Cannot And Won't

Have you heard of Fanny Crosby?


Because of a medical mistake, from her earliest years Fanny Crosby was blind. 


Blind, but she could still see her Savior most clearly. 


At the age of eight, at the age of eight, Fanny Crosby wrote: "Oh, what a happy child I am, although I cannot see. I am resolved that in this world, contented I will be. How many blessings I enjoy that other people don't. To weep and sigh because I'm blind, I cannot and I won't!"


I've tried not to write about it, but depression makes teaching hard.


Yes, I've said I was a success story, and yes, I am. But, I still battle side effects daily.


It's like everyone is already exhausted and worn out from teaching. But it's like double for me. I have to fight that battle on a daily basis. Is it easy? No, not at all. You have no idea.


Am I succeeding? YES. 


I'm sure other people are being blessed by their positions. But, there seem to be a lot more things I appreciate that other people miss. To weep and sigh and give up because I'm depressed? As Fanny said, I cannot and I won't! 


On that note, today has been just awesome! 


We had music methods today. In class, we are learning to play recorder (or in my case, re-learning), so we can be able to teach it.


I didn't practice my notes this week, and while I read music very well, my fingers are big for the recorder so I really have to work to get fingering correct.


Anyway, we were playing songs and I was screwing up bad. And my partner kept saying, "You are messing me up Dylan!!" Of course, that just made me laugh, and that made her laugh, and we weren't very focused.


Then we had to play some song about a dog together with the class on CD. We were maybe two measures in and I landed on a wrong note, and she rolled her eyes and shook her head, and I let out a big "air" laugh. Which, happened to go right into my recorder, and it made a very LOUD squeal/squeak/whistle. Whatever you want to call it. Immediately, I fell into hysteria- to the point of tears, and maybe 2 other people in the class kept playing, everyone else was on the floor laughing. I didn't know a recorder could make a sound like that. Everyone thanked me for making their morning bright. I don't know what was funnier- the recorder noise, or me wiping away tears of laughter from my face.


As soon as I got to school, I did my first reading running records this morning and they went very well! 


In the afternoon, I taught a math lesson about making counting books to share with the kindergarteners. That went really well.


Then, I went out and changed for shared reading. I came back in as the "King of all things ING"- The King of All Things ING, who wears a rING and likes to sING, decided to brING the first grade students a gift that will help them remember how to spell ING. It went very well, and we made our word family house of ING words. 


This evening, I had a meeting with my supervisor and he gave me straight 5s on my first observation and overall report! YES! And I was doing so well on my lesson plans I can now switch to short form! Again, YES!