Hold On Tight

I know yesterday was good, but, I got to thinking too hard about some things, and worked myself up and didn't sleep a wink last night. The first night that has happened in a long time. Even with my night time antidepressant pill, I was wide awake. My stomach was churning. I threw up this morning from worry, so I didn't go to class this morning, but after I showered, got some food, and calmed down, I was fine.


Months ago, when I couldn't sleep, I would read Job. It's been a while since I have again lately, but I did last night. And as I always did, I found another similarity between him and I. The people whom Job was closest to stopped speaking to him, and began to scorn him. Here is what it says in Job 30:9-15


“And now those young men mock me in song; 
   I have become a byword among them. 
They detest me and keep their distance; 
   they do not hesitate to spit in my face. 
Now that God has unstrung my bow and afflicted me, 
   they throw off restraint in my presence. 
On my right the tribe attacks; 
   they lay snares for my feet, 
   they build their siege ramps against me. 
They break up my road; 
   they succeed in destroying me. 
   ‘No one can help him,’ they say. 
They advance as through a gaping breach; 
   amid the ruins they come rolling in. 
Terrors overwhelm me; 
   my dignity is driven away as by the wind, 
   my safety vanishes like a cloud."


Okay... maybe my case isn't quite so severe. But, it still happened. And while I haven't experienced anything like being spit in the face, I honestly wouldn't be surprised if something like that happened next.


That, like many other things going on, and many other things that have happened, I still want to ask, "Why!"


But, like any other time I found a similarity with Job, I always turned to chapter 38. One of my favorite lines of the Bible. The Lord answers Job, "Where were you when I laid the earth's foundation?" 


Who am I to question God? We walk by faith. Not by sight. Walking by sight would mean knowing the why. Walking by faith means knowing that God is with us, and not against us. God has a plan, and is working for our good.


Last night I also stumbled upon Hebrews 4:14-16:
Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has ascended into heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin. Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.


For times like last night, faith is what is most important. As Paul says, "hold firmly to the faith" - I know you have had, and you will have, times when you feel so painfully alone. In those instances, hold on tight. 


Jesus is able to empathize with us. He endured whatever you are enduring. He's been there. He invites us to approach Him- where we will find mercy and grace.


I used to say to people when they asked "How are you?" , "I'm hanging by a thread." 


Hanging by a thread. Holding on tight to that faith I profess. Sometimes it seems like we're barely hanging on, but, it's during those times where God sees us about to let go, and He reaches down, and He grabs us.


And He holds on tight. He gives us help in our time of need. Those times when it feels like we are so painfully alone.


And that's what got me through last night. It's what's gotten me through all of this. Holding on tight. 


It reminds me of an action scene in a movie- often during the climax, the hero/heroine finds themselves dangling on a branch, log, or other object, whether they are ready to go afloat in the ocean, fall off a cliff, or into other danger. "Hold on tight!" is a phrase that's often heard from another trying to help.


God says the same thing. When we're grasping to something, knowing if we let go, we'll be doomed, He says, "Hold on tight!" and He always brings us to Him, where He holds on tight Himself.