Don't Tell Me

This is a list of something I started a long time ago. When someone would tell me something that really hurt or frustrated me, I would write it down on a list. I haven’t written anything down in a while since my struggles are not so big anymore, and I now typed them up because perhaps someone is reading this whom I don’t know who is looking for ways to help someone struggling. It seemed like every time I wrote something down and looked at it, it got rid of my frustration. 

Don’t tell me…

Don’t tell me you understand what I feel like because my journey is my own and no one will ever understand how I feel.

Don’t tell me you can’t understand what I feel like because there is no point in trying to understand someone else’s struggles.

Don’t tell me to stop feeling sorry for myself because that is the last thing I am doing or trying to do.

Don’t tell me that any of this is my fault because it’s a chemical imbalance in my brain I have absolutely no control over.

Don’t tell me that this is all in my head because it is a legitimate illness that affects the entire body.

Don’t tell me that I have it so good and I SHOULD be happy, because I already recognize those things, and if I already recognize them I would do what I could to feel good. But because of the illness, it’s impossible to be happy.

Don’t tell me to grow up because it takes a real mature adult to handle an illness like this and not give up.

Don’t tell me that I’m not normal because who gave you the right to come up with the definition of “normal” anyway?

Don’t tell me I want to feel this way because there is no way I would ever CHOSE to have this illness.

Don’t tell me to snap out of it because believe me, if it was that easy, I would definitely “snap out of it” as quickly as I could.

Don’t tell me to wake up in the mornings with a positive attitude because mornings are the hardest part of the day.

Don’t tell me that I am running with my problems like a baby to other people, because what I need is to TALK to people instead of bottling it in and handling my emotions in a stupid way.

Don’t tell me there is always someone worse off than me because illnesses are not something you can compare.

Don’t tell me to think more positive because that is one thing I am trying my hardest at and trying to feel better about, and to hear that makes it seem like I am epically failing.

Don’t tell me you’ll always be there unless you mean it.

Don’t tell me what you think I do or do not have control over, because unless you have a doctoral medical degree, you have no business making a judgment call like that.

Instead, tell me…

Tell me you are praying for me (if you mean it).

Tell me some encouraging Scripture verses.

Tell me you want to give me a hug (and do it).

Tell me you will listen (and do it).

Tell me you love me and many others do too.

Tell me that I am worth it.

Tell me that I am a baptized child of God and I am safe in His arms.

Tell me that you can only listen, but you can’t offer any help, that is the job of the professionals. Because I don’t expect help. Just a listening ear.

Send me encouraging notes in the mail/Facebook/e-mail. You have no idea what those can do to change a person’s day.

I just cannot stress how little reminders that seem so insignificant could always make such a HUGE difference in my day.