The Night I Broke My Grandma's Heart

A year ago.

I know I've been visiting the past and reflecting on where I was a year ago, compared to today.

But the striking reality has really sunk in. I think it's because this is about the time last year that I actually remember things happening. There were weeks that are lost forever. But now they become a little bit more clear.

I do distinctly remember the night I broke my grandma's heart.

A year ago at this time, I still couldn't drive. Or, it wasn't safe for me to drive. Between the panic attacks and the inability of my leg movement, driving home was not an option.

So, my grandparents (since my mom had just had a major surgery), graciously agreed to come pick me up and bring me back.

I'll never forget the look on my grandma's face when she saw me hobbling along using a walker. It was kind of like all of the blood rushed out of her face, she was on the verge of tears, and she was in a state of semi-shock.

Later she told me that I broke her heart that night. It was so hard for her to see me in such shape.

But look where I am one year later (we were talking about this last night- my grandpa insists that it was two years ago... I could NOT have made this much improvement, according to him, in a year's time.)

But, I have. One year, and I'm on top of the world. Okay, maybe not on top of the world, but close. God has blessed me far more than I could have ever imagined.

And it feels great.

I think, based on my interactions with her last night, her heart has mended. It's healed, and what has helped it heal has been seeing me in such great shape. She said it was one of the things she was most thankful for this year, and it's the greatest Christmas present she will receive.

So, sorry grandma. But I'm glad we're both better now.

Let's see...news..
Oh.. I'm HOME! And I have spent a lot of time with my recovering sister! She has more balloons, flowers, cards, and baked goods than I could ever count! She seems to be of good spirits! It has been wonderful to be able to encourage her in person!

And... my GRANDMA IS HOME!!! (Note, the grandma who had the heart attack is different from the one whose heart I broke). She was discharged from the hospital (after a week's stay)

I heard about this.  It makes me sick. As a teacher, I feel so empowered to stop things like this. There is nothing cute and there is nothing funny about bullying or treating someone else badly because they are different from you. Words hurt more than a baseball bat. I will never understand how someone can get satisfaction from stepping on another's throat.

Remember the pastor I wrote this e-mail to? He was at a youth gathering this weekend, and someone name dropped me, and HE REMEMBERED ME!!!!!! I am so honored and thrilled. I highly, highly respect this guy. He has produced 4 CDs of his messages... and he sent them to CU to me as a gift! It made today the best day ever!

I got to play organ at my home church today. It's been too long since I had the chance to do that. We got to sing one of my favorite hymns, too!

It was so great getting hugs, warm welcome greetings, etc. So many people commented my new suit, that I looked so nice and healthy, and I have "lost weight and look great"!!!! :D

I am getting so much reading done!! I am probably reading a lot about stuff most people would call nerdy, but I love it! (Example- miscues and cueing systems; inhibitory control; cognitive flexibility).

Tomorrow I will see my other sister.

Wednesday I am going Christmas shopping with my mom.

Christmas is coming! :D

Keeping in touch with my best friend is awesome! Even if it is just a few text messages!

Everyone is getting a book from me this Christmas! No questions asked.

That's about it! I'm off of that nasty slope and well on the road to optimal success! :D I haven't broken anyone's heart this Thanksgiving! (Well, not yet anyway... =\ )