Okay- time for a brief hiatus from Psalm 23 reflections. I know I was almost done, but I've got some other things to say... We'll jump back into the last few verses in a few days.
(Which, BTW, I like reader's opinions- do you like the Psalm reflections? Is that something I should do again with other Psalms?)
I saw this on someone's Facebook the other day and I wanted to reflect on it...
"You don't know how strong you are until strong is the only thing you can be."
I've also heard the phrase (and I don't know how valid it is- so if it's wrong, it could easy be)
"People who survive depression and mental illness are some of the strongest people you'll ever meet."
I've never considered myself particularly strong. Yeah, I work out occasionally, but I'm not a bodybuilder or anything.
But this isn't about physical strength- this is about endurance.
I never knew how strong I would have to be, or would end up being.
I still don't consider myself to be "one of the strongest people I know," but I feel I have to give myself some credit, I stayed strong through a lot.
It wasn't easy either, and I almost gave up in so many different circumstances. It was like this giant voice was in my head telling me
"You can't do this. You're not strong enough. You're too weak. Give up. It's hopeless."
Was it hard to be strong? Yeah. Was it the only thing I could be?
I think so...
I couldn't be brave because I was terrified.
I couldn't be confident because I had failed at so much.
I couldn't be hopeful because I was amid so much despair.
I couldn't be relaxed because I was constantly worked up.
I couldn't be at peace because of so many circumstances gone wrong.
I couldn't be happy because depression attacked and took away my ability to smile.
I could only be strong. While I hated hearing "Dylan, you need to be strong," I knew that was what I needed to be.
And I kept in mind "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." (Phillippians 4:13)
I didn't survive because of any of my own strength- because I had none.
But I found strength in my Savior. And I never knew, with Him, I could be so strong.
And if I overcame the hell that was thrown at me in the last year- I am strong enough to overcome anything.
Here's a clip from Soul Surfer I was reminded of...
Blessings:
-Last night's dinner was amazing!!!
-"Interesting" class period today- let's just leave it at that!
-I've been here four years and today was my first trip to the bakery with one of my friends in the class!
-Coffee and a maple-glazed cinnamon roll- it was amazing!
-Nap time again!
-Dinner at my friend Carol's house- chicken! My favorite!
-An amazing cherry chocolate cheesecake oreo dessert!
-A "How are you doing" e-mail from a friend
-Practice for my recital
-Two commitments to organ playing this weekend
-No homework tonight! :)
I like your Psalm reflections. I like the other stuff you write, too. :)
ReplyDeleteI second that!
ReplyDeleteLove love love that clip!! I cannot wait until this film comes out in the UK, I want to see it so badly!!
"People who survive depression and mental illness are some of the strongest people you'll ever meet."
- I think it's probably true that people who survive any sort of mental illness, or abuse, or trauma, *appear* to be the strongest people we'll ever meet. But probably because they've HAD to bring out that strength. You do seem one of the strongest people I know, Dylan, but that's because I know what you've been through. I think for the rest of us, maybe we do have the capacity for that strength but have been fortunate not to have to find out yet. Wait, no "maybe" about it. We all DO have that capacity for strength because We can do everything through Him who gives us strength!!!! Love that one. I have it written on a lolly stick in my bag. :D
Anyway, I agree, you are strong and you have endured a lot. Even if we do have that capacity for strength, doesn't mean everyone's going to hang on and show it. You did. I'm proud of you!
Psalm 23 is wonderfull, That was our main scripture for last years choir tour!More reflections would be awesome!:)
ReplyDelete