Loneliness

I have never felt so alone.

Although I am surrounded by caring friends, compassionate family members, and concerned professors and staff members, I still feel so alone.

I'm not alone, though. Which is why some people reading this may think, "You're not alone, you're not going to be alone, so get over that feeling and move on."

I wish it was that easy.

Because even though I am surrounded by so many wonderful people, I am the only one that really understands how I feel. Someone reminded me yesterday that I am definitely not alone, as there are over 12 million other Americans out there suffering with depression. So I'm not alone.

But it still feels that way. And at times it feels that everyone else is against me.

And I have no control over that. And that's what makes things so hard.

I will get the opportunity here in the coming weeks to help someone else in my community who is suffering from depression. I just found out about that today. That makes me feel a little bit better.

Because I will get to communicate with someone else battling this terrible illness. And maybe that will help my feeling of loneliness.

If you're reading this and you communicate with me regularly, it never helps to remind me that you're there for me. Because every time I hear things like that, and reaffirming comments, it makes the clouds of loneliness go away.

At least, for a little while.

And sometimes when I feel super lonely, I turn to Scripture, where I am reminded that no matter where I go or what I do, I'm not alone.

Because God is there with me. And He's not going anywhere.

For Jesus said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you."

So even though I feel like I've been abandoned, I know that God is there. And wants to talk.