When Life Hurts

Here's another letter I've written to myself...

Hi-

I know you're hurting. I know that through the last six months, life has hurt the most it ever has.

Remember when you said good-bye to your great grandfather, and then melted down at his funeral? Life hurt then too, didn't it? And it didn't go away. The pain of loss hung around for sometime.

And remember when your junior prom date/girl-you-liked said she'd go to the prom with you, and then dumped you six weeks later? Life hurt then too, didn't it? And it didn't go away immediately. The pain lingered on a while.

Remember when you held your grandmother's hand as she battled through breast cancer, and you saw how much she was hurting, which hurt you? That was a long couple of years. But do you remember what happened? You and your whole family made it through. The pain lasted a while, but it eventually went away.

And remember when your best friend stopped talking to you in middle school because interests changed? Life hurt then too, didn't it? While you remained friends, you were never as close as you once were. It hurt, and the pain hung around for a while.

Some of the times life has hurt the most are long passed.

But your recent struggles aren't. I know it's all really fresh. You went through a lot! Not everyone- in fact, most people, would never have been as strong as you are.

But you're really special- you didn't give up. You easily could have. You easily could have let your dreams shatter, your hopes lie tattered, your success explode. You could have lied down and given up. Because life hurt the most and you weren't sure it was ever going to go away.

And I know some of that pain is still burning in you- because it was serious stuff.

I don't mean to list these here to bring up painful memories- but to show you just how far you've come.
You were diagnosed with severe clinical depression, anxiety disorder, and obsessive compulsive disorder. You suffered panic attacks. You suffered anxiety attacks. You were harming yourself for a period of time. You had mania and heard voices and saw images that weren't there. Your closest friend decidedly walked out of your life and began persecuting you and glaring at you, ignoring you and being just plain mean. And in the midst of all of it, your parents were robbed, your computer totally crashed, you lost your summer job, you were not allowed to work, and you were still expected to keep up with all of your school work and maintain a high grade point average.

And I know how much that hurt.

But you know what? In less than 24 hours, when this summer course finally draws to a close, you can give yourself one big pat on the back.

You're amazing! I can't believe you survived ALL of that, AND maintained a near 4.0 GPA.

That is pretty darn impressive. Try to look at that, okay?

Don't think so much on the negative of everything that's happened. You already experienced so much, you only deserve great blessings and smiles right now. Dwell on that.

Smile! You did it! You're one step closer to hitching your wagon to the star you've been chasing after for so long. Your dreams will almost be reality. You've not let anything get in your way, and I know you never will.

You are strong. You have God on Your side. You can do anything.

Also, never forget ALL of the people who love you SO MUCH. Your family. So many, MANY professors and staff members who have not ever given up on you and have been on your side cheering you on through the whole thing. They all love you so much. You are blessed. Your friends who have not given up on you- some were weak and were afraid, insecure. They hurt you, I know, but forget them. THEY don't deserve YOU. Dwell on ALL of the friends who still love you and want to be with you- who love you for who you are. There are a lot of them. Your medical mental health professionals- they do believe in you too. Most importantly, GOD has been up there cheering you on this whole time!

I know life hurts. But as you have overcome hurts before, I know you will overcome this.

You are amazing. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Be proud. Others are. God is.

God loves you, and I love you too!

-Me

Blessings:
-I got this in an e-mail today:  You should be proud of yourself this year!! Most people would have freaked out and gone home if faced with the challenges that you faced. Not only you finished the year, but prevailed and bounced back victorious! A lesson and an inspiration for all that know you!!  love!


-LAST FULL CLASS SESSION!

-Home tomorrow for the summer!

-Again, only missed two on my quiz! (I am really in a good pattern here!)

-Delivered a flower to my mentor and it made her day!

-Printing off resources

-An amazing dinner at the cafe' with a very, very good friend!

-Chocolate raspberry torte for dessert!

-Packing up!

-Time to read!