Confidence

I had a check up with my psychiatrist today. We are doubling medication dosages, but, we are definitely on a step in the right direction. Praise God!

She said something that really struck me. She said "Dylan, keep in mind that it's hard for other people to believe in you when you don't even believe in yourself. It's hard for anyone to value you when you don't value yourself."

It was almost if she had threw a brick in my face. Hello! What have I been thinking?

It's no wonder so many people have given up and lost hope in me. Because, I lost hope long before they did. While yes, I've wanted to get better, I really don't think I've had the attitude "I think I can get better." Rather, "This is too hard, I give up."

One quote that I recently pulled from my box was "Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you are right."

Isn't that true? I have been thinking all along that I can't do this anymore. Getting better is a far-fetched goal that I didn't think I was capable of achieving.

The truth is, I am capable. And attitude makes all the difference. In a Home Ec class in high school, our teacher made us pound our fists on the table and holler MOOMBA! MOOMBA!"

MOOMBA=My Only Obstacle Might Be Attitude

And attitude has proven to be a major obstacle for me. But I think I've conquered that obstacle, and it's time to keep moving forward to optimal recovery. Because I can. And only with the strength and help of Christ.

Don't fear, I have confidence again that I can tackle this. It won't be easy, but I'm ready to roll up my sleeves and do the dirty work.