Present Tense

In the 17th century, Oliver Cromwell sent his assistant to Europe. The mission was critical to the country, and the assistant found himself unable to rest. His predicament was made doubly unbearable by his servant, at the foot of the bed, who was able to sleep most soundly. In frustration, the master woke the servant. He explained, "I need somebody to talk to. I am afraid things will go wrong." The servant requested permission to ask some questions. Permission granted. His first question was, "Master, did God rule the world before we were born?" The master allowed that was true. "And master, will God rule the universe after we're dead?" "Most assuredly," was the reply. Then concluded the servant, "Master, why not let Him rule your present as well?" 


Isn't that the truth? I wasn't sure what I should write about today. For the first time in well, a long time, I was stumped. So I started looking through my e-mail archives and found that short story. (Yeah, I have a lot of them.)


Letting God rule the present is tough.


Oh, believe me, I know, and you probably do too, that God in the present tense is a struggle.


When I was thinking back on my hardest times, and my darkest days, when it seemed one wave after another of depression and anxiety hit, it was so hard to leave God in the present.


Does anyone else struggle with this?


I was always reminded of how God brought me through the past- cracking my head open, losing my left eyebrow to a golf club, the death of my great grandparents, falling into a cactus patch, and all of the other struggles I had in my life.


Then why was it so hard to trust God in the present? This last year was probably the hardest of my life, and it was when trusting was the hardest. It still is- if you haven't read my letter and the story on the bridge, I would encourage you to do so.


Why is it still so hard? He's brought me out of the depression, yes, and as far as I can tell those awful waves are over (and so do my mental health professionals)-


but there's still the issues with it- insomnia, for instance. Why have I not climbed the pole?


I guess I really didn't realize how much of a struggle this was until I read that story. I'm a bit discouraged by it. 


Am I alone in this struggle?


I think it's time for some blessings!
-I am really getting into the 2nd book of the series I'm reading. I'm hoping to have all 3 done by the time I go to school.


-A friend asked me for advice on her classroom today! I was honored!


-My grandpa and I worked on the legs of my futon- it never really was put together right, so he is going to drill some holes into it.


-I got my first birthday card today! (But I'm waiting until Friday to open it).


-My high school Spanish teacher commented on one of my pictures on FB this evening- I loved her then, and her comment brought a big smile on my face!


-My grandparents hosted a big fancy dinner last night, and I got the leftovers, including the amazing seven layer salad.


-Pot roast for dinner!