I'm A Fighter

I

DID

IT!

I survived! I am done with my finals! This semester is COMPLETE! And I SURVIVED!


It has by far been the most challenging time in my life, as I mentioned yesterday.. 


Questions were raised even before the semester started... and advice was given...
"Do you think you can handle a semester after last?"
"Don't you think you should take a leave of absence for health reasons?"
"Don't you fear for your own health and safety?"
"I really think you should take some time off."
"School is going to be a setback for you, and you might not survive another semester. "


And as the semester started off, things got really rough and rocky.
And more questions were raised...and more advice was given...


"You really should go home."
"You can't handle this semester."
"You're spreading yourself too thin. You won't make it until May"


Finally, when things got bad, a strong push was really learning toward hospitalization in a psychiatric ward, followed by a medical leave from school.


I almost went through with it. I almost had to in order to keep myself safe.


But, that wasn't for me.


No.


I'm a fighter.


I held on for a minute longer, as I've posted before.


I'm a fighter. I don't give up. While a hospitalization may have helped speed the healing process up a bit, I held on. I didn't give up.


And my perseverance, my hope, my faith, pulled me through.


And here I am today- I've conquered the worst of the depression.


And I managed to come out of all my classes with a 4.0.


Yes, I'm a fighter. I did it. A mental illness could have stopped me...


It could have stopped me from finishing my degree.
It could have stopped me from finishing a semester.
It could have stopped me from holding fast to the faith.


But it didn't. I'm a fighter. I pulled through. And now I'm celebrating.


To anyone who has ever doubted my ability or thought I wouldn't make it, here I am to prove you wrong. And to anyone who has gotten in my way, you have not knocked me down. As I recently saw in someone else's blog: "Hurt people hurt people." And hear this, as Patricia Polacco told me in a letter, “For the life of me, I’ll never understand people that, apparently, derive some sort of pleasure from ‘putting other people down, ignoring people, or being cruel.' I believe it is THEY that are unfortunate and cannot reach any stature unless stepping on another’s throat in order to gain status.”


I have a lot of people to thank for helping me pull through. I will get around to that. But thank you to all of my supportive readers who comment here and in e-mail, and face to face. Your support means more to me than I will ever know.


If you are reading this, and are suffering from a mental illness yourself, know that you can and you will pull through. You are amazing. Even if it seems darkness has encompassed your life, you can still get out of it. I never thought it was possible, but you can do it.


I am giving and receiving celebratory hugs today! Come get yours! :)


The journey is not over. But this is such a huge victory. It deserves to be recognized.


Blessings:
-FINISHING!


-"Thank you for everything you contributed to class."


-"You'll be here 3 more weeks? Great. Come visit!"


-"Yes, please stop by! I would love to chat!"


-Communion in chapel


-The smell of fresh cut grass and a nice spring breeze coming through my open window


God is amazing. God provides. He is good. AMEN!