One of Those Kinds of Days

It was a tough morning. It was one of those kinds of mornings (and I would soon find out it would turn into one of those kinds of days)- the kinds of mornings where every stoplight you come to in the city is red, and the bar for the train tracks comes down right when you are ready to cross. And you're running late.

It started out to be one of those kinds of days.

I barely made it into staff devotions- it wasn't that I woke up late or anything, but the traffic this morning was bad. So yeah, not a good impression for the rest of the teachers/principal.

I started off the day with Jesus time. The lesson started off okay. Now, my students are a challenging bunch behavior wise. But today... it was just taken to a whole new level.

I don't want to go into detail, because I don't think anyone would understand, but, I reached my breaking point. I had used up all of my discipline strategies and nothing worked. I was so frustrated. I lost my patience, and I started doing things they tell you not to do when you're managing discipline.

When the students left for recess, I was just kind of like, what just happened?!!?!


I felt like a failure. Not because the kids were misbehaving, but because of the way I handled it and let it get to me.

My co-op and I sat down while they were at recess. She went over everything that happened and what I could have done in the situation. She said something like, "I know you love young children. I know you do- but you always have to show that. Always."

I was almost to tears. I was so mad at myself. She asked how I felt, and I said, "I feel embarrassed. I feel frustrated. I feel like I blew it."

And she said, "Do not feel that way. Why are you here? Because you are student-teaching! You are NOT perfect! You are here to learn and grow!"

She was not mad at all. She was not disappointed at all. And I knew that.

But I still felt like I had really messed up. I had copies to be made, so she took over the class when they came back and I went to the copy room. I took a few breaths and then the kindergarten teacher came in. (I want to say God sent her there). She said "You look really shaken up!" I said "Yeah..." and I explained what happened. She just had a way of making me feel better. She said student teaching is the hardest time of a teacher's career. Nobody is perfect.

I didn't teach again that morning. At lunch, when the kids were seated, she came up to me and she said "I am sorry about this morning." I said "Do not be sorry! I am so glad I had that experience because I learned from it!" She said "Well I feel bad you had to go through that... So I'm taking you to Dairy Queen this weekend."  (Note, I have the BEST co-op EVER!!!)

Shortly after a student came up and puked behind me. I turned away and did not breathe in, because the smell of vomit makes me sick. I took the students out for recess, and I had duty by myself. Yeah, it was one of those kinds of days.

I taught again in the afternoon. It went so much better, and I was so much calmer. I don't know why. But the students were so well behaved.

Then we had inside recess, and some of the students worked from the art cart. One after the other, they came and gave me their creations:

Yes, those are butterflies, and yes, the one in the middle says, "I love you," and yes, they are hanging on my dorm room wall (not the manliest thing, but they were so meaningful on a day like today, I put them up as a reminder to myself). They are amazing students. 

After school, I chatted with my co-op for a while, came back, had a fun dinner, went to a friend's room and talked all things education, and now I'm just getting back from a comedy sketch, where, I laughed loud, and one time I laughed loud and a bit later than everyone else, and that in turn made them laugh again, to which the comedian responded "Wow! He got more laughs than I did! He's winning!" I was a bit embarrassed, but it was all in good fun.

And now I came back and I prayed and said a big prayer of thanks to God. Because it was one of those days. The kind where everything turns around and seems like a blessing. And I'm thankful for every minute. I love those kinds of days. In fact, I have a lot of them. Daily. I think you might too, if you look back and think on it.