. The saying goes, "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me."


Do you ever have those moments where you want a major do-over? Where you say, "Can we just put things on rewind and try that again? What have I just done? If only this had been different, if only I could have tried this some other way." 


We say..
"If only I had known..."
"If only I had caught on sooner..."
"If only I had not trusted..."


There are days I wish could be marked off the calendar. 
There are things I have said that I want to take back.
I have regrets too many to mention.
Things that I did, and things that I should have done but didn't. 


There are a lot of days where I've wanted a major do-over. 


Some days, when I look back on my health problems, I kick myself in the face. I think, 
"Why didn't you recognize the signs and symptoms sooner?"
"Why didn't you do something about it even after you recognized the symptoms?"
"Why didn't you go home instead of trying to get better and attend classes?"


The story is told of an athlete named Roger Bannister became the first man in history to run a mile in less than four minutes. Within two months, another great competitor John Landy eclipsed the record by a mere 1.4 seconds. On August 7, 1954, the two met together for an exciting and history-making race. As the two runners moved closer to the finish line and into the last lap around the track Landy held the lead. It looked as if he would win the race, but just as he neared the finish he became curious of were Mr. Bannister was. So curious that he turned back to look and Bannister took the lead and won the race! John Landy told the Time Magazine, "If I had not looked back, I would have won!"


We all have those moments. 
"If I had not..."
"If I had..." 
Things would be different today.


I have some good news that I've recently realized. Life is not about trying to get to the end without having a single regret.


Life is not a one way street where we go, trying to live out a perfectly planned map and find the exact outlets where we can live without any regrets.


Are there things you have done you regret?
Are there people you've trusted, but have later regretted it?
Are there things you wish you had gotten, but now regret not getting them?
Places you have gone?


Let me tell you one thing I am not going to regret, and I guarantee, if you are a follower of Christ Jesus, you are not going to regret it either.


I'm not going to regret having a relationship with my Savior Christ Jesus.


And because I have a relationship with Him, I am able to forgive myself every day.


Yesterday, you remember, was hard. There were a lot of things I regretted doing.
Last semester, you know, was difficult. No matter how hard I tried, I never had the right things to say to people who refused forgiveness. I regretted trying so hard.
Last Fall, you know, was a challenge. As I mentioned before, I made some decisions that I regretted for a long time.


But, I was able to forgive myself because I knew Jesus forgave me first. Find comfort knowing that every day, you can forgive yourself for the wrong you have done. You can live a life free of regret. 


At the same time, can I encourage you? Can I encourage you to do everything you can to be like Christ? To show His love to others? To do things you will not regret, but will feel a sense of achievement and accomplishment for?


Don't regret not knowing Jesus. Don't regret not showing His love. Don't regret not forgiving someone. Don't regret not sharing His hope with someone who needs it. Don't regret not helping other people.


Live your life without regrets. Live your life without "If only"s and "I should have"s. Live it in full confidence you have done everything you could to share Jesus and His love with everyone you encounter that day, knowing that even if you mess up, you can forgive yourself because Jesus has forgiven you. 

One of Those Kinds of Days

It was a tough morning. It was one of those kinds of mornings (and I would soon find out it would turn into one of those kinds of days)- the kinds of mornings where every stoplight you come to in the city is red, and the bar for the train tracks comes down right when you are ready to cross. And you're running late.

It started out to be one of those kinds of days.

I barely made it into staff devotions- it wasn't that I woke up late or anything, but the traffic this morning was bad. So yeah, not a good impression for the rest of the teachers/principal.

I started off the day with Jesus time. The lesson started off okay. Now, my students are a challenging bunch behavior wise. But today... it was just taken to a whole new level.

I don't want to go into detail, because I don't think anyone would understand, but, I reached my breaking point. I had used up all of my discipline strategies and nothing worked. I was so frustrated. I lost my patience, and I started doing things they tell you not to do when you're managing discipline.

When the students left for recess, I was just kind of like, what just happened?!!?!


I felt like a failure. Not because the kids were misbehaving, but because of the way I handled it and let it get to me.

My co-op and I sat down while they were at recess. She went over everything that happened and what I could have done in the situation. She said something like, "I know you love young children. I know you do- but you always have to show that. Always."

I was almost to tears. I was so mad at myself. She asked how I felt, and I said, "I feel embarrassed. I feel frustrated. I feel like I blew it."

And she said, "Do not feel that way. Why are you here? Because you are student-teaching! You are NOT perfect! You are here to learn and grow!"

She was not mad at all. She was not disappointed at all. And I knew that.

But I still felt like I had really messed up. I had copies to be made, so she took over the class when they came back and I went to the copy room. I took a few breaths and then the kindergarten teacher came in. (I want to say God sent her there). She said "You look really shaken up!" I said "Yeah..." and I explained what happened. She just had a way of making me feel better. She said student teaching is the hardest time of a teacher's career. Nobody is perfect.

I didn't teach again that morning. At lunch, when the kids were seated, she came up to me and she said "I am sorry about this morning." I said "Do not be sorry! I am so glad I had that experience because I learned from it!" She said "Well I feel bad you had to go through that... So I'm taking you to Dairy Queen this weekend."  (Note, I have the BEST co-op EVER!!!)

Shortly after a student came up and puked behind me. I turned away and did not breathe in, because the smell of vomit makes me sick. I took the students out for recess, and I had duty by myself. Yeah, it was one of those kinds of days.

I taught again in the afternoon. It went so much better, and I was so much calmer. I don't know why. But the students were so well behaved.

Then we had inside recess, and some of the students worked from the art cart. One after the other, they came and gave me their creations:

Yes, those are butterflies, and yes, the one in the middle says, "I love you," and yes, they are hanging on my dorm room wall (not the manliest thing, but they were so meaningful on a day like today, I put them up as a reminder to myself). They are amazing students. 

After school, I chatted with my co-op for a while, came back, had a fun dinner, went to a friend's room and talked all things education, and now I'm just getting back from a comedy sketch, where, I laughed loud, and one time I laughed loud and a bit later than everyone else, and that in turn made them laugh again, to which the comedian responded "Wow! He got more laughs than I did! He's winning!" I was a bit embarrassed, but it was all in good fun.

And now I came back and I prayed and said a big prayer of thanks to God. Because it was one of those days. The kind where everything turns around and seems like a blessing. And I'm thankful for every minute. I love those kinds of days. In fact, I have a lot of them. Daily. I think you might too, if you look back and think on it.