No More Good Byes

I've never liked saying "Good-byes."

Something about those two words makes things seem so final and over with.

Yes, I've had to say "Good-bye" to people for long term, so it was final and over with.

But, there are still "Good-byes" that must be said to people who I won't see in a few weeks, or, as I experienced yesterday, for over eight months. And it's tough.

I don't like missing connections with people- I don't like not having people just a stone's throw away from me. I would rather everyone I love and care about be right around me.

But, reality is, life is full of good-byes. Things change. Life goes on.

And, I must leave my "family" here on campus to be with my family at home- but shortly, I'll have to say good-bye to my family too to come back here. It's a cycle of good-byes that's unavoidable. It's life.

One thing I've learned about depression is that "Good-byes" are harder on me than they were. Something about them just eats away at me, and it just seems so much sadder than it is. It's this feeling that eats away at the positives and reaffirmations that I'll see the people again.

I'm hoping in time they'll be easier- While I'll probably never like saying "Good-bye" the rest of my life, I hope in time it becomes not so hard on me, putting me into this feeling. I understand that it's okay for me to feel sad when it's time to say good-bye. Because good-byes are sad. And I don't like them.

I am not sure which song it is, but there lyrics go "In Christ, there are no Good-byes"- and although the song is referencing death and letting go of someone; I think it holds true here on earth too. Because of Christ, we have a connection with each other. His love is able to keep us strong and hold us up in our rough times.

I think a better term to use is "See you later"- it seems so much less "final" - and though there may be uncertainty about the exact date or time you may see the person, you are certain that you will see them again. And if not here on earth, definitely in heaven. And that is certain.

Good-bye has never made sense to me anyway. What's good about good-bye? Other than it was good that you cherished the time you had together.

So the next time you see me, I will probably say "See you later"- because I know I will, eventually.