There, I said it. Well, I have taken it now, but I didn't this morning.
I thought maybe my time had come. I don't know why today- or what gave me such a strong impulse to do it, but I decided it was worth a try.
It was a try that failed. I started off okay- but as the day went on, I got ill, began trembling and having the shakes, and it was like going downhill- or the start of it.
So about 5:00 I finally gave in and took them. I learned, I'm not ready. I wish I was.
I wish that I didn't have to rely on these to keep me well. It's something I struggle with every morning and evening when I take them. "Why do I have to do this?"
So, I won't be doing that again any time soon. I probably should not have tried it without first consulting my psychiatrist, but I did, I learned from my mistake, and I won't do it again.
In the meantime, I just want to say that I am blessed with amazing people in my life. Can't even put my thankfulness into words.
OH- I wanted to share this with you. Below, first are my eyes in a picture from last year at this time. Followed by my eyes in a picture from recently. I promise I did no editing! That is just one example of how I have improved! I think it's both scary and absolutely amazing!
You look like you have a whooooole lot more life in you now!
ReplyDeleteAs for the medications, I'm not saying it was necessarily right to come off them straight away without consulting your psychiatrist, but mightn't trembling/feeling ill just be a withdrawal thing that would pass eventually? Or that would be easier to handle if you started to wean yourself off slowly (under the guidance of the psychiatrist!)? Don't lose hope!
Why do you tremble if you don't take your medication?
ReplyDeleteno shame in meds bro!
ReplyDelete