Forgiveness is a Gift!

And now, another quote from "Have A Little Faith":

“It does no good to be angry or carry grudes.”

He made a fist.

“It churns you up inside. It does you more harm than the object of your anger.”

So let it go? I asked.

“Or don’t get it started in the first place."

 ….

“You know, in our tradition, we ask forgiveness from everyone--- even causal acquaintances. But with those we are closest with- we too often let things linter. Don’t wait.”

…..

“That’s why sages tell us to repent exactly one day before we die.”

But how do you know it’s the day before you die? I ask.

He raised his eyebrows.

“Exactly.”

.......

One of the things I'm still struggling with is not being forgiven by a few people. So this passage really struck me, especially in light of something that just happened within the last week.

Because of a conflict, I was upset with another worker at my church. I was hurt and disappointed. I allowed myself two days to stay that way. While I could have gone a lot longer, I let this person know, and now things are fine.

And I got to thinking, "You know, I could have spent a long time avoiding, ignoring, or being malicious and crude to this individual. But I didn't. I was upset for a few days, but then I CHOSE to forgive and now things are good."

It feels good to forgive. Forgiveness is a gift.

Did you notice that about the word? Forgive- give is right there inside the word!

Thinking back on the portion from the book about forgiveness, the speaker is correct- it does take a lot of energy to churn out bitter feelings. It takes a lot of work to be mad at someone and to avoid someone. And like the speaker says- this takes a lot more work and ends up piling on a lot more hurt than the original damage.

However, it's not all that hard to forgive. It makes me feel good to know I have given this gift, and because Christ forgave me, I am empowered to forgive others.

He leaves us with those words, "forgiving one another..." That's a direct command from him! 

It's also easy, I think, to get mad over such silly, stupid things. Sorry to be so blunt, but I was thinking about life before I became ill.

I became angry so easy with such stupid things. It was such a waste of my energy. Even now, I find myself, as of late, in conversations with people saying, "What a silly thing to get upset over!" Because there are so many things that cause us to sit and harbor these terrible feelings of anger and hurt.

Whereas, our energy can be spent giving- forgiving. Giving the gift of forgiveness. Letting it go, and letting God take care of it.

Is there anyone in your life you haven't forgiven? Forgiveness is more than just saying, "I forgive you."- if it was that easy, we'd all be aboard the forgiveness train and off scotch free. We could go around and do whatever we wanted, because we could always say "I forgive you." That's not how grace works.

Rather, is there someone you say you have forgiven, but deep down, you haven't?

Is there someone you're avoiding? Is there someone you no longer talk to? Is there someone who makes your skin crawl, and makes your head hurt just thinking about them?

Is there someone whose name floods your body with anxiety? Distress?

Is there a situation you can't let go of? Are there things that trigger your memory of the past?  Bad feelings? 

If that is the case, think about it right now. This is a challenge for you, all of my readers. I know I have people who I have not truly forgiven, so I am doing this right along with you.

Think of this person/these people. If you need to, sit down and write them a letter, keeping in mind you have no intent to send it. Be as open, blunt, and honest as you need to.

Sit down and read the letter. Then, lay it at the foot of the cross. There, forgiveness happens.

I encourage you to then do whatever it takes to forgive the individual. It's not going to be easy, but trust me, when you look back, it will make you feel much better than the feelings of hurt and anger that you are harboring. That may even be controlling your life and your day to day actions.

Pray for yourself and pray for this person. Ask God to help you forgive this person, just as much as He forgave you. If you know this person may do you wrong or harm you in the future, don't worry about it. It's in God's hands. If they will, and you know it, be ready to turn the other cheek. "Vengeance is mine, " this saith the Lord.

Now here comes the hard part. Contact the individual. Whatever way you feel most comfortable. Let them know you forgive them and are ready to move on.

I'm not promising you're going to get the same response back. But at least then, you know you have done everything in your power to forgive them, and it is done. It takes two to reconcile, and you can't do that if the other party is not willing. Just remember it is NOT your fault. Rather, it is probably anger, fear, and insecurity within the other person. That is their problem, and God's problem, not yours. They are only embarrassing themselves, and hypocritical too.

All Christians are encouraged to forgive. Give that gift. Don't wait. You never know the day before you die- so live every day with that in mind. Give. forgive. It's amazing- it's like you get a gift back, just forgiving. It's indescribable.