A Minute Longer

A minute longer.


I posted a quote a few posts back about "A hero is one who holds on for a minute longer..."


I saw another one today that said "Courage means holding on for a minute longer."


I was just thinking today about all the circumstances where I held on...


-I lost my ability to walk for nearly 18 weeks, but I held on and I'm still walking.


-I fell several times while walking and bruised myself/scraped myself, but I held on for a minute longer.


-While I was in the wheelchair, my computer crashed, my parents were robbed, I lost my summer job, my part time job was not letting me back to work, and all sorts of other things went wrong. But I held on... always a minute longer.


-There were days where I felt so sick that I couldn't get up out of bed for the day. But my record held strong... I held on a minute longer... even though I was in a wheelchair and completely dependent on other people, I never skipped class for the day. I held on for a minute longer.


-When I had panic attacks and felt like I was going to die (and sometimes wished I had), I always held on a minute longer and was stronger to tackle the next one that came.


-When I was so nauseated and went almost four days without being able to eat, I held on a minute longer and my strength slowly returned.


-When one medication wasn't working, I held on a minute longer and finally found a correct match.


-When everything in my head and every circumstance seemed to scream "GIVE UP! YOU CAN'T DO IT!", I held on a minute longer, and survived.


-When schoolwork seemed impossible to do and I didn't know if passing any class was a possibility, I held on a minute longer (and came out with a 4.0 for the semester).


-When no one really could diagnose what was wrong with me and the words "paralyzation" came from the mouths of the doctors, I held on a minute longer and eventually found out what was wrong.


-When people slowly started walking out of my life, giving up on me, I held on a minute longer and never gave up on myself.


-When people broke promises and were closest to me now hate me, I held on a minute longer and stayed strong.


-When the words "multiple mental illnesses" came from the doctor's mouth, I was flooded with embarrassment and shame, feeling I would never tell anyone what was wrong with me. But I held on a minute longer and I'm happy to share my story.


-When Satan tried to convince me I wasn't worth living. That God didn't love me. That I was worthless. I held on a minute longer. And my faith is now the strongest it's ever been.


-When I was paralyzed with fear, I held on a minute longer and always saw a new day.


-When anxiety seemed to have a foothold on me, and I was on the verge of breakdown, I held on a minute longer and tackled even the biggest problems.


-When I wanted to quit everything, I held on a minute longer. And I'm so proud of myself.


I am so, so very proud of myself.


For holding on a minute longer.


And knowing that I will always be able to hold on for a minute longer.


When the world is screaming "GIVE UP!" Hope whispers, "Try it one more time. Hang on for a minute longer."


God is proud of me too. I know He is. I can see Him up there smiling down on me. "I knew you could hang on a minute longer. Well done."


Psalm 103 comes to mind, especially verses 13-18
As a father has compassion on his children, 
   so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him; 
or he knows how we are formed, 
   he remembers that we are dust. 
The life of mortals is like grass, 
   they flourish like a flower of the field; 
the wind blows over it and it is gone, 
   and its place remembers it no more. 
But from everlasting to everlasting 
   the LORD’s love is with those who fear him, 
   and his righteousness with their children’s children— 
with those who keep his covenant 
   and remember to obey his precepts.