God's Gift

I've been doing some reading this break.

Last Christmas, I bought the book The Purpose of Christmas by Rick Warren. I read it last year, but I've been reading it again. This paragraph struck me today:

The name Jesus actually means "God saves." Right now, Jesus says this to you: "I can replace the frustration in your heart with peace. I can replace your guilt and shame with forgiveness. I can replace your worry and anxiety with confidence. I can replace your depression with real hope. I can fill your emptiness with meaning and purpose. If you'll trust me completely, I can replace your confusion with clarity. But I'm not going to break down the door of your heart. You've got to invite me in." Aren't you ready to do that?


Woah! That's pretty much all I've been experiencing wrapped up in one paragraph- these past few months -years- I've been experiencing so much frustration with myself; so much shame about my illness; too much anxiety- so much that I have GAD; too much depression- so much that I have severe depression- and I have felt totally empty throughout all of it.

And Jesus has a cure for all of it?! I then thought for a while, if Jesus really had a cure for all that I've been going through, why am I still suffering?

And then I realized, it's because God is trying to show me that I need Him and I need not rely on myself. Only He can fix the problem- and use other people and resources on this earth to work through.

How comforting to know that God is sending me a gift this Christmas.

His Son.

And with His Son, I'm going to find peace. I need that peace so much right now. There's a storm brewing inside me and I have constant terror. I need Christ's peace to surround my heart and wrap me up as if I am a gift.

I'm going to find confidence. When my anxiety overwhelms me- which it will- I'm going to be confident with Christ behind me, knowing that I am stronger than all of this. If there is one term I have heard over and over again from others throughout this journey, it's "You're stronger." And I realize, that because of that small baby born in Bethlehem, I am stronger than any physical ailment that has control over my mind right now. I AM STRONGER.

I'm going to find real hope. That's exactly what I need. Because depression has left me feeling totally hopeless and helpless. And it's the worst feeling I could ever experience. But with Christ, I have hope. I have hope to wake up each day and be filled with joy.

I'm going to find meaning and purpose- perhaps this journey is changing me into something or someone that can help others. I don't know. But God does. And that's all that matters.

This Christmas, God is giving me the best gift I could ever ask for- healing.

To: Dylan From: God
Inside- a baby in a manger.
Who can bring me exactly what I need this Christmas.